Customer Reviews

Cherry Charge Energy Drink, 24, 16 Ounce Cans

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I drank this while walking to work, and got so pumped up I couldn't stand it. There were these two muggers walking their dog, so I snapped their necks and threw their bodies under a bus, and this terrorist was driving the bus, so I sprang through the windshield and kicked his face right off the skull. Everybody was yelling at me to get control of the bus, but it is at that point that I left my body entirely. As the screaming bus plowed into a YMCA, I hovered lightly over the street in spirit form, feeling for the first time the energy flowing through all things. I could have become a god. Unfortunately, I sensed that there were still traces of Cherry Charge energy drink in my earthly body's mouth, and I immediately returned to it. It's a really good drink.

Dazzled by enthusiasm and dreams of a better tomorrow, I ordered a case of Steven Seagal's Cherry Charge Lightning Bolt to share with my co-workers.

We got it a few hours ago, and as patiently as possible, I waited for a can to chill in the fridge. I knew there'd be no point in seeking power before I was ready for it...

Finally, the time came.

That's right, I cracked open a can of Steven Seagal's liquid wisdom, started up 'Another One Bites the Dust' on my iPod, prepared to meet my destiny...

The first thing I noticed was the delicate aroma of rancid cough syrup. Clearly, this beverage was filled with herbal goodness, "a natural energy drink that's packed with vitamins and exotic botanicals."

Eager to reap the benefits of Steven Seagal's wisdom and herbal lore, I took a sip. And, Monkey-Savior-Hanging-From-a-Banana-Cross, it tastes like Squeezits, that horrible kids' beverage from the late 80s or early 90s?

The only thing worse than the aftertaste is what it actually tastes like when you pour it onto your unsuspecting tongue.

Now, my stomach isn't happy with me and I think my sinuses are filling up with electric eels. I now know why they call it Lightning Bolt... it's because they've just taken non-alcoholic Thunderbird and poured caffeine into it.

Well I just got mine from the gas station down the road, it's the cherry flavor. The tall, shiny and attractive can opens with ease even for those with thick fingers, and the cylindrical shape lends itself well to resting on flat surfaces.
Upon closer inspections, the fluid inside smells quite of medicine, and burns just a touch when you drink it. Best to guzzle quickly like taking a really big 16oz swig of Vicks 44D.
The rush builds as a crescendo, rising to ungrodly msasivve levles offf whooosh wich makes you go vroooooom and dinga dinga zing popping!!!!
THEN THE REEL BUZ KIKes IN AND YOU GO BOBBA BOBBA BOBBA
GOTTA CLEAN MY SEWEET RIDE'S INTAKE VLAVES AND FLORBOOARDS NOW OK BYE!!!


Well, apparently I neglected to hit submit, and 13 hours later, this review is still on my screen. Although I am quite astonished at its contents, I post it here so that you may be either forewarned or heartened by the incredible potency of this beverage. Pay no attention to the fact that Steven Seagal is on the label. A funny feeling I got when I woke up this afternoon leads me to believe he tastes completely different.

By the looks of the website, this beverage is endorsed by the likes of Johnny Cage and Raiden.

This long lasting energy elixir tastes like someone head-butted my taste buds and put my brain in a half-nelson.

I'm going to try and drink an entire case and see if I grow a sweet pony tail and start fighting terrorists on a train.

On the negative side, I got so pumped drinking this long lasting energy elixir that I head-butted my computer screen and broke it. Don't know how I'll explain that to the people at work. I'll probably just drink some more and head-butt them in their stupid faces!

Intrigued by the hype, I set out to enjoy a frosty Cherry Charge. Of course, not wishing to disappoint (and possibly incur the wrath of) Mr. Seagal, I did not sip cautiously; rather, I threw back my head and quaffed mightily. Unfortunately, this brought the can up high enough that the imprint of Mr. Seagal's face upon said can caught my eye whilst I was in mid-gulp. For some reason unbeknownst to me, this sight triggered a hearty guffaw -- normally a pleasant experience, but not well-timed, as it caused the brew to spew out through my nose in a gush. The doctors say that they *may* be able to rebuild my sinus cavities one day; I'm keeping my hopes up.

In the meanwhile, I've decided to stick with Jackie Chan's Fruity-licious Coco-Pop, Chuck Norris' Prune Juice Elixir, and Jet Li's Just Plain Water - Wanna Make Something of It?, at least for the time being.

During my lunch hour one day, I realised that I was in need of the kind of rush produced only by action movies, specifically Steven Seagal action movies (the same rush is produced by raw musli, but I hate the taste). So I went to the newsagents across the road from work and purchased (again) "Belly of the Beast", "Out for a Kill" and for that old school flavour "Hard To Kill". Obviously not having enough time to watch these films I liquified them, and drank the black-purple substance that resulted. During my stay in Hospital, I realised that this had probably been a mistake. However, a hard working, if strangely unattractive nurse, told me: "We used to get three of four cases like this a week" and handed me a leaflet. Could this leaflet be true? Steven Seagal has his own energy drink. I rushed out of hospital, aikidofying several interns on the way, and instantly bought the nearest crate of cherry charge I could find, which was in Bosnia. After I started drinking cherry charge, my strength increased ten fold, I lost so much weight I technically don't exist, and my productivity at work increased 500%. You would have though 100% was the limit but apparently not. The only downside is I am now so fast it is difficult to understandwhatIamsayingyouknowwhatImean. As a result my wife, who was eager to increase her own productivity, misunderstood me and ate my copy of "Submerged" without even liquifying it. She's currently in Hospital, and true this would never have happened if I hadn't discovered Cherry Charge, but I am sure this is more my fault for not being man enough to cope with the effects than any problem with the produce. Thank You, Mr. Seagal.

I just had my first Cherry Charge energy drink, and I must admit that I like it. I had one room temperature and found it smooth and pleasant to drink, packed with flavors and light stench of rotten cherries.

Make no mistake: this drink will not disappoint. Great for gifts too.

i had heards some bad stuff about Steven Seagal's Lightning Drink, but when i saw some at my local 7-11, i decided to try one anyway. Honestly it was not that bad. No, it did not make me want to fight ninjas or give me amazing akido skills when i drank it. It didn't make me want to throw up or anything like that either. It was probably the best tasting Energy drink i've had.Red Bull tastes like Chuck Norris' Urine, Monster tastes like total crap. People tell me i'm a picky person, and if i like it, it must be at the very least, decent.

I've tried a few of these "Energy Drinks" and most of them taste pretty awful...Except Seagal's Lightning Bolt. In fact, in the week that I've had a case of each flavor, I've almost cut out the 24 oz Pepsi bottles that are like liquid sugar and caffeine. Pepsi has 27g sugar per 8 oz and these drinks have 30g per 8.4 oz...But it's a "natural" sugar instead of the highly-refined high fructose variety. The can refers to it as "all natural Polisweet, an imported sugarcane juice concentrate containing policosanols." It definitely has a "sweet" taste to it. And each 8.4 oz has 100% of B3, B5, B6 and B12 vitamins...Something you surely won't find in Pepsi. Since these are BIG 16 oz cans, they're a pretty good deal when it comes to energy drinks. I got mine during a Friday Sale for about $33 per case of 24 and bought 2 cases to get the new Grocery promotional $10 off which comes to less than $1.20 per can with free shipping. (Just free shipping on a case of 16 oz drinks is a decent value.) I honestly have no preference between the 2 flavors...They're both pretty tasty and they don't make me tremble and sweat (like Monster does). Pick some Lightning Bolt up and try it...The worst that can happen is you don't like it.

Steven Segal's energy drink is a good buy because basically the only time that I felt any jitteryness was when I started to drink the drink after a long period that I went without it. After I drank the drink for the first time in a while, I think my body got used to it and it has been energizing me in a powerful way without headaches for a long time. I highly recommend this drink becuase some of the other energy drinks on the market usually have added cheap caffiene in them, and this can be harmful to people who are sensitive to cafiene. This drink has guarana in it, which is like caffeine, but has given me energy boosts without headaches and stuff.