Child of Divorce, Child of God: A Journey of Hope and Healing [Paperback]

Kristine Steakley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 30, 2008

Children of divorce carry wounds into adulthood. Divorce affects our relationships to other people, our fears and longings, our faith, and our spirituality. We may have difficulties with anger, guilt, commitment or forgiveness. But our identity need not be marked only by our parents' divorce. God can enter into our woundedness and bring transformation and hope. Kristine Steakley chronicles the emotional and spiritual challenges facing adult children of divorce. She tells her own story of abandonment and estrangement with all the attendant questions of trust, self-worth and identity. But she has found that God can repair and reparent us in ways that heal and restore our relationships with ourselves, our parents and God.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Are your parents divorced? This book is for you. Kristine Steakley writes from experience--her own and others'. She weaves a mosaic of hope out of the threads of Scripture, research, literature, movies and real-life stories." (Leith Anderson, president, National Association of Evangelicals, and pastor, Wooddale Church, Eden Prairie, Minnesota )

"In a culture where a majority of families have been torn by divorce, Kristine has filled these pages with healing and hope straight from God's Word. No matter what age you are, if you have experienced the raw pain of your parents' divorce, these words can bring revelation and cut through the myriad emotions and thoughts you experience. Parents, please read to understand how absolutely vital it is for you to help your children through one of the most difficult seasons of their life." (Ron Luce, president and founder, Teen Mania Ministries )

"Child of Divorce, Child of God is a must-read for every young-adult child of divorce as well as adults whose parents divorced years ago. Kristine expertly weaves the Word of God throughout the entire book. Her personal stories and insights will captivate every reader and bring them to a deep understanding of God's call for them. Her words bring hope and comfort and let the reader know that they are not alone in their quest to find healing for the wounds of today and from the scars of yesterday." (Linda Ranson Jacobs, executive director, DivorceCare for Kids )

"A tender exploration of the hardships and comforts a growing child of divorce finds in a life of faith. Steakley's story will be familiar to anyone who, despite the broken family dreams of the past, has sought to find wholeness in the Christian faith." (Elizabeth Marquardt, author of Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce )

"Kristine Steakley sensitively addresses the wounds that many children of divorce bear so bravely. By pointing them to the One who binds up the brokenhearted, she does more than many books written on the subject of divorce: she not only addresses the issues, but offers real hope for healing." (Chuck Colson, founder, Prison Fellowship )

About the Author

Kristine Steakley is a freelance writer and grant-writing consultant living in northern Virginia. She is a graduate of Messiah College in Grantham, Pennsylvania, and worked for more than a decade at Prison Fellowship Ministries.

Product Details

• Paperback: 181 pages
• Publisher: IVP Books (July 30, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0830834710
• ISBN-13: 978-0830834716
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #346,656 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Offers Hope and Healing, September 16, 2008

By 

Tim Challies (Oakville, Ontario) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Child of Divorce, Child of God: A Journey of Hope and Healing (Paperback)

I grew up in a stable family and in a church community of stable families. Divorce was almost unknown among the Christians I knew as a child. But as I looked to friends and family outside the bounds of the church I saw many broken homes. My parents let us see these families and I think they wanted us to see them as an object lesson in the reality that God is the one who had bound our family together and the one we would trust to always keep it bound together. It is a sad reality, though, that many families and almost a majority of families are immediately affected by divorce. It is sadder still that Christian families are by no means immune.

Kristine Steakley came from such a broken home. Here is how she begins her new book Child of Divorce, Child of God:

"Three-year-old Krissy stands at the window, her mom by her side. Outside, Krissy's dad drives away in his car while Krissy and Mom wave goodbye. It sounds like a common enough memory--and it would be, except that it is the only memory Krissy will ever have of her mom and dad together."

"More than thirty years later, that memory still makes my heart weep for the child I was. That was me, waving goodbye to Daddy."

In this book, just published by IVP Books, she writes about the challenges, both emotional and spiritual, that face adult children of divorce. Do note that this is not a book written specifically for parents of broken families or for young children, but for grown children who have experienced divorce as part of their childhood. By telling her own story, Steakley describes the difficulties faced by many adults who once saw their families fall apart. And while she describes honestly the inevitable challenges, she offers hope--the hope given to us through the God who cares, the God who is the Father to the Fatherless and the healer of broken hearts.

The pain of divorce and its wide-ranging implications do not end with the dawn of adulthood. Instead, the hurt may continue indefinitely and, unless dealt with in God's way, may never go away. And so this book deals with a wide range of issues: the acknowledgment that God is compassionate and tender and wants to help with deep hurts; that God is faithful even when others have proven they are unfaithful; that children of divorce carry heavy burdens that God wishes to help carry; that God's love sustains and overcomes natural inabilities; that God is the source of peace and security; that God can restore hope and joy; that there is purpose in suffering and that God is able to help children of divorce be more than mere statistics; that God expects His people to extend forgiveness and to let go of bitterness. The overall message is that God is sovereign and that God is love. He is the source of all true healing.

The author's pattern throughout the book is simple and effective; she describes one of these issues particular to children of divorce and brings Scripture to bear on them. And she does so with clarity and with great effectiveness. Throughout she seeks to have the reader experience the hope and healing that comes from knowing the depth of God's love. And she seeks to have the reader, who is intimately familiar with the pain of broken homes, become an advocate for families. "I pray that all of us would become advocates and intercessors for other families in trouble. I pray that we would stand firmly on the side of marriage, encourage others to honor and cherish their spouses, and live our own lives in ways that uphold biblical standards. I pray that, on behalf of other children of divorce who may not have a voice, we would speak out about the heartache we have experienced and the incredible hope and healing we have found in Christ. I pray that we would find ways to reach out to the families in our own churches and communities that have been touched by divorce. When we do these things, we redeem the tragedy of divorce that struck our family, turning it into something that brings hope to others and glory to God."

I noted just a couple of downsides to the book. First, I would have liked to see perhaps just a little bit more emphasis on the gospel. This is not to say that the gospel was absent from the book but I'm not sure it maintained quite the centrality it might have had. Second, I would caution readers against the author's advice that they read John Eldredge's book The Journey of Desire when considering hopes and dreams. And finally, the issue of conditional versus unconditional forgiveness arose in my mind as she described the importance of extending forgiveness. I would have liked to have seen a little bit more on forgiving those who seek no forgiveness and perhaps the difference between offering forgiveness and actually granting forgiveness.

Overall, Child of Divorce, Child of God is an excellent book and one I would not hesitate to recommend. I am grateful to God that I am not the book's primary audience, but am still grateful that I read it. It has given me a valuable window into the challenges faced by those who come from broken families and how they may carry deep wounds into adulthood. It has strengthened my resolve that I must do all that is necessary to protect my own marriage. And it has shown me the incredible centrality of the family in God's plan for people and thus the heartbreaking tragedy that is divorce.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very good and easy to understand, December 30, 2008

By 

Debbie (Harrison, AR United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Child of Divorce, Child of God: A Journey of Hope and Healing (Paperback)

This book is obviously focused on the children of divorced parents (no matter their age). It's also for those who are in contact with them and who want to better understand what they're going through.

The author describes the different issues a child of divorce goes through and then focuses on how, as children of God, we can find healing for that issue. She uses (Christian) scripture to make her points and does a very good job with it. She speaks clearly so it's easy to understand.

The most important point she makes is that we need to understand God as he is rather than as we view him based on our experiences with fallible humans. By fully and correctly understanding God's love for us, we can find hope and healing--not just for our future, but for our hurting past.