In this book childless people tell their personal stories of finding forms of parenting other than through biological children. It includes chapters by Jeffrey Mishlove, Jane English, Stanislav Grof, Brooke Medicine Eagle, and 16 other men and women from many walks of life. There is also a cross-cultural and historical overview of the roles of childless people. The book speaks to people facing infertility, to people choosing childlessness in an overpopulated world, and to therapists and counselors.
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"This timely volume addresses a key question of our time; population control means not having children. Being not bodies alone, we need cultural (philosophical and social) underpinnings to mentally and emotionally support the physical act of not reproducing. The subjects of "Childlessness Transformed" have achieved this for themselves and may be clearing the way for many more of us.
This book is strong stimulant to discussion of the issues raised both personally and for society of reducing population through childlessness. While individuals will benefit form absorbing these stories, the volume is well-suited for book clubs and college classes, and for discussion by environmental groups struggling with population control issues." -- Sierra Club Newsletter "Bonanza" Sacramento, CA, Fall 1989
"While offering valuable testimony about a thorny subject, this book feels llike a soft shoulder and a warm hug. It's balm for anyone who has ever struggled with this nearly-taboo subject." -- New Directions for Women, New York, Nov-Dec 1989
From the Author
From the Introduction - Jane English
One of the things that inspired this book was realizing that I actually am grown up, that I am taking responsibility, that I am caring and nurturing, and that these are the things that are all supposed to happen when you have children. I was surprised to be feeling these parent-like feelings without having had children. When I really deeply, not just in my mind or in my heart but in my womb, understood that I would not have children, I was 45 years old. It was at that point that I could look at myself in a balanced way and realize, oh my goodness, some of what I'm doing is parenting! Parenting can find expression in many ways other than through having biological children, ways that are not at all second-rate, just different.
One of the things that inspired this book was realizing that I actually am grown up, that I am taking responsibility, that I am caring and nurturing, and that these are the things that are all supposed to happen when you have children. I was surprised to be feeling these parent-like feelings without having had children. When I really deeply, not just in my mind or in my heart but in my womb, understood that I would not have children, I was 45 years old. It was at that point that I could look at myself in a balanced way and realize, oh my goodness, some of what I'm doing is parenting! Parenting can find expression in many ways other than through having biological children, ways that are not at all second-rate, just different.
The general areas that I asked people to speak about were first, their own stories, their evolution toward the choice not to have physical, biological children, both the easy parts and the difficult parts of that journey, and about living childless in a culture that places great value on having children. Second, they discuss ways that at present in their own lives they find themselves parenting, in whatever form, with individual people or in some larger sense. And then finally, they share any overall vision that they have on the whole question of having children and not having children in relation to what's going on in the world. I asked each person to speak of his or her own experience, knowing that we often learn more by hearing another person speak truly and from experience than we do by reading scientific studies of the behavior of people.
The process of choosing childlessnesss can be very pre-verbal or non-verbal, so I asked my friends to allow words to emerge around the edges of the feelings, sensations and images that are associated with their "yes" and their "no" on the issue of having children. I trust that there is something in these stories that resonates directly with something in you, the reader.
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