Customer Reviews

Children Are From Heaven

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

I saw IMMEDIATE results when i applied the principles of John Gray's "Children are from Heaven" to my 2-year old daughter. Although I was skeptical Gray's techniques would work, not only did my 2-year old respond, but I became a happier, more relaxed, and more confident mother. I finally had an alternative to the "hard" discipline on which I was raised and the "soft" discipline that was obviously not working on my 2-year old. My pediatrician recommended this book to me and I have been spreading the word ever since! Thank you John Gray!

I am a huge fan of John Gray's. His books on adult relationships are wonderful. This one confuses me - it's not up to his standards. There are good points made, but the book is a chore to read. Also some conflicting advice throughout. I wish he'd re-think this and re-write it. In the meantime, if you want a good book on positive parenting try one of these: Positive Discipline, Kid Cooperation, The Discipline Book, Perfect Parenting.

I knew for sure this would be the best parenting book yet. How in the world did it get so much publicity? I am the mother of 5 and it's nothing new and sad to see so much confusion throughout the book by every little thing being repeated over and over. We received another book with much clearer and tried and true kid proof skills, Mommy-CEO, is bascially the same message but much more user friendly. Moms with many children want consise, simple and workable plans and we want it now!

John Gray's new book is incredible. If you have children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews it's a must. All teachers, administrators, coaches, day care professionals, or anyone at all who works with or comes into contact with children would benefit greatly from reading this insightful book. There are so many ideas, all of which give adults the tools in being successful in raising loving, compassionate, considerate children. In this day and age of teen violence and confusion John Gray has given us hope. This book will affect parentinglike Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus affected relationships. Putting both into practicewill affect many generations to come. What a world we could have. Thank you John for your insight!

This book provides some excellent advice to parents in child rearing. I only wish I had this book and knew about postive parenting when my children were first born. I am trying to incorporate the suggestions into dealing with my 13 year old twins boys and my 18 year old daughter. Positive parenting methods are also worthwhile for dealing with adult relationships too.I recommend it to all parents and suggest it as a perfect baby gift.

As a counsellor, I have long admired and respected John Gray for his vast and learned knowledge and for his ability as a writer. "Children Are from Heaven" is a beautiful concept. Grey reinforces the power of positive attitudes in the role of parenting. He bases his philosophy on the concepts it is okay to be different(we are all unique individuals,) okay to make mistakes(we learn from our mistakes,) it is okay to express negative emotion (children also have negative feelings,) it is okay to want more(wanting more, incourages children to dream, achieve and reach for the stars,) and it is okay to say,"no" but remember Mom and/or Dad are still the boss (children will test limits, both yours and theirs.)

The book contains very accurate and positive information; however, Gray's concept about raising children with a positive attitude is nothing new in our modern-day world. What is extremely disheartening is the fact not all parents understand the importance of, nor do they implement, a nurturing and positive environment for their children. The approach taken here is similar to many found in other professionally written parenting books, except the author has chosen different words and his own unique writing style to relay the concept. I expected to find an expanded version or a new theory in Gray's book but that did not happen. For this reason, the book received a rating of four stars and not five. Regardless of what words are used, the book still contains a valuable message, and it is certainly worth reading...no matter how many times you may have read or heard the message before.

Gray shares a welcome sensible perspective on raising children of all ages that keeps the parents in complete charge while encouraging the parents to respect and understand the kid's feelings. That does not mean the kids always or even usually get their way. My older children (9, 12 and 15) have told me during our calmer more rational discussions, outside the heat of the moment, that they like the change is MY behavior and they feel more like I'm on their side rather than the enemy on their backs screaming, insulting, and punishing like I used to. The younger kids (4 and 6) also seem to cooperate more when I acknowlege their feelings and then clearly state and stick to the boundaries. We are by no means wimpy parents with our 5 kids; however, we have become more aware of separately addresing feelings from behavior. I find myself much calmer and listening a lot more than I used to. The amazing thing is that my husband and I have stopped much of the yelling, threatening, and searching for an even harsher punishment that wasn't really working anyway. Another book that really is very compatible with Gray's thoughts is called "The Pocket Parent". It has hundreds of suggestions to try with your 2-5 year old, focusing on most of the annoying behaviors that often drive even the best parent to the edge of their sanity. I highly recommend both books that specifically teach you how to change your behavior first inorder to get more cooperation from the kids.

You can get the main ideas of this book by reading the back cover, the introduction, or even the table of contents. The rest of the book is very repetitive, with lots of fluff. It's unfortunate, because Gray's message about parenting is an excellent one, and very important in an age where too many parents are neglecting this important aspect.

Instead of this book, I recommend How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish. It is full of practical tips and exercises to help you communicate with your children in a way that is respectful, instructive, and helpful. It will help you build relationships with your children that will bring you all closer together, at the same time as it helps your children develop reliability, compassion, and initiative. It has transformed our family and I recommend it to everyone I know.

This book has some wonderful theories that I hope to practice,but reading through this book was tedious because of the lack ofediting and repetition. I feel like marking up the book and returning it to the publisher, if only I had time. This book needs to be edited and re-released. Publishing this book in such a state reflects poorly on the Publisher and the Author.

I also disagree with the notion that children today are more sensitive than older generations were when they were children. Dr. Gray didn't say much to back up this premise, but I do not believe that this is at all relevant to his message.

I have 2 sons ages 11 and 12 and am always on the lookout for sound parenting advice. Thinking I had found it here, I put some of the advice into action. One thing I did was to start using the words "Will" or "Would" when asking my children to do something. For example, "Will you please pick up your room?" and "Would you take out the garbage please?" This was not an easy habit to get into and it took quite some time before I mastered it. When I used this method they would seem to procrastonate and also become defiant. I should have recognized that this was the cause and stopped. After using it for about a year, one day my sister who is a school psycologist said, "Why are you asking them if they will take out the garbage? You should tell them in a polite way." I couldn't believe the difference it made when I said, "Please take out the garbage." They just got up and did it. I think by asking them with using will and would made them think they had a choice, (This was Gray's premise. He said that children inherently want to please so they will make the right choice.)but they did not automatically want to please. I think it made them resentful to make it sound like they had a choice when in fact they did not. If I asked them, "Will you pick up your room?", it was not optional. Now when I want them to do something I tell them politely to do it. After all I am the parent.