Customer Reviews

Children: The Challenge : The Classic Work on Improving Parent-Child Relations--Intelligent, Humane & Eminently Practical (Plume)

5 star:		(60)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

My in-laws raised my husband on this book, and he is quite a wonderful person. We intend to raise our children this way, too.

The book IS outdated, and I don't agree with 100% of it.

For example, research done since the book was written has shown that quick, consistent, loving response to a baby's cries builds trust and communication between the baby and its parents. So I would disregard the advice to leave a baby to cry.

Dreikurs is opposed to spanking, but it's because he doesn't think it works very well, not because he thinks it's inherently harmful or dangerous. So his advice to let other significant adults in your child's life use corporal punishment if they want to is off, I think.

Other parts of the book are outdated as well, but not in ways that would matter as far as changing parenting techniques. Well, you shouldn't leave your kids alone in a car, obviously, but other than that....

Why am I still giving his book five stars even with all of the above reservations? Because even WITH all of my reservations, I still think this is the best childrearing book I have ever read--and I've read a lot of them. It clearly outlines a parenting style that is neither authoritarian nor permissive, and contributes to loving relationships where people take responsibility for their actions. I can't recommend it more highly. If you have children or if you interact with them at all, do yourself a favor and read this book!

I've gone through so many parenting books and magazines - and this book is reaaly the first helpful book I've come across. I found results in my home in days - more cooperative children, a lot less fighting, and a calmer, happier mother. The author demonstrates clearly how to maintain disciipline and order while also respecting children and their free agency. When I first found the book I called my mother, "I finally found a book that IS my philosophy of child rearing!" Ironically, it is an old edition of the same book that my mother read over and over when I was growing up.

My son was about 2 1/2 years old when I found "Children the Challenge" in a box of books I bought at auction. I started reading it and realized it put into words things I felt but couldn't articulate. All the things I said I wouldn't do to my children ( and found myself doing because my parents did ) I was able to change almost overnight! I guided 3 preteen step-children from wild uncontrolled children to at least respecting ( becaused they were respected ) and more coopertive members of our family. My son was raised on this book -- succesfully. Today, he is 15 years old, we are very close, he is very loving, and 97% of the time way talk our way through our problems. My mother, though all of this said most of what I was doing wouldn't work, but every 6-12 months she says how pride she is of him and what a good job I'm doing ( we've see her weekly all his life ). I've been a single mother for the last 8 years and I've kept his father very involved in his life ( don't fight-using the kids. READ THE BOOK ! ) This book really is the best. Two years ago my father checked Amazon.com for the book ( I couldn't find copies of it anywhere else, ( lost my original book when I loaned it to a co-worker)), and I ordered two copies, one for me and a friend. I'm going to order more for gifts ! I thank God I found it again. Questions ? E-mail me Chewbacca-wooky@juno.com

I liked the most of the themes in this book a lot: encourage your child, you can only control yourself, etc. Very very similar to Robert MacKenzie's Setting Limits, which is a little less dated. I wasn't crazy about the "Stay out of Fights" part, for instance. I don't have a problem letting kids settle their own fights, but not when the kids are pummeling each other, which they often will. He doesn't cover that. By the end of this book, I had the feeling the author was a big advocate of ignoring. All in all, I thought it had some good practical advice, it was easy to read and quick to get through so you can put it to use immediately. I think like most of these books, you have to adopt those things you inherently agree with and leave the rest.

This is the best book I have ever, ever read. I went to a seminar given by a local published psychologist and he told us it was the best book on child discipline he had ever read. That is why I got it. In one week my life has been changed by this book. I have learned techniques to motivate my children and avoid power struggles which had been a part of my daily life for the last five years. My only regret is that I did not get this book sooner. I could not be more impressed. This is something that really works. I have told all my friends. I want the world to know too.

I am a 47 year old mother of three sons. I was given this book many years ago by a friend and I have recommended it many times. It is a practical, easy to follow concept: Help your children make wise choices and live with the consequences! It eliminates the power struggle between parent (authority) and child (rebellion). You help explain their choices, possible outcomes of those choices, and what you will or will not do in any given situation. For example, "I cannot drive this car with so much shouting. If you continue to shout (argue) I will stop the car". If shouting persists, stop the car and get outside until everything is quiet. A few stops like this and all you need to do is put on the turn signal. They learn that if they choose to argue and make noise in the car, the car will stop. One son decided he did not like his winter coat the first day it was cold enough to wear it. I said, "ok" and didn't push the issue. However, when he arrived at school, he wasn't allowed outside for recess. The next day he took the coat and never complained about it again. BUY THIS BOOK.

Worth the time to read. Helps you have a good foundation of knowledge for raising children. Remember though, this book is REAL old so many of the examples and ideas are outdated. Combine it with a good current book such as Kid Cooperation (How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading) by Elizabeth Pantley or Positive Parenting by Jane Nelsen.

I got this book 15 years ago on the advice of a pediatrician, and used its principles. IT WORKS! The relationship that I have with my son, who is now 21, is proof of that. Even during his difficult teenage years, we were able to communicate in a positive way. I am so convinced of this book's effectiveness that I always give it as a gift to new parents. P.S. the concepts work in your other relationships also!

This book was presented to me back in the 70's. Today I pass it on to two of my daughters, age 33 and age 35, who are using this new addition to help them with their children. This helped us through the 70's and my children still talk about the methods we used in those days that were recommended by Dr. Alfred Dreikurs. I think this book is oustanding and actually phenonmenal. Most of all it is SIMPLE. I recommend it to anyone trying to raise children without understanding or guidance and feel lost. It is so simple, it cuts out all the screaming, fighting, whinning, begging and manipulations little ones are so good at and saves Mommy from frustration and insanity. Daddies can use it too.

Just over 30 years ago, when I was expecting my first child, I did a parenting course here in Melbourne, Australia. The course was based on the original version of this book. My daughter and her younger brother were raised using the principles of "logical consequences" as in the book. This helped us all relate happily together, even during and after the separation and divorce of their father and myself. Now both my children are university educated, happily married adults. Even now, people comment on how delightful my children are and how, as a single parent, I must have been "lucky" to get such good kids. I know that luck had nothing to do with it! Last week I found that my son's wife is expecting my first grand-child. My son asked if I still had "the book". I don't know where it is now, but I am so glad to see that I can get him one from Amazon. I'll order 3; one for my son, one for my daughter and one for a "refresher" course for me. I wouldn't trust anything else!