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Children Learn What They Live Paperback – January 5, 1998


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Children Learn What They Live + Teenagers Learn What They Live: Parenting to Inspire Integrity & Independence + What Children Learn from Their Parents' Marriage: It May Be Your Marriage, but It's Your Child's Blueprint for Intimacy
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Workman Publishing Company (January 5, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0761109196
  • ISBN-13: 978-0761109198
  • Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.6 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #275,132 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Since its publication in 1954, Dorothy Law Nolte's inspirational and educational poem, Children Learn What They Live has been published worldwide, translated into 10 languages, taught in parenting and teaching courses, distributed in doctors offices, and printed on posters and calendars. In Children Learn What They Live: Parenting to Inspire Values, authors Nolte, a teacher and lecturer on family life, and Rachel Harris, Nolte's friend and teaching associate, have taken the classic poem and fleshed it into a small gem of a book. The expanded version maintains the grace and wisdom of the original, yet adds significant insight into the process of encouraging values through example. "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn," begins the poem (and the book), and so Nolte and Harris suggest effective ways to avoid or prevent constant criticism. As a set of guiding principals, as teaching tools, or as gentle reminders, Nolte and Harris's approach to teaching values to children encapsulates the best in parenting wisdom. --Ericka Lutz

From Publishers Weekly

Nolte's familiar poem, written in 1954, is the basis for these essays, beginning with "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn." Nolte, a teacher and lecturer on family dynamics, and Harris, a psychotherapist, expound upon the simple truths of the original stanzas, which have been widely distributed. Each short chapter?on jealousy, praise, shame, recognition, tolerance, honesty, etc.?expands upon Nolte's original observations, stressing respect and love as the main ingredients for raising happy and emotionally healthy children. Although the power and impact of the original poem drew greatly from its succintness, some readers may benefit from these explications. The most valuable additions are the few real-life examples, including the tale of a 10-year-old boy who sought and received comfort from his mother after he flubbed a piano recital. While the text veers readily into greeting-card prose, the authors' message?to support and encourage children, to be patient and kind?certainly is hard to dispute. This compact, easily read volume doesn't pack the power of Nolte's popular poem, but it will make an inspiring gift for many parents.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Customer Reviews

I began to read it and could not put it down.
"cjharris_16"
Practical tips on ways to instill the very best of human qualities in your child and give them solid guidelines for successful personhood and relationships.
granna z
The books is easy to read and each chapter has a theme.
ATWTravel

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Matthew Dodd on November 17, 2003
Format: Paperback
This outstanding book is focused on leadership and management for the single most important leadership role, title, or position in life-a parent.
The book is an in-depth exploration of one of my all-time favorite poems that goes by the same title. For readers unfamiliar with Dorothy Law Nolte's 1954 classic poem, it is included in the front of the book along with Nolte's introduction, "The Story of "Children Learn What They Live,"" in which she shares her thought processes and experiences that led to her wonderful creation.
If there were any doubts about the unbelievably powerful influence that parents have on their children, this book will erase any such doubts. I found it a delightful and insightful, easy-to-read book filled with many realistic, common family situations that reflected my own beliefs, experiences, and personal parental goals and expectations. The stories and examples were very effective in helping me to understand and visualize the authors' main points and insights.
The most important theme throughout the book for me was that parents have conscious choices to make when it comes to responding to their children. Often, those choices are between good, helpful, thoughtful, and objective proactive responses, and bad, hurtful, thoughtless, and emotional reactive responses. Children are sponges to their parents' words, emotions, and behaviors.
Just as the old adage says that leaders lead by example, parents parent by example. As a father, reading this book reminded me of the closing to another of my all-time favorite poems, "Little Eyes Upon You:" "You are setting an example/every day in all you do,/For the little boy who's waiting/to grow up to be like you."
This great book should not be read just by parents for raising children, it should be read by everyone for building character and stronger relationships.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful By "cjharris_16" on November 25, 2001
Format: Paperback
I am a second year college student taking Early childhood Education. We had to do a book report and my mother bought me this book. I began to read it and could not put it down. It touched base on all the information that we are taking in class. Every word is so true. I recommended it to my teachers and classmates. The words touched me in a way that i can not describe. When i have chidlren i am going to re-read this book and take notes down, because i know that it will help my parenting skills in so many ways. Already with my nephews i take the information that was in the book and hold it in the back of my mind when dealing with situations. I apply the knowledge in class, in placement, and with chiildren i love dearly. I believe that children are our future and we must support and fosture their learning in every way possible. Every parent should know about this book adn read it, and really think about what is written in it.I have a copy of the poem hanging on my wall and everyday before i go to class or placement i read it, as i think everyone should. The book was a great insparation that i ill forever keep and turn to.
The book along with the poem is great
Cassie
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Loves Amazon on October 7, 2003
Format: Paperback
As a third grade teacher and an expectant mother, I think this book is a great way to begin a parenting philosophy. I was given the poem this book was based on as an undergrad and always wondered how this could be applied to everyday, real life. The brief essay like chapters neatly spell out how to relate the poem's message to raising and understanding children. I agree with other reviewers that not everything is as black and white as the author might have us think, but this book gives a solid basis to raising children in a very confusing time.
I really liked the way the book was set up - in short easy to read chapters (even my husband didn't mind reading it), and I liked the real life examples that every parent can relate to. While I don't believe this book to be the answer to every parenting problem that might arise, I think it gives both new and seasoned parents a wonderful way to shape thier thinking on how to raise healthy and happy children.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 12, 1999
Format: Paperback
Children Learn What They Live is a fantastic book for any parent who truly cares how children feel. Ms. Nolte gives insight to dealing with day-to-day issues of parenting, along with kind ways to help children both learn from mistakes and appreciate their accomplishments. After reading the book from cover to cover the first day, I keep it on my bathroom counter and read a bit every day to remind myself and my husband how important we are to our son's life.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Busy Mom VINE VOICE on July 25, 2006
Format: Paperback
This one is a keeper. I find it inspiring and insightful ~~ and not condemning ~~ just helpful. It is encouraging and wonderfully short so if you're busy and don't have a lot of time to read it, it's perfect for you. It is also a book that you can keep in your library as your kids grow older and then pass it onto them when they start raising their own children.

Parenting isn't easy and sometimes, these parenting books can be overwhelming and can make the reader feel inadequate because there are times when nothing works. This book is a gentle reminder that we aren't alone in our struggles and yes, our behavior does teach our children the things to do or not to do. However, this book also give you insights on what your child might be thinking or feeling and sometimes, offer you practical solutions for your child to put to practice. Life isn't perfect but having stability in the family life is very important as well as parents who try to model thoughtfulness and sincerity in everything they do.

It is a little book but it sure packs a lot of thoughtful insights. I wish I had this book when the boys were in their terrible threes. But now that I have it, I plan to cherish it for as long as I need it and pass it onto their children.

7-25-06
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