Children Learn What They Live [Paperback]

Dorothy Law Nolte Ph.D. (Author), Rachel Harris L.C.S.W. Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 5, 1998

Dorothy Law Nolte, a lifelong teacher and lecturer on family dynamics, presents a simple but powerful guide to parenting the old-fashioned way: instilling values through example. Dr. Nolte-s inspirationó?Children Learn What They Live,O the celebrated poem she wrote in 1954. Written with psychotherapist Rachel Harris, each of the 19 couplets of the poem is developed into a chapteróon jealousy, shame, praise, recognition, honesty, fairness, tolerance, and more. Positive, realistic, filled with a rare common sense, it is a book to help parents find their own parenting wisdom, and to raise children with a surer, steadier, more understanding hand.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Since its publication in 1954, Dorothy Law Nolte's inspirational and educational poem, Children Learn What They Live has been published worldwide, translated into 10 languages, taught in parenting and teaching courses, distributed in doctors offices, and printed on posters and calendars. In Children Learn What They Live: Parenting to Inspire Values, authors Nolte, a teacher and lecturer on family life, and Rachel Harris, Nolte's friend and teaching associate, have taken the classic poem and fleshed it into a small gem of a book. The expanded version maintains the grace and wisdom of the original, yet adds significant insight into the process of encouraging values through example. "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn," begins the poem (and the book), and so Nolte and Harris suggest effective ways to avoid or prevent constant criticism. As a set of guiding principals, as teaching tools, or as gentle reminders, Nolte and Harris's approach to teaching values to children encapsulates the best in parenting wisdom. --Ericka Lutz

From Publishers Weekly

Nolte's familiar poem, written in 1954, is the basis for these essays, beginning with "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn." Nolte, a teacher and lecturer on family dynamics, and Harris, a psychotherapist, expound upon the simple truths of the original stanzas, which have been widely distributed. Each short chapter?on jealousy, praise, shame, recognition, tolerance, honesty, etc.?expands upon Nolte's original observations, stressing respect and love as the main ingredients for raising happy and emotionally healthy children. Although the power and impact of the original poem drew greatly from its succintness, some readers may benefit from these explications. The most valuable additions are the few real-life examples, including the tale of a 10-year-old boy who sought and received comfort from his mother after he flubbed a piano recital. While the text veers readily into greeting-card prose, the authors' message?to support and encourage children, to be patient and kind?certainly is hard to dispute. This compact, easily read volume doesn't pack the power of Nolte's popular poem, but it will make an inspiring gift for many parents.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Workman Publishing Company (January 5, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0761109196
• ISBN-13: 978-0761109198
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #376,747 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #58 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Personal Health > Women's Health > Pregnancy & Childbirth
  • #77 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Nonfiction > Philosophy > Ethics & Morality

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Parental Leadership 101, November 17, 2003

By 

Matthew Dodd (Virginia, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Children Learn What They Live (Paperback)

This outstanding book is focused on leadership and management for the single most important leadership role, title, or position in life-a parent.

The book is an in-depth exploration of one of my all-time favorite poems that goes by the same title. For readers unfamiliar with Dorothy Law Nolte's 1954 classic poem, it is included in the front of the book along with Nolte's introduction, "The Story of "Children Learn What They Live,"" in which she shares her thought processes and experiences that led to her wonderful creation.

If there were any doubts about the unbelievably powerful influence that parents have on their children, this book will erase any such doubts. I found it a delightful and insightful, easy-to-read book filled with many realistic, common family situations that reflected my own beliefs, experiences, and personal parental goals and expectations. The stories and examples were very effective in helping me to understand and visualize the authors' main points and insights.

The most important theme throughout the book for me was that parents have conscious choices to make when it comes to responding to their children. Often, those choices are between good, helpful, thoughtful, and objective proactive responses, and bad, hurtful, thoughtless, and emotional reactive responses. Children are sponges to their parents' words, emotions, and behaviors.

Just as the old adage says that leaders lead by example, parents parent by example. As a father, reading this book reminded me of the closing to another of my all-time favorite poems, "Little Eyes Upon You:" "You are setting an example/every day in all you do,/For the little boy who's waiting/to grow up to be like you."

This great book should not be read just by parents for raising children, it should be read by everyone for building character and stronger relationships.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Children Learn What they Live, November 25, 2001

By 

"cjharris_16" (Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Children Learn What They Live (Paperback)

I am a second year college student taking Early childhood Education. We had to do a book report and my mother bought me this book. I began to read it and could not put it down. It touched base on all the information that we are taking in class. Every word is so true. I recommended it to my teachers and classmates. The words touched me in a way that i can not describe. When i have chidlren i am going to re-read this book and take notes down, because i know that it will help my parenting skills in so many ways. Already with my nephews i take the information that was in the book and hold it in the back of my mind when dealing with situations. I apply the knowledge in class, in placement, and with chiildren i love dearly. I believe that children are our future and we must support and fosture their learning in every way possible. Every parent should know about this book adn read it, and really think about what is written in it.I have a copy of the poem hanging on my wall and everyday before i go to class or placement i read it, as i think everyone should. The book was a great insparation that i ill forever keep and turn to.

The book along with the poem is great

Cassie

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Children Learn What They Live, October 7, 2003

By 

Loves Amazon (Michigan) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Children Learn What They Live (Paperback)

As a third grade teacher and an expectant mother, I think this book is a great way to begin a parenting philosophy. I was given the poem this book was based on as an undergrad and always wondered how this could be applied to everyday, real life. The brief essay like chapters neatly spell out how to relate the poem's message to raising and understanding children. I agree with other reviewers that not everything is as black and white as the author might have us think, but this book gives a solid basis to raising children in a very confusing time.
I really liked the way the book was set up - in short easy to read chapters (even my husband didn't mind reading it), and I liked the real life examples that every parent can relate to. While I don't believe this book to be the answer to every parenting problem that might arise, I think it gives both new and seasoned parents a wonderful way to shape thier thinking on how to raise healthy and happy children.