Children of Open Adoption and Their Families [Paperback]

Kathleen Silber (Author), Patricia Martinez Dorner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 1990

Finally, a book that examines the effects of open adoption on the children. Two pioneers in the field examine scores of open adoption experiences from infancy to adolescence. Among topics covered: bonding, grief, communication, entitlement, and adoption understanding among children.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Silber and Dorner, who have developed and implemented open adoption policies in Texas, here define this unconventional practice as one that "includes the birthparents and adoptive parents meeting one another, sharing full identifying information, and having access to ongoing contact over the years"; they further advocate that the biological parents be considered extended family, like other relatives of the adoptive family. On these terms, suggests this balanced evaluation, adoptees can be spared much of the anguish afflicting those for whom the circumstances of birth remain unknown; birth parents can better cope with their grief and accept their own choice; adoptive parents will almost always be reassured, both because they feel "accepted" by the birth parents and because they better realize that the birth parents will not reverse their decision. Case studies, including letters by involved parties, bolster the authors' practical guidelines as well as their astute analysis of the complex emotions surrounding adoption.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Kathleen Silber was born and reared in Stockton, California, graduated from the University of California at Davis and received her Master's degree in Social Welfare from the University of California at Berkeley. She is nationally known for her pioneering work in open adoption. Kathleen and her husband and two children live in California, where she is Associate Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center in Pleasant Hill.

Patricia M. Dorner has been a vocal proponent of open adoption as well as search and reunion. She graduated from McGill University and received her Master's degree in Counseling from San Francisco State University. Living in San Antonio with her family, she has an adoption-focused private practice incorporating counseling, searching, training and education.

Product Details

• Paperback: 193 pages
• Publisher: Corona Pub Co; 1 edition (February 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0931722780
• ISBN-13: 978-0931722783
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #324,622 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Children of Open Adoption by Silber & Dorner, May 1, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Children of Open Adoption and Their Families (Paperback)

I was reminded of how this book has helped me over the last years when I was browsing the Adoption shelves here. I think it was published about the time we became an adoptive family, which was in 1989. I had read about Open Adoption, where both adoptive parents and birth parents at one extreme know each other's first names, all the way to knowing each other as people and visiting back and forth. We were pretty sure we wanted nothing to do with this scary and threatening idea. But as I read more about adoption, I realized that for the good of my daughter, and believing she had the same right most all of us have, to know who she came from I needed to know more and act on it. So we tried hard to continue to have a relationship with her birthmom after the birth. I wasn't sure the woman even wanted this with us. I got the book because I wanted PROOF it would be OK to let our daughter and her birthmom know each other, spend time together and have a relationship. And that her birthmom would not try to reclaim her (a big fear of adoptive families) and that my daughter wouldn't be confused about who her parents were (it turns out kids are rarely confused--they get it). I was, frankly, threatened. So the book was very instrumental in giving me the strength to go down this path, and 11 1/2 years later I am very thankful for it. My daughter and her birthmom are in contact, and see each other from time to time, which would be more often if we didn't live across the country from each other. The book actually lets you hear from kids in open adoption, in their own words, and you see there is not the trauma, confusion, and craziness you feared would follow. These kids are the pioneers, even though they are just a group of normal kids, and they have shown us the way to a better way of making families through adoption.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully Helpful for Both Birth and Adoptive Parents, October 18, 2002

By 

Soon to be Birth Mom (Ohio United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Children of Open Adoption and Their Families (Paperback)

I am currently pregnant with twin boys that I will be giving up for adoption. I was looking for books to help me and the adoptive parents truly understand open adoption. I LOVE this book! I read through it in only a few days time and now the a-mom is reading it. I recommend this for both sets of parents, it is a GREAT resource!

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The children come first! What a great book!, April 24, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Children of Open Adoption and Their Families (Paperback)

Finally a book that addresses open adoption and how it has affected the children of open adoption. As an open adoption birth mother, I constantly face society's disapproval and their opinion that I am a disposable, unimportant member of the adoption triad! Society and open adoption nay-sayers love to point out that there are no studies on open adoption...and no proof that it might be better for the children than a semi-open or closed adoption. This book is at least a small dent in that claim! Hopefully more books will be written in which the open adoption adoptees can speak for themselves and tell society about their experiences.