Chocolate Lizards: A Novel [Paperback]

Cole Thompson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 5, 2000

When a Harvard-educated aspiring actor loses all of his cash in a poker game, he finds himself stranded in Abilene, Texas. Enter Merle, a hard drinkin', tough talkin', woman lovin' wildcatter who happens to have a job opening. What ensues is a rip-roaring conflagration of unbelievably vibrant characters. In the end, good old Texan gumption wins out, but regardless, Chocolate Lizards is a helluva ride.

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Despite his best efforts to make this a madcap, oil-well-drilling, West Texas romp, Thompson's debut novel is an uneven mix of bad jokes, cowboy cliches and unconvincing characters. Erwin Vandeveer is a movie star wannabe from Boston, a spoiled, naive young Harvard grad who was a failure in Hollywood, and who is now stuck in Abilene, Tex., broke and discouraged. Erwin links up with Merle Luskey, a wacky, drunken Texas oilman who is about to lose his drilling business due to a bank foreclosure. The two unlikely partners have just 30 days to strike oil and save the company. Opposed by a crooked banker and a fat, corrupt, sadistic sheriff, Merle and Erwin embark on a string of harebrained schemes to pay off the bad loans and stay solvent. But Merle is an unpredictable lush who gets both of them into trouble?on the order of burglary, forgery, kidnapping and industrial espionage. Aided by an aging tart named Miss Tex-Ann Big-Love and by goofy, porn-loving old cattle rancher Alton Scheermeyer, Merle and Erwin come up with a plan that just might work. The author presents unflattering and unfunny stereotypes of Texans and Yankees alike. Handsome Erwin is just too hoity-toity for the rough and tumble Texas oil fields, and the Texans here are mainly ignorant, foul-mouthed, whiskey-drinking rednecks. Abandoning its early promise of humor and adventure, this story winds up as flat and dry as West Texas itself.
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

A debut novel recounting a young mans sudden initiation into the real worldvia the oil fields of central Texas. Erwin Vanderveer, like many northeasterners, believes that America is made up of two coasts with nothing terribly interesting in between. A recent Harvard grad who wants to be an actor, Erwin has just spent a profitless year in Hollywood trying to break into the movies. Now hes given up and decided to return home to Boston. Lacking the cash for a plane ticket, he decides to cross the country by buswhich is how he discovers Texas. Unfortunately for Erwin, however, one of his fellow passengers is a card shark who quickly fleeces him of his last dime, stranding him in a rest stop in Abilene. There, he meets Merle Lusky, an oil man who happens to need an extra hand to roughneck on one of his rigs. Merle is like no one Erwin has ever met: Profane and sentimental by turns, he swills whiskey for breakfast and thinks nothing of driving a hundred miles an hour in broad daylight merely to elude the cops. Now, though, the drop in oil prices have hit Merle pretty hard, and the banks are calling in his loans. He stands to lose all six of his rigs unless he can conjure up payback money fast. Merle concocts a scheme to save his skin, but it requires a low profile thats hard to maintain in Abilenes tight-knit oil community. Thats where Erwin comes in. As an outsider, he manages to steal confidential information about oil deposits, and soon Merle has staked a claim to a new field that gushes just in time to satisfy the bank. Erwin heads home as planned but notas he had fearedas a loser. Affable and fun: Thompsons portrayal of an innocent gone (very) far abroad proves irresistibly readable. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (May 5, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312264860
• ISBN-13: 978-0312264864
• Product Dimensions: 0.9 x 0.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,660,745 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great characters, great read!, November 4, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Chocolate Lizards: A Novel (Hardcover)

You'd think the last place a young Harvard educated actor would want to end up - an actor who'd just bombed out in Hollywood and swindled out of his last dime -- is West Texas. Penniless, Erwin Vanderveer, now nicknamed "Harvard" by his new employer and wildcatter extraordinaire, Merle Lusky, plans to make enough money to find his way back to Boston, the place he calls home. He discovers, however, that Merle has different plans for him - to make him his savior from losing his oil business. Even though the task seems impossible for him, Harvard accepts the offer mainly because the money is too good to turn down. Overwhelmed by the culture and dialect, which the author portrays creatively and possibly authentically, Harvard develops an affinity for his new friends, especially when Merle presents a gift to him, a pair of brown lizard skin boots, or "Chocolate Lizards," as Merle calls them. Fascinated with the boots and his new friends, Harvard sets out to help Merle accomplish his dream, not knowing what is in store for himself. Not a literary masterpiece by any means, but a tremendously entertaining book, with a laugh out loud kind of allure and first-rate characterization. CHOCOLATE LIZARDS will keep you in stitches to the final word.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Pulitzer Prize lock, February 15, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Chocolate Lizards: A Novel (Hardcover)

Future Pulitzer Prize winner Cole Thompson is unequalled when it comes to creating incredibly eccentric and entertaining characters that are still completely believable. A great, can't put it down, don't want to ever get to the last page, just don't want it to end story, with great characters, dialogue and events...all the stuff I can't get enough of and come back for with tongue wagging. It's a FICTIONAL STORY and a fantastic one, to boot! Give us some more, Cole ! If Chocolate Lizards was required reading in school, (like Romeo and Juliet), the library couldn't print cards fast enough for students coming back for more Cole Thompson. The book is that good. It is the best I have ever read, and I have read quite a few. If you plan to build your own book collection, this should be the first hardback to buy and keep in a special place Although I read and enjoy a wide range of subjects I am very picky about the books I choose to buy. I read the introduction and all the hype, however if it has Cole Thompson's name on the cover, that's all I need to see. What a story teller. He reaches into Texas history and breathes life into his characters. Of all the authors who write about Texans, Thompson is the only one I've read that gets it right. He captured the spirit of West Texas(a different state from East Texas and a different country from the other states.) and that was quite an accomplishment. In fact, most of the people who were enamored with the book were probably enamored with this spirt. It has rarely been captured in print or on film. It is beautiful and wild. The characters are stunningly real. Don't stop with Chocolate Lizards! I can't wait for the movie!

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book SLAYS me!, October 22, 2005

By 

elviswoman (Dallas, TX United States) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Chocolate Lizards: A Novel (Paperback)

Cole Thompson is such a talented writer. I swear I was right there with Merle and Erwin throughout their crazy adventures together. I have read this book about 600 times and I still go into convulsive laughter each time I read it.