Customer Reviews

Is It a Choice? - 2nd edition: Answers to 300 of the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gays and Lesbian People

5 star:		(23)
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3 star:		(2)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is a wonderful book written on an older teen to adult level; it's not just for lesbigays but should be required reading for all straight people, too, because we live in an extremely homophobic society. This book cuts through the bigotry, myths and lies, and answers 300 questions about being lesbigay honestly and simply. To those who are already familiar with lesbigays, some of the questions might seen terribly basic, but for those who are new to homosexual concerns, this book gives you answers to questions you might have been too prejudiced, afraid or too shy to ask. If you find that your child, student or friend is lesbigay, this is the first book you should turn to for those basic questions you might have. It will help you get over that first speed bump and you will have a much clearer idea about what homosexuality really is--a normal expression of a human being's sexuality. If you think that gays are the castoffs of society, boy, do you have a lot to learn, and it is never too late to do so. This book also has a terrific list of resources at the end, about where to look for further information and help.

Another good book on the same subject is Eric Marcus's book called "What If Someone I Know is Gay?" This book is similar to "Is It a Choice?", but is scaled to a 6-10th grade reading level. Older teens would probably prefer "Is It a Choice?" But for younger kids with questions "What If Someone I Know is Gay?" is fantastic.

I urge those of you--teachers, parents, grandparents, relatives, friends, teachers, ministers and counselors--who wish to learn the TRUTH about lesbigays--to buy this book as a basic part of your library. I am a volunteer church librarian and I will donate these two books to our church library as well as several others. It is never too late to learn to leave your prejudices behind. This book is a special life-saver for students who are discovering their sexual identities. READ THIS BOOK!

This is an excellent book for all people, not just gay people, written on a young adult to adult level. (Marcus has a similar book written for teens called What If Someone I know is Gay?, also excellent.) Gayness can happen in the nicest families. So how do you deal with the dichotomy you see between that simple fact and the raging homphobia you see around you every day? Read this book for a start and learn what gayness really is, and what it is all about. If you arm yourself with the truth you will have a much easier time understanding this issue. Woouldn't you rather know the truth than stumble about in ignorance?
This book is a godsend--no preaching, no moral judgments--just the simple facts which are so often denigrated as the "gay agenda" by anti-gay hate groups like Focus on the Family.
If you want to learn the facts about being a potter, you go to a potter and ask questions. If you want to know about baking bread, you do not go to the potter. You go to a baker. If you want to learn what it is like to be a firefighter, you go to the firehouse and ask for information, an hear what it is like to do it for a living. Similarly, if you want the true facts about gayness you have to go to the source--gay people themselves. As a Christian, I know that you cannot believe in fundamentalist Christian organizations that spout love and family values on one hand, and then turn around and spend millions of dollars a year in anti-gay hate campaigns.
This book is an excellent one to read if you are GLBT, if you are a relative, parent, friend or coworker of a GLBT person, if you fear gay people, and if you want the truthful facts without all the moral claptrap our society imposes. It explodes all the myths and lies about gayness. It also has an absolutely excellent appendix listing all sorts of web sites for human rights organizations, gay support and informational groups, and religious grassroots organizations within specific religious faiths that advocate equal rights, inclusiveness and affirmation for GLBT members of their congregations and communities. This was very helpful because I found the organization for my particular denomination, and have made use of it.
The book is so good that I wrote Eric Marcus telling him how much the book helped me understand this issue. I bought a copy and donated it to our church library, and have sent copies to other people who need it. Thank you, Eric for a terrific book, and God bless you in your efforts to educate the public. As long as one person remains in chains, none of us are free.

I bought this book shortly after it was released and read it cover to cover in about 3 hours over a few cups of coffee at Starbucks:) Ok, it was a lot of cups of coffee but certainly time well spent over a book that everyone should at least get educated with. It's a fairly easy read, like I said, I read it in 3 hours! Having gay friends and family myself, I learned quite a bit of info from all of this. When I passed it on to one of my lesbian friends who was struggling with coming out, she told me after reading, it was "the catalyst" that prompted her to come out to her mom and dad. I guess the writing is on the wall-well, at least in this book it is! What's unique about this book is that it tell things in a very sensible and respectable format. From gay people in the military (I know a lot of em and I love you all!!) to gays and christianity to same sex partnerships/marriages, gays in the workplace, gays in their communities...the list goes on! This book answers so many of these questions with conviction and straightforward enthusiasm. This is the kind of book that is essential reading for anyone but especially those in human resources, church leadership, ANYONE IN THE MILITARY and anyone who has a close friend or loved one who is gay. Click that order button and educate yourself, learn not to hate and read something else other than a ancient book that was written by a bunch of manipulative scribes that called themselves "annointed."

I found this book absolutely amazeing and helpful. I've looked at other books in the past and they will cover parenting or dating or occasionally religion but I have never found a book quite like this that covers everything. It answers questions about stuff that many homosexuals wonder about, and many of the stuff heterosexuals wonder about. It covers misconceptions of both sides, not just heterosexual misconseptions but also many misconceptions homosexuals have about heterosexuals. Its fantastic. I plan to suggest this book to my school's Gay/Straight Alliance Advisor so we might use it as a topic of discussion or just plain use it at our meetings. It is so full of great information and good examples that I don't think it gets any better for helping people, all people understand.

This is the third edition of Eric Marcus' "IS IT A CHOICE: Answers to the Most Frequently Asked Questions About Gay and Lesbian People" and in revising his original 1990s publication he has added some welcome, warm humor and finer perspective, features that make this little book an invaluable help to individual, families and friends who are experiencing discovery of someone 'coming out of the closet'.

Much has changed in the past decade toward wider public understanding of gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual people: important films with major stars portraying gay people in positive light; popular television shows such as 'Will and Grace', 'The L Word', 'Queer as Folk', 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy'; spokesmen and comedians/comediennes like Ellen DeGenneres, Margaret Cho, Kate Clinton etc; important novelists such as Colm Toibin, Michael Cunningham, Jeffrey Eugenides - all of these have opened doors to the public to examine gay life and its spectrum. But when the encounter becomes personal, there are still the myriad questions that many are simply afraid to ask.

Marcus tackles these embarrassing questions head on and with a fine sense of healthy normalcy. Questions range from the tough ones (what makes people gay - is it illness, can it be cured, how do you tell, what are the indicators?) to the often heard but silly ones as to whether all gay men love opera and hate sports and do all lesbians want to appear to be men, et cetera ad infinitum. Yes, to some the questions seem superficial - and thank goodness at last they do! But to others less informed and more threatened by the notion of gay life this book is most helpful. No preaching or politicking here, just common sense approaches to quasi-delicate issues.

Would that school libraries would stock this book on shelves for those students who are coping with 'gay' either within themselves or with barely closeted friends. And for husbands and wives who discover their spouses are lesbian or gay, mothers and fathers who don't have a clue how to broach the subject with their suspected child. Marcus has a terrific sense of humor and writes well, but he also is a committed 'sociologist' who has taken the time to provide not only answers to the obvious questions, but also provides richly detailed resources in the appendices of this book that serve as further information and support guides.

And other than that, this is also a fun book to read - no matter your inclination! Highly recommended. Grady Harp, September 05

I'm in a very small, very conservative town in the heart of the bible belt. There is more hatred in this type of town than in all of the big city I grew up in. Being comfortable with my lesbianism, I thought this town would be fine... but quickly learned people can ask pointed questions that I can't come up with the answers for that fast. This book answers them all. I reread parts of it regularly, because I keep finding myself using its logic and frankness all the time. It isn't biased one way or another, and doesn't seem to put anyone on the defensive. When I came out to my own parents, I gave them a copy of it, and they really appreciated it. My mother said she thought it had been written just for her. I heartily recommend it to anyone who has questions about their own sexuality or that of a friend or relative, or wants to be able to answer the questions others ask.

"Is It a Choice" should be required reading for every gay person. The questions are both timely and thought provoking. The answers are thorough and accurate. You may think you know it all, but you soon find out that there's so much more to know. Eric Marcus is truly an excellent writer. I wouldn't want anyone else to have written this book; that's how brilliant, and gifted the author is. "Is It a Choice" is more than simply a question and answer book. It is primer on homosexuality. I highly recommend it to anyone. Take a look at his other works, they're fantastic!

As a member of a college gay-straight alliance, I have been asked a range of questions about my lifestyle and issues relating to it. I bought "Is it a Choice?" because I wanted to add some authority to my answers. What I found instead was a reversal of roles: instead of answering the questions myself, I discovered that I was asking the questions, and Eric Marcus was giving me his opinion. It was like sitting down in a den and interviewing the author over a cup of coffee. I think everyone, no matter how versed they may be in gay issues, can benefit from this book.

An updated version of his earlier original, Eric Marcus provides the answers to all the questions that an emerging gay or lesbian and his or her family, friends, and cohorts may have. From definitions to questions on sex to THE single best rebuttal of the religious right, this is a book that every GLB should have on hand.

This book is an excellent resource book for anyone who feels like they might be gay, knows someone who is gay or are just curious about the homosexual lifestyle. Written in a simple style that anyone can understand, Mr. Marcus confronts the many questions that people have about homosexuality as well as dispelling myths that surround alternative lifestyles. If you have a question, more than likely, you'll find it in this book. Divided into sections the books discusses such topics as gays in the military, sexual practice of homosexuals, dating, marriage and more than many people may not understand about this sexual orientation. If you have a loved one that is gay, if you are confused about your own orientation, or if you are just curious, this book will give you answers to many of the questions you have. A good resource for parents, teachers, etc., that deal with teenagers wondering about their sexuality.