Customer Reviews

Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Choices is a series of short essays, each two or three pages long, each illustrating a point the author wants to make. Some are New Age-y: A woman closing her business is surprised when someone says, "I feel that I should speak to you..." Others are more straightforward and down-to-earth.

I couldn't relate to all -- even most -- of the stories here. If you haven't had the experience, the story is meaningless. Several involve getting tough about relationships.

Two essays were especially powerful: "She saw a monster in her bedroom" is about a woman who realizes she must leave to escape a "monster" husband -- at age seventy-one. Beattie concludes, "It's hard to be a newcomer at anything."

"He had to backtrack" is the story of a young delinquent who turns his life around after a gifted counselor roots out long-buried feelings.

I see each episode as a turning point rather than a choice: each time the protagonist hit bottom, his or her life changed. It's not always about choices: the delinquent doesn't face a crossroads.

I'd probably recommend this book to clients whose lives felt out of control, who wanted role models and examples of taking charge, or who wanted to understand the concept of change.

One negative: Each chapter ends with a small lesson that could be omitted. It's overkill. The book's power comes from the stories and the way Beattie tells them. The lessons themselves are not particularly new or original. Leave them out.

Like Billy Pilgrim, the protagonist in Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five, Melody Beattie has come unstuck in time. When Billy Pilgrim ceases to experience his life in chronological order, he learns from the invisible inhabitants of the planet Trafalmadore that life is a collection of moments, and that our job is to concentrate on the good ones and try to ignore the bad.

Melody Beattie is wiser than a Trafalmadorian. With Choices, she takes us on a journey, skipping from one moment to the next, in her own life and the lives of many others. And whether the moment is about celebrating a victory, dealing with a child's death, jumping out of an airplane, taking a horseback riding lesson, or simply being indecisive, Melody will convince you that every moment is important, and that every moment holds the potential for choice.

As a psychotherapist and author (Embracing Fear, HarperSanFrancisco 2002) I frequently emphasize to clients and readers that there is an important difference between being "in control," and being "in charge." Melody's new book is a wonderful collection of lessons about how to be in charge even when we seemingly control nothing.

These lessons are not really unstuck in time; they transend time. They are timeless, and well worth reading.

I'm a big fan of Melody Beattie's "thought for the day" type books, so this was disappointing. It was a quick read and fundamentally great words for better "choices". It repeated itself ALOT. But, of course some of us need to be reminded over and over....

This is a book of short essays written for the average person who doesn't care or simply doesn't know the psycho-babble terms written by professionals that only other professionals can comprehend.
No matter what your life experiences or level of education there simply has to be a short story that hits home . I have read many books on relationships,psychology etc, and this book is just great.
For someone just getting started in self help and rebuilding
relationships and personal growth this is a great book.

A series of short chapters, most of them just three or four pages, gives us meditational gems in Melody Beatty's characteristic warm, fearless and personal style. Each one is the personal story of a real person whose experience illuminates a facet of a learning experience. One of my favorites is her account of her visit to the dying Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, herself a pioneer in the understanding of humane death. In just a few words, she paints an unforgettable picture of a life well lived. The author's immediate and engaging persona shines through, like a trusted friend, telling us that if we keep moving on our path, no matter what the obstacles, all will be well.

I had high hopes for this book because of the popularity of the author but I found it to be hard to follow and scattered. There is little cohesion to keep the reader's interest.

This book helped me in a time in my life when I went through alot of changes. I highly recommend.

Nice stories that relate to a positive and out of the box view of looking at things. Shows how attitude is everything and is important in our lives.

Melody Beattie has chosen the narrative approach in this self-help book, instead of a direct counseling approach. She describes many real life situations and then helps the reader find where a choice was made. This allows the reader to identify with situations which they have experienced and perhaps not seen where a choice seemed possible.
The book is a great follow-on to her earlier, more direct book: Co-Dependent No More.