Customer Reviews

10 Bad Choices That Ruin Black Women's Lives

5 star:		(27)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

First off, if I could give this book 0 stars, I would. Second, notice the title refers to the things black women do to mess up their lives, but all TEN mistakes are about relationships. Last I checked, women make a whooooole lot of mistakes than just sleeping with other people's men. Oops! I forgot - all black women are out to do is get rich, black husbands.

Also, there is NOTHING in this book that solely relates to black women. This easily could've been written by a woman of any race, directed to an audience of any race. The only thing Dr. Cornish mentioned that's even remotely ethnic-related was skin color, the light versus dark angle. But guess what - replace "light" and "dark" with "skinny" and "fat" and you're right back to the issues that ALL of us face as women. Is this woman honestly trying to tell us that only BLACK women sleep with married men, or sleep with men too soon, or rush into marriage too early? Please. Cornish touches very briefly on the issues of interracial relationships as well a VERY short mention on bisexual men. The way she was able to cram in so much homophobia on just a couple of short pages is a talent, indeed. As for white men, I'll spoil it for you - if the relationship the woman is having during of Cornish's little stories is ANYTHING but a black man, the dude is evil.

My problem isn't with the poor writing, the constant mention of her other book, or the repeated mentions of her TV show, the HORRIBLY annoying rhyming titles that are on EVERY...FRIGGING...PAGE, or the fact that Dr. Cornish doesn't even bother to discuss WHY some women act as they do (the only childhood trauma she touches on is her own), or the fact that some single woman is trying to tell other single women how to have successful relationships. (What's next? Is Oprah going to write a book about parenting?) My problem is her writing a general relationship advice book with was full of nothing but "no DUH" kind of so-called tips (don't sleep with a married man? WHOA, NO KIDDING!) and then pushing it off as a book solely for women of color. By painting us as a bunch of needy, gold-digging, colorstruck idiots, Dr. Cornish is no better than the TV producer she berates so heavily in the first chapter.

I picked this book up after a friend suggested I read it. I read a chapter a day until I finished the book. Dr. Cornish compiled some things we as black women tend to do (she even admitted making some of the same bad choices) outlines the problems, and offers wonderful suggestion to help us STOP making the same bad choices. Bottom line is you have to be willing to hold yourself accountable and admit you are making these mistakes, and be willing to stop them. She will tug at your heart when she discusses the deaths of her mother and Aunt to men, and discusses how their bad choices played a role in their deaths. Six out of every black woman are either in bad relationships, share a man or choose to be celibate. Are you one of those six women? I also feel this book is not just for black women. I think any woman can read this book and find something in this book they can use to help them make wiser life choices.

In this book she will discuss:

1. Sisters Dissin Sisters ?
I wish every black woman would read this chapter!!! It's time for the madness to stop!!! We need to stop talking about each other, and really learn to love our fellow sisters.

2. No Money, No Honey
3. Exchanging Sexual dealings for loving
4. Looking for Mr. Right in the Wrong Places
5. Using your finance to maintain his romance
6. Staying on, although the respect is gone
7. Loving the "Married Bachelor"
8. Emotional dependency, plus unplanned pregnancy
9. decent proposal/Indecent disposal
10. Getting to the Church before time

One or more of these chapters will wake you up and make you take stock of your life. Take stock of the choices you have made, and hopefully you will make better choices in the future. This is an excellent book!!!

This is a wonderful book for any African-American woman who has dealt with abusive and rocky relationships with black men.

After the author discuss various senarios, at the end of the book she wonderfully points out that we should not go through excessive changes to get men in high places. We need to love ourselves first, and then everything else will fall in place. In God's time.

With a lot of self-love, we can become women of high achievement, on our own! On our own merit! Scary, but I know it to be true. I was once one of the sisters outlined in this author's book. I had the have the man with the BIG JOB, the BIG CAR, the BIG BANK ROLL, ETC. I learned the hard way, instead, of basking in someone else's spotlight create your own! The author brought this point out thorougly.

I never met the author, but it was like my best girl friend was speaking to me. I will definitely recommend this book to my sister-friends, nieces, and other women. I will also buy this author's next book! Actually, I look forward to its publishing.

One last thing, this author lost her mom at an early age through the hands of her mother's abusive boyfriend. She actually witnessed her mother's murder. Through time and her father's love, she made it through. Just think, that alone should be encouragement for us all. This is a strong sister, a survivor! YOU GO GIRL!!

Your sister-friend,

MaryAnn Jackson, San Diego, CA

I didn't write a review for this book initially, but now I will. I am first sorry that some ladies didn't care for this book. Perhaps she got the examples from the various talk shows she has done in the past, but to be honest, I don't feel that there is nothing we will never know enough of, and this book as well as her sequel to this book is one of the best there is. Of course, we may tend to feel that we know what we need to know to make it in this journey call life, but I feel there is always something out there to know and understand. Now, I read about Claudette and how her husband said he wanted a divorce temporarily so he can get his citizenship, and then he would remarry her??? Now, that just floored me. I wished Dr. Cornish had some more feedback on her, To me, he wasn't coming back.Ever. I don't feel this book is for just the young ladies, some of us "mature" ladies need it too. Don't diss the book, be glad that this woman want to educate her fellow sisters and make them better for the journey. If you feel that you can't use the book, then for goodness sake, get the book for someone you know who could use it, like that younger sister or friend who may need it. And don't call it a novel. This is a non fiction book to inform and empower. We are not getting entertained here. I put this book in my list of books the sisters(or any woman) should use on her journey called life and I feel that it is a useful guide. Don't discount it.

When I picked up this book, I actually thought I would learn something. Instead, I learned absolutely nothing. This book should not be directed to all black women. The situations Ms. Cornish describes are things that young naive women would do. I actually laughed at some of these situations. For example, purposely getting pregnant as a way to keep a man. Of course, there are going to be bad consequences to that. Most of the choices these women made that Ms. Cornish describe are not bad choices, they're just dumb choices that could have been avoided if they used their common sense.

WELL LET ME BEGIN BY SAYING THAT THIS BOOK HAS CONFIRMED SO MANY THINGS THAT MY PASTOR HAS SAD MANY TIMES BEFORE...YOU MUST FIRST LOVE YOURSELF..WHILE READING THE BOOK, IT FELT AS THOUGH DR. CORNISH WAS TALKING DIRECTLY AT ME. ALTHOUGH I HAVEN'T EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING THE BOOK DISCUSSED, THE THINGS THAT DID REALTE TO ME WAS RIGHT ON...I WILL BE 24 IN DECEMBER AND I HAVE ALREADY BEEN MARRIED AND DIVORCED AND NOW I AM LIVING MY LIFE AS A SINGLE PARENT AND I THANK GOD FOR GUIDING ME IN THE BOOK STORE TO PURCHASE THIS BOOK...I HONESTLY BELIEVE IF YOU HAVE FAITH IN GOD AND BELIEVE IN HIM FOR ALL THINGS YOU WILL HAVE WHAT YOU ASKED FOR...DR. CORNISH, I THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME FEEL MORE RADIANT ABOUT MYSELF. I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO BOTH MALE AND FEMALE..WE CAN LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER IF WE WOULD TAKE HEED TO WHAT SHE IS SAYING...AGAIN I THANK YOU FOR THE "COUNSELING SESSION".

Sorry ladies, I picked up this book expecting some hard hitting advice about building stronger male-female relationships, but instead received talk-show psychologist advice that dealt with issues that are common-sense to most of us. Dr. Cornish uses examples from her stints on the round of talk shows she consults for ("Ricki Lake"), that basically informed us not to get involved with married men, and to get out of a relationship once it turns abusive. I just didn't find anything particularly unique or inspirational in this book, but maybe it would be a good read for young girls who don't have the benefit of an older woman to offer practical relationship advice.

My sister called me from California and told me to read this book. At first I was kind of hesitant because I don't care for books on relationships, so I picked it up the same day and began reading and I'm glad I did. It was great! Grace Cornish is a bad sister and she knows her stuff. Reading the experiences of what black sisters have gone thru to keep marriages and relationships together was shocking and sad, but with each story, Dr. Cornish gave great advice. I myself married young and experienced a cheating husband with outside children, boy, I wish I had access to this book then, but being a strong black woman I endured many years of heartache and pain until I decided that I needed to love myself first, and that was a start to a new beginning and I've been happy ever since. This book is definitely a must read!!!! for all black women!!!!!!!!

Excellent Observations

This is one of the best self-help books I've read in a long time. I like the fact the case studies relate to all women who have experienced certain relationships with men who were not right for them. Another thing I liked about this book is that the language is simple. Who has the time to hunt down the meaning of a word,while reading a page turner. I believe it would be a good idea that all women of color buy a copy of this book and read it. I was truly amazed at some of the ages of the women in these case studies.

I wish I would have had this book when I was 20 years old. I could have saved myself much grief. This book is a great read to keep on your shelf and to re-read. Props to Dr. Cornish.

vhodge

I only wish this book was around 20 years ago. After reading this book I now really understand why life choices are so important. This book is a reality check and will definitely put you on the right track to receive joy and happiness in life. God bless you Dr.Cornish for telling the real truth about women making positive decisions for happy healthy lives that will benefit our families and our communities. This is the best book I have read in years!