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Choke on Your Lies [Kindle Edition]

Anthony Neil Smith
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $2.99
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Book Description

A new novel by the author of PSYCHOSOMATIC, YELLOW MEDICINE, and HOGDOGGIN'. Smith presents his homage to one of his favorite detectives, Nero Wolfe, but written for the "internet porn" generation.

Octavia VanderPlatts is wealthy, powerful, and "comfortable with her weight"--or to hear her say it, a "rich fat b****." Her IQ is at the genius level, and she uses it to manipulate and frighten anyone who tries to get in her way. She controls an empire built on discrimination lawsuits won against some of the nation's top companies. On top of that, Octavia doesn't care one wink what people think of her.

So when she offers her old friend poetry professor Mick Thooft some help in his impending divorce, he smells an ulterior motive. Maybe because Frances didn't invite Octavia to the wedding for fear of her clearing the buffet. Not only does Octavia want to help, but she's got evidence--plenty of scandalous photos. That's not Mick's style, so he turns her down flat...until he discovers that Fran's trying to take their home based on a near-perfect forgery of his signature. After that he and Octavia charge forward, but soon find they're in deeper than they realized--robot pens, swinger clubs, and a blackmail scheme that holds an entire college faculty hostage.

Just when Mick and Octavia are on the cusp of victory, it all goes terribly wrong. Mick is framed for murder and someone targets Octavia's immense wealth and secret backyard greenhouse full of exotic marijuana. With no one on their side except Octavia's butler Jennings, her new personal chef Harriet, and their "Amazon Warrior" lawyer Pamela, Octavia and Mick must find a way to turn the tables before they end up broke, humiliated, and in prison.

Product Details

  • File Size: 473 KB
  • Print Length: 255 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004K1F96A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #300,892 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
If you like twisted stories that will haunt you long after you read them, this is for you. Smith had hit home runs before, but this is a Grand Slam. Choke On Your Lies will channel your inner darkness and get under your skin. It's sad, beautiful and it has a see-through honesty about human nature. I was angry, hurt, hopeful and sadistic all at once. I haven't been intellectually and emotionally dragged into a novel like I was into Choke On Your Lies for many years. It's dark, visceral and it's a stunning masterpiece.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent tale about betrayal, mystery and sex! August 23, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
So, by now, you've digested that book cover and made an assumption based solely on it. Am I right? I am aren't I...well, semi naked women aside, 'Choke On Your Lies' is more than just a cover. It's a great read with some excellently written characters and delicious prose.

Centring on Mick, a pathetic and betrayed husband, (as well as Octavia...but we'll get to her) whose poetry career is best left to history, 'Choke On Your Lies' is a tale of revenge and mystery, which owes more to characterisation than break-neck speedy plot. It unfolds in a well structured way, excellently plotted by Anthony Neil Smith.

The character of Octavia, is a particular delight. She works perfectly as Mick's foil, mean, bitter, you wouldn't want to be a Vegan and work for her. She's a tough spirited, witty and loyal person to have on your side. An excellently drawn character, which really shows off Anthony Neil Smith's talent for description. I dearly want to read more stories containing Octavia. A quite remarkable creation.

Anthony Neil Smith's writing is at its best here. Describing someone as overweight by saying "redefining the space required of an individual", is just one example of Smith's wickedly witty writing style. It's chocked full of nasty characters in horrible situations doing terrible things. It's fantastically rich, with a sense of dark and dirty about it. Full of twists and increasingly sordid happenings, it's not for the faint hearted.

'Choke On Your Lies' isn't a page turning thriller, it's a journey into the depraved world which exists beneath the surface of modern life. It's a tale of betrayal, mystery and sex. It's a tale about people, with some spectacular supporting cast members in this story. It's a great read, which you will soak up in a few sittings.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thin may be in, but fat is where it's at. July 29, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
I enjoyed the hell out of this book. There really isn't a likeable character in the bunch, but they are all GREAT characters, which, to me, is the strength of the book. Octavia just may be one of the best characters I've read this year, if not in the last couple. Just fantastic. Highly recommended.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Strong characters drive a mean plot. February 9, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
If you're expecting nice people doing nice things, go find another book. Choke on Your Lies is full of mean characters doing mean things for inordinately selfish reasons. So it's right up my cup of tea. While not a perfect book, every time the story starts to drag, one of the characters (usually Octavia VanderPlatts, who I will say was one of the meanest women I've ever read) does something to spur it forward.

I thought the second part of the book stumbled a little after the brilliance of the first, this is one of those books that's a steal at twice the price. If you're looking for mean and nasty in a book and want something you can't put down, there are few choices better. Highly recommended.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Anthony Neil Smith set his best book yet in one of the country's best known cesspools of corruption and wickedness: academia. There's enough viciousness, backstabbing and sexual depravity among Smith's small-college faculty to make Caligula look like an episode of the Little Rascals.
The last decent man in this pit of vipers is Mick Thooft, a good guy but, apparently, a wretchedly bad poet. When Mick discovers his wife's infidelity and her attempt to defraud him out of the marital home, he turns to his friend Octavia, a big woman with a bigger intellect and a capacity for malice that dwarfs both. Octavia pronounces "let's punish the bitch," and proceeds to use her considerable wealth to make that happen. But even Octavia's sheer meanness may not be a match for the evil mind of the antagonist pulling the strings.
Smith pulls off one of the hardest tricks in all of writing: he fascinates you with characters who, for the most part, are completely unlikable. Mick's such a wimp you just want to pick him up and shake him, the only sane reaction to Octavia would be to flee from her screaming in terror, and the rest of the cast (with only a couple of minor exceptions) range from slightly creepy to downright demonic. And yet, you can't look away.

Great book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Apple for the Flawed Protagonist February 19, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
CHOKE ON YOUR LIES is not Jack Armstrong the All-American Boy, nor is it Henry Aldrich. (Does anybody even remember either of them?) This brilliant novel opens with a 340-pound woman counseling revenge. The candid photos she shows our hero of his wife's sexual betrayals bring on an instant and craven case of the divorce crazies. What emerges is a rogue's tale that's well worth buying. I haven't read a book so funny and yet so to-the-bone since Richard Russo's STRAIGHT MAN or Michael Chabon's WONDER BOYS. Russo's and Chabon's books come to mind because both they and CHOKE ON YOUR LIES deal with an English professor suffering a midlife crisis. CHOKE ON YOUR LIES is by far the edgiest of the three. Smith has a pitch-perfect ear for dialogue, a sardonic sense of humor that comes across with every turn of phrase, and characters so vivid we lie awake at night worrying what they might be teaching our children.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars sanctimonious porn
Just sooooo bad! Frightful waste of time. Bad enough that panning it isn't helping recover from the indignity of trying to slog through it.
Published 2 months ago by Robert W. Osborn
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read
Thought this was a great read. The characters immediately reninded me of "A Confederacy of Dunces", and the story kept me amused from cover to cover.
Published 17 months ago by Graham Spink
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting characters - not a happy read
I picked up this story because Amazon kept recommending it to me based on books I've read in the past. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Dave Edmiston
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!!
This was an awesome book I couldn't put it down...I read it in just one day because of that reason !! Read more
Published 19 months ago by JustJamie
4.0 out of 5 stars Great story!
Great story!!!! I love Octavia!!! Had to keep reading to see what she would do next! Would never want to be on her bad side!
Published 20 months ago by Nathalie Zannini
4.0 out of 5 stars Female nw
Yah it's a tribute and parody of Nero Wolfe. But wait there's more. Sex and swingers intrigue and academics. Perhaps overall could be shortened a bit hut good enough.
Published 20 months ago by Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars 2 Books in One! And Lots of Meandering.
Smith is a fabulous writer, but in CHOKE ON YOUR LIES, he tries to do too many things at the same time. Read more
Published 20 months ago by James Mowry
4.0 out of 5 stars Creepy Justice
Excellent book from the underappreciated Smith. This homage to Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe books shouldn't go missed for fans of that series - though Smith does take a darker path. Read more
Published 21 months ago by Jim Gavin
3.0 out of 5 stars Not one of my favs
Mick Thooft is an intellectual snob grinding away in academia as an unsuccessful poet. He's clueless, gutless & finds himself cuckholded amidst blackmail, a sex club & a... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Tomereader
3.0 out of 5 stars a god read
This book by Smith is one that is very interesting. A marriage gone sour, a husband willing to give everything up and then changing and a lawyer from hell. Read more
Published on June 8, 2012 by J. Robert Ewbank
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More About the Author

I write crime novels. PSYCHOSOMATIC, THE DRUMMER, plus the Billy Lafitte series--YELLOW MEDICINE, HOGDOGGIN', and THE BADDEST ASS--and the Mustafa & Adem series--ALL THE YOUNG WARRIORS and ONCE A WARRIOR.

My e-original CHOKE ON YOUR LIES was published in January 2011.

My entry in Lee Goldberg and William Rabkin's DEAD MAN series, COLDER THAN HELL, was published by 47North in January, '13.

I'm the Chair of the English Department at Southwest Minnesota State University.

I like tacos. I like red wine. Usually cheap red wine.

Check out my website at
Follow me on Twitter: @Prof_Neil_Smith

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