Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.
Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide? Hardcover – December 10, 2003
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
If you’re the author, publisher, or rights holder of this book, let ACX help you produce the audiobook.Learn more.
Top Customer Reviews
My apprehension about this book stems from its misapplication that I've already observed in some of my peers. As a 29-year-old, I'll be quite frank in declaring that the potential plague of my generation is not workaholism but sloth. I see a generation of my peers who were raised in a world of entertainment and pleasure, who get into the working world and try to find ways to be uncommitted, lazy, irresponsible employees so they can spend their time and money buying and playing with their toys. Within that context, I've seen young singles use the "Choosing to Cheat" concept to avoid hard work, cheat their employers, and invest their energies in self-gratification. This obviously misses Stanley's whole point, but I've seen it happen.
My critique is not so much about the book, then, but about the intended audience. For the 40+ generation who maybe struggles more with the dangers of workaholism, I think this book could be perfect. It's certainly a challenging and interesting book to read. But I won't be sending this to my twenty-something friends, who instead need a book that challenges us to work hard in whatever we do as a means to glorify God.
"Choosing to Cheat" is built on the premise that everyone cheats somewhere - there aren't enough hours for everything. Tragically, it's easier to cheat our families than than to cheat at work. Andy not only tells us why we should cheat at work; he also tells us how. Ironically, cheating at work can make us more productive.
I needed to read this message again, because it's always easy to return to old habits. Highly recommended.
Do you pledge allegiance to your boss? Andy Stanley says that "your Creator does not define your life by your career achievements or the neatness of your pantry." Writing to both stay-at-home parents and spouses in the workplace, Stanley says you must cheat on your work if you're going to win at home. (Read the book for his definition on "cheating.") He once admonished a struggling fast track executive, "the problem is, you love your family in your heart, but you don't love them in your schedule. And they can't see your heart."
When you read this book, you'll never, ever think of Daniel without recalling Stanley's commentary. "Daniel's choice of diet was an indication of where he placed his loyalty. For us, the chief indicator is time. Daniel's loyalty was tested by what he ate. Ours is tested by what we put on our calendars. Where you spend your time is an indication of where your loyalties lie. In effect, you pledge your allegiance to the person or thing that receives your time."
There are lots of books on balancing work and family. This one is different. It's not a guilt trip. Instead, it's a simple, thoughtful, Christ-centered process to help couples dig deep and ask themselves two or three really tough questions.
Stanley adds, "No where in Scripture are you commanded to lay down your life for your stock options. Or to love your career like Christ loved the church. We are instructed to do our jobs and love our families (see Colossians 3:23). When you love your job and do your family, you've not only stepped outside the bounds of family life, you have stepped outside the will of God."
I read it in two days. Andy Stanley is an accomplished writer and I have a feeling it comes naturally. I am not suggesting he does not put a lot of work into his writing, but only that he may not have spent hours studying and taking courses on how to be a top-notch writer. I’m sure that’s something I’ll ask him if we ever meet.
Choosing To Cheat surprises its readers in two ways. First, sorry to disappoint you – it’s really not about having a romantic affair, not directly anyway. Secondly, Stanley comes out and tells you early in the process (and keep in mind he’s a Christian pastor) that it’s okay to cheat and you even have to. Wow. Now you’re ready to ready the book.
The author tells you about the most important and most complex cheating situation one can have in life – that between ones loved ones (think spouse, children) and ones work. And unless you’ve figured out how to make that situation a perfect win-win one, Stanley tells you, you’re cheating one of them and the bets are on that it’s your family. But it gets worse. If you’re cheating here, the author says you are on a collision course if you haven’t had a crash already. He has a perfect “holding the rock” analogy he shares. And the bottom line is “picking up a rock that shattered into fragments after it got dropped and trying to put together again is next to impossible”.
Stanley is careful not to make assumptions about your own specific situation, but neither does he let you off the hook. Your excuses just won’t fly.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This book changed the course of my busy life. Glad I read it!Published 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
This book is a must read for everyone who feels the pressure of finding a balance between competing interest and simply wants to please God in arranging our time!Published 9 months ago by Amazon Customer
I liked this book a lot!
It touches a topic very important in our lives: how to balance family and work properly. Read more
Andy Stanley is an excellent pastor, speaker, and writer. I highly recommend this book to those who are looking to strike a better work/life balance!Published 16 months ago by Dustin L Stewart
Highly recommend this book for anyone challenged with keeping the right priorities in life.Published 19 months ago by Mike Pope
I highly recommend this book! My husband and I were amazed with how concisely and powerfully it provided a heart check for both of us!Published 23 months ago by loved this read!