Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide? [Hardcover]

Andy Stanley (Author)

Book Description

Release date: December 10, 2003

Work. Family. Church. Hobbies. Fitness. Housekeeping. Socializing. Sleep. With only 24 hours in each day, we simply can't fit everything in. And what we choose to cheat is a clear announcement of our values. When you come home an hour earlier, miss a round of golf, or let the dishes sit while you play with your child, you make your family feel valued and secure. Bestselling author Andy Stanley helps you restore your vision of what really matters - and guides you in making courageous decisions about your time.

Who are you cheating?

You love your family. You love the challenges of your job. But there’s not enough of you to go around. Somebody isn’t getting as much of your attention as they want or deserve.

This little book presents a strategic plan for resolving the tension between work and home—reversing the destructive pattern of giving to your company and career what belongs to your family.

But be forewarned...you will have to cheat.

Story Behind the Book

Andy has spent hundreds of hours with men and women who have cheated their families for the sake of their career goals. They all admitted knowing there was a problem. This is not a struggle relegated to some diminutive segment of society. We all wrestle with the tension between work and family. Regardless of which side of the equation you are on, you know what it is like to deal with the endless cycle of guilt, anger, jealousy, and rejection. But there is a solution. Strangely enough, the solution is similar to the problem. Both involve cheating. Simply put, you must choose to cheat at work rather than at home.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Andy Stanley is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and the founding pastor of North Point Community Church in Atlanta , Georgia , with a youthful congregation of more than 12,000. For the past 12 years of his ministry, he has consistently mentored a young group of future leaders and Christian pastors. He has also hosted conferences for leaders under 40 and spoken at Catalyst Conferences. Andy is the author of Visioneering, the bestseller Like a Rock, and his most recent book, The Next Generation Leader. Andy and his wife, Sandra, have two sons, Andrew and Garrett, and a daughter, Allison.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 144 pages
• Publisher: Multnomah Books (December 10, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590523296
• ISBN-13: 978-1590523292
• Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.2 x 7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #85,393 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Andy Stanley is a pastor, communicator, author, and the founder of North Point Ministries (NPM). Since its inception in 1995, North Point Ministries has grown from one church to five in the Atlanta area and has developed a global network of more than 30 churches. Each Sunday, more than 33,000 people attend worship services at NPM's five Atlanta-area churches: Browns Bridge Community Church, Buckhead Church, Gwinnett Church, North Point Community Church, and Watermarke Church.

Andy's books include the recently released Deep & Wide, as well as Enemies of the Heart, The Grace of God, The Next Generation Leader, and How Good Is Good Enough? Andy and his wife, Sandra, live in Alpharetta, Georgia, and have three children.

For more information about Andy Stanley and North Point Ministries, visit www.northpointministries.org.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#54 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#93 in Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality

#54 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#93 in Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 31 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Great idea, but I'm wary of the applications... November 1, 2007

By Chad Oberholtzer

Format:Hardcover

Andy Stanley has chosen a rather provocative title for this book in which he challenges folks to choose to cheat their employers rather than their families when it comes to priorities and time. I'm hard-pressed to disagree with this general principle, and I think that he offers a compelling case against the workaholism that has plagued generations of American families. And as one can always expect from Stanley, his writing is engaging and easy to read, so this one can be tackled in one or two sittings.

My apprehension about this book stems from its misapplication that I've already observed in some of my peers. As a 29-year-old, I'll be quite frank in declaring that the potential plague of my generation is not workaholism but sloth. I see a generation of my peers who were raised in a world of entertainment and pleasure, who get into the working world and try to find ways to be uncommitted, lazy, irresponsible employees so they can spend their time and money buying and playing with their toys. Within that context, I've seen young singles use the "Choosing to Cheat" concept to avoid hard work, cheat their employers, and invest their energies in self-gratification. This obviously misses Stanley's whole point, but I've seen it happen.

My critique is not so much about the book, then, but about the intended audience. For the 40+ generation who maybe struggles more with the dangers of workaholism, I think this book could be perfect. It's certainly a challenging and interesting book to read. But I won't be sending this to my twenty-something friends, who instead need a book that challenges us to work hard in whatever we do as a means to glorify God.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read - Simple and Profound October 18, 2002

By Darryl Dash

Format:Hardcover

I first heard Andy teach on this subject over a year ago. It's a life-changing and necessary book, and I don't know any family that couldn't benefit from its message.

"Choosing to Cheat" is built on the premise that everyone cheats somewhere - there aren't enough hours for everything. Tragically, it's easier to cheat our families than than to cheat at work. Andy not only tells us why we should cheat at work; he also tells us how. Ironically, cheating at work can make us more productive.

I needed to read this message again, because it's always easy to return to old habits. Highly recommended.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I Pledge Allegiance to My Boss November 11, 2007

By John W. Pearson VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Andy Stanley writes, "Following the principles of God results in the blessings of God." The author's dad, Charles Stanley, says, "God doesn't reveal His will for our consideration. He reveals it for our participation." This may be your most important book purchase of the year--for yourself or your team members.

Do you pledge allegiance to your boss? Andy Stanley says that "your Creator does not define your life by your career achievements or the neatness of your pantry." Writing to both stay-at-home parents and spouses in the workplace, Stanley says you must cheat on your work if you're going to win at home. (Read the book for his definition on "cheating.") He once admonished a struggling fast track executive, "the problem is, you love your family in your heart, but you don't love them in your schedule. And they can't see your heart."

When you read this book, you'll never, ever think of Daniel without recalling Stanley's commentary. "Daniel's choice of diet was an indication of where he placed his loyalty. For us, the chief indicator is time. Daniel's loyalty was tested by what he ate. Ours is tested by what we put on our calendars. Where you spend your time is an indication of where your loyalties lie. In effect, you pledge your allegiance to the person or thing that receives your time."

There are lots of books on balancing work and family. This one is different. It's not a guilt trip. Instead, it's a simple, thoughtful, Christ-centered process to help couples dig deep and ask themselves two or three really tough questions.

Stanley adds, "No where in Scripture are you commanded to lay down your life for your stock options. Or to love your career like Christ loved the church. We are instructed to do our jobs and love our families (see Colossians 3:23). When you love your job and do your family, you've not only stepped outside the bounds of family life, you have stepped outside the will of God."