Customer Reviews

Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom

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Who do you need to forgive in your life? What resentment do you continue to harbor? What walls have you put up so as not to be hurt again? Nancy Leigh DeMoss invites us to take an honest look at our lives and make the decision to forgive those who have hurt us.

DeMoss doesn't resort to simple solutions. She knows that the pain that readers may have experienced run deep. There are situations of physical and sexual abuse. There are times when loved ones have been hurt deeply or have even been taken away through murder. No, forgiveness is not easy. Nevertheless, it is what God calls us to do.

Withholding forgiveness hurts not only the person we hold in bondage but ourselves as well. "Though it may feel right, though it may seem justified, though it may appear to be the only option available to us . . . The very weapon we use to inflict pain on our offender becomes a sword turned on ourselves, doing far more damage to us - and to those who love me - than to those who have hurt us."

In addition, many have difficulty accepting God's forgiveness. "When we refuse to forgive, something is blocked in our relationship with the Father. [There is] a clear connection between our willingness to extend forgiveness to others, and our ability to appropriate and experience His forgiveness for our own sins."

DeMoss also addresses the need we feel to "make people pay." We may feel that by forgiving people, we are not holding them accountable. We are "letting them off the hook." This is not the case. "According to God's Word, wrongdoers will get their just due." Romans 12 tells us that " `Vengeance is mine. I will repay,' says the Lord." "Forgiveness releases the accused from your custody and turns him over to God . . . the one and only One who is both able and responsible for meting out justice."

DeMoss has penned a thought-provoking and insightful book. All of us can use the reminder to forgive, and the encouragement to work through the pain of our past, to wipe the slate clean. She makes the case that forgiveness is a decision, much more than a feeling. She invites us to reconsider what it means to forgive and most importantly, she calls us to forgive.

This book is awesome. Why waste our life on being bitter. God knew before we were born what we would go through and with his help we can forgive anyone of anything. It is life changing, I have bought several copies and the book on CD to share with friends. You will never be the same if you read it and apply it to you life. We don't always have control over what happens in our lives but we do have control over our our reaction to those events. I can not stress enough how wonderful it feels to forgive,the book tells you how.

This is a copy of my review at my blog: Femmedelettres.blogspot.com:

I just finished reading the most amazing book: Choosing Forgiveness, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. It took me the entire month of August (interspersed with other books of course), as I wanted to ponder and absorb its truths. I borrowed it from my local library, but this is one of those books I must own, and read at least once a year. (I actually started listening to it as an audio book, which was gripping, but when the CD's skipped, I decided I just had to grab the book.)

Honestly, I don't know what drew me to the book, except Divine Providence. I never thought I needed a book on forgiveness. I don't exaggerate when I say I have been through numerous traumatic things in my life, pain wrought mostly by the cruel hands of others... but I thought I had forgiven my perpetrators. I do believe I had outwardly forgiven them, but in some ways I was still punishing those people, or holding them as emotional hostages, or even pridefully snubbing them. If they even noticed my sinful backlash toward them, they probably thought it was PMS-induced and went on their merry way. But, I was the one suffering inside.

One senses that DeMoss cares for her reader, which is why she risks telling us the truth. She maintains that everyone, even devout Christians, foster unforgiveness in their hearts to some degree, and she gently demonstrates this in her writing. She discusses the ways we subtly choose unforgiveness, the ramifications (even physical ones) of living in unforgiveness, and how we can choose, yes, choose to forgive those who have hurt or are hurting us (while drawing the distinction between forgiving someone and holding them accountable for their sin). She also discusses a sometimes neglected issue: self-forgiveness.

The part about vengeance really hit me:
Romans 12 tells us that "`Vengeance is mine. I will repay,' says the Lord." "Forgiveness releases the accused from your custody and turns him over to God... the one and only One who is both able and responsible for meting out justice." (p. 198)
Not having to take vengeance saves me much headache and stress. When I can just trust my heavenly father to take care of me, and to take care the 'bad guys' for me, then I can get on with my business of serving Him and helping others (she does remind us that "the memory of past hurts can provide a platform for ministry to other hurting people" p. 173).
But, while I must trust God to take vengeance, I am not allowed to hide my head in the sand: She stresses, "God does not want you to run away from your pain but to run to Him in the midst of your pain--to fly head-on into the full fury of it, to face it, to let Him meet you right where it hurts and give you the grace to be set free from any bondage to that hurt" (p.128). Wow!

The paragraph that really transformed my notion of suffering's purpose was this: "If you're a child of God, the ordeal you're undergoing, however wrong or unfair or heartless it may be or may have been, in His providence and skillful hands will be used to take you somewhere good--deeper into His heart, to a place of greater dependence and trust, more perfectly refined into the likeness of Christ" (P. 107, emphasis mine) Isn't this what we all long for? What if I embrace my suffering as a gift from God, instead of hiding from it, or engaging in bloody battle against it?

There are many practical and surprising insights in this book. Much of it is contrary to the way I've believed and behaved--which certainly has not been working. But, all of it is solidly based on scripture. The subtitle, Your Journey to Freedom, hints at the outcome of following DeMoss' advice: first, it is a journey, not a quick fix (hence why I must read it again); and second, it will bring freedom if you allow the Lord to use this book to reveal to you and heal you of your own unforgiveness.

Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom This book truly brought clarity to my heart and has been a blessing. If you're serious about forgiving others this book really helps to give understanding in the journey of forgiving.

"...the thing you may think is a cruel injustice on His part may actually turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. It can at least, we know - by the Father's all-wise grace - be transformed for your good, for His glory and for the advance of His eternal kingdom." ~ pg. 156

"Choosing Forgiveness" is a powerful book I think every Christian should read. It begins with the story of how a woman forgives her daughter's killers and ends with a message of hope and the story of how God has forgiven us. Nancy Leigh DeMoss tells many stories that will bring you to tears because of their beauty.

As you read this book you may realize how many people you should forgive and perhaps how many people you should seek forgiveness from. "Choosing Forgiveness" is a revealing look at how anger, resentment and bitterness can erode your peace of mind. Nancy Leigh DeMoss shows how prolonged unforgiveness can cause you to also develop health problems.

At the end of each chapter there are questions to help you sort through your feelings and to guide you towards making healthier life-changing decisions.

"Forgiveness unleashes joy. It brings peace. It washes the slate clean. It sets all the highest values of love in motion. In a sense, forgiveness is Christianity at its highest level." ~ John MacArthur

If you have been wounded by someone's words and feel resentment, a need to retaliate, bitterness or anger then this book could help you on your spiritual path. Are you withholding love from someone you need to forgive? This book is a call to action and a safe place to reside in while you consider the power of forgiveness. This book came into my life at just the right time as I was struggling to forgive someone who said something very cruel to me. Since life is unpredictable and anyone can hurt you at any time it is good to know that forgiveness is the best choice and that it leaves you free to love instead of hate.

~The Rebecca Review

A must read if you've been offended, hurt or broken by the sin of another person or experience.

Biblically sound, practical, and heart changing counsel that caused me to dig deep and be honest before God.

Not for anyone who wants to stay bitter; doesn't believe the Bible; or doesn't want to walk in pure obedience to Christ.

Thank you, Nancy DeMoss for speaking the truth to us, in love.

A powerful & honest book. Great for a small group study. Solid biblical material, helpful discussion questions for each chapter.

This is an excellent book! It helped me to remove the bitterness in my heart against my husband. Once that happened......I felt free!

I have read a few books on forgiveness, Nancy's book on "Choosing Forgiveness" is one of the clearest and easy to read book. She is skillful in using real life stories to illustrate her points, that make reading interesting and let one wants to continue to read until you finished book. I read it in few hours cover to cover.

I found this to be painfully dry and brittle. No "life" in the book, but rather dry and arid. To me, a better choice would be (1) Forgiveness: Breaking the Power of the Past, by Kay Arthur (small book, dense in substance - I combined it with fasting and seeking the Lord - and it "packed a wollop"); Lord, Heal My Hurts (also Kay Arthur - more in depth), and lastly, Total Forgiveness by R. T. Kendall (sp?) - I have also heard good things about "God Meant it for Good' buy the same author, but have not read it personally. But - 2 stars for author's sincerity. Blessings to everyone with the release of forgiveness, being freed from the associated pain and invisible prison!(no matter which book you choose!) :)