Customer Reviews

Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is a beautiful book. It talks about how to get around the "bad stuff" and savor the better parts of life. In a section called "transcending pain" Alexandra says, "Our painful experiences stregthen us in becoming more empathetic, more caring, and deeper human beings. We grow in depth of understanding, with greater appreciation for the miracle of life. We all have our struggles. None of us is spared. Pain is inevitable. We try to learn from our experiences how to move our energy into pure, positive directions. We must remain focused on our goals so that our light shines as brightly as possible in situations that require our inner strength." When she gets to talking about the better parts of life, there is a section about reaching for dreams and goals that I especially enjoyed. The whole book is beautifully written and thoughtful and I found it uplifting and inspiring. I guess that I should underscore what I've written by admitting that Alexandra Stoddard is my favorite writer and I have most of her books. However, Choosing Happiness and Daring to be Yourself are my two favorite favorites. It would be really sad for anyone to miss out on this perfect little book about being happy.

In this book, as in all her works, Alexandra Stoddard is not telling you to change YOUR bedside lampshades just because she mentions it in her book. She's not telling YOU to wear acid green, that she loves and she's not telling YOU to check the Caffeine label on the coffe. She's telling you what SHE does and how SHE chooses happiness. No one is going to be able to "Choose Happiness" by following HER suggestions verbatim. What she IS telling you is to look at her examples and find these things in YOUR life. Hers may be silly and trite to you, as some of the negative reviews have mentioned, but the basic idea is sound indeed. You just have to find your own.

The most I got from this book is BEING MINDFUL. Now, we all know this, it's nothing new, but all of this is cumulative anyway. It won't do you a whit's good to practice these tips for a day or a week. It has to be all the time.

...It may not be YOUR path to happiness, but it's a fine start. Thanks Alexandra, I read it often.

This book is a treasure-not to be read quickly but savored when settled into a quiet moment with a cup of tea. It is like self-therapy: encouraging on a bleak day, uplifting when needed, enhancing the best moments, and consoling during the worst. Less structured than many of Stoddard's other works, this book meanders like daily thoughts, exploring reoccurring themes such as:
> Defining the ingredients of happiness. ("Often we learn about unhappiness from being unhappy. We need strategies and tools to better cope with unhappiness, disappointment, and pain.... Approximately half of the ways to increase our happiness can be derived from wise, imaginative choices. The other half comes from our willingness to accept whatever happens, to make the necessary adjustments and move forward....Pleasure is experienced in our outer environment; joy originates within. Love of life and others is the goal. Choosing happiness is the way.")
> Cultivating mindfulness. ("By developing the capacity to be fully present in each moment, we will live a life of greater depth and meaning.... All experiences have the power to transform us when we're fully alive to the beauty of a present moment's encounter.")
> Sensitivity to our environment. ("The care and maintenance that we put into our immediate physical environment, our homes, our gardens, our possessions, our clothes, will always add to our sense of well-being and inner peace.")
> Cultivating our "inner garden."
> Ways to prioritize. ("When we prioritize what tasks we must perform, we're able to immerse ourselves in what we do. Whenever we try to do too much in too little time, we are less effective and don't do anything well.")
> Developing our defining words to help us "be true to ourself in our life choices."
> Counteracting the negative with the positive. ("We get good vibes by giving them....Being fully present. Listening well-these small gestures of caring are magical when they become a habit, a happy continuing experience....Miserable people cause most of the problems.... A gentle opposing energy can bring balance.")
> Expending energy to gain energy. ("Whatever positive vibrations we send out come back to us in rich benefits.... The more often we give off good energy-even if only in optimistic, compassionate thoughts and insightful ideas-the more opportunities we'll have to live vibrantly moment to moment.... Appreciation energizes.")
> Following goals. ("When we decide what we want to do with our life, and move in the direction of our goals, when we challenge ourselves to personal growth as a regular discipline, we put everything we have into everything we do.")
> Thanking others. ("Thanking people for services they perform for you can bring dignity and pleasure to their jobs. The extra little effort, whether made in person, over the telephone, or in writing, adds grace to the giver as well as the receiver and encourages the energy of happiness.")
> Handling pain. ("Painful times in our lives are emotional marathons, and we know marathon runners don't run on empty. We need to be in training in order to be at our strongest, most courageous best.... We should focus our energy on how we react to circumstances beyond our control, not on why something painful has happened.... When we bravely face truth, we use our energies to do whatever good we can.... The global family as a whole is not a happy one. There is sorrow at every turn-sadness because of lack of love, pain because of loss of hope, bitterness that is entrenched. What a wonderful gift we're given to be able to be of help.... Participate with joy in the sorrows of the world.")
> Gardening as a metaphor. ("We can think of our home as a lovely garden that we enjoy cultivating.... The houses where we live don't thrive on benign neglect. Living abundantly requires lots of loving energy.... When the energy is positive, when every wall, every corner exudes light and charm, there is no need to have anything that is not meaningful, useful, or beautiful.... Make your home a garden so breathtakingly beautiful that you inspire happiness in everyone you welcome in.... Our homes are our ideal earthly paradise.")
The necessity of ritual. ("Aesthetic qualities feed the human spirit and offer us color and variety as well as opportunities to feel grace notes of happiness.... When we are awake to the full potential of each moment, nothing is ever routine.")
> Following our dreams. ("Dreams come true when there is a clear, far-sighted perspective on what we most want from life and what energies we are willing to expend to achieve it.... We are like bees. We move about, going from here to there, having thousands of different experiences, and learning how to cultivate our own. We take everything in, then we make our honey, our own dreams come true, our own happiness.")
> The importance of solitude. ("We need regular times alone to better understand what is happening inside us and around us and to integrate our lives into a larger perspective.")
> Being open to happy accidents. ("Be on the lookout for the gift of making fortunate discoveries by accident. A great deal of happiness comes as a result of the things we are not consciously searching for but discover with surprise. We can delight in the reality of any given moment.")
> Setting limits. ("No matter how large our hearts or how sensitive we are to the needs of others, no life can be lived well without limits.... None of us will be happy if we try to be all things to all people, all the time.... With courage, resolution and perseverance we can set our boundaries, know our limits, listen to our conscience.")
These and many other topics can help each of us to achieve more enrichment in our everyday lives. What is most special about Stoddard's writing is her very visual and sensual descriptions of the simple ordinary beauty in everyday life. Spiced with examples and stories from personal experience, Stoddard makes philosophic concepts real, practical, and attainable. No one can read this book without enhancing their own lives. This book is hard to read quickly and is better experienced one segment at a time. It is a testimony to licking the cream from existence; something each of us can always do with greater mindfulness.

Choosing Happiness is a delightful book with creative ideas on how Alexandra Stoddard personally chooses happiness in her daily life. Alexandra does not force her ideas on you but gives lovely examples and suggestions of the choices that she makes. This book truly expanded my ideas for finding joy and creativity in new areas that I had not thought about previously. While enjoying this book I was reminded of Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment which also gives simple and inspiring ways to choose daily happiness and live in peace and joy.

This book is a breath of fresh air. The author tells us that
"happiness lies in the passions we pursue and the pressures we
decline." She boldly states that's "Happiness is a choice."
In challenging times which we all have, you can choose happiness
or get caught up in and dwell on the unpleasant things we all
face in our life. Even in the most tumultuous of times, one can find
"happiness in the little things in life, which might be as simple
as hot cookies from the oven, a smile from a friend, or fresh cut
flowers. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and recommend it.

I also recently read the book "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work"
by Ariel & Shya Kane. It was equally as enjoyed and is about
"Living in the Moment." What I learned from both these book is
if one doesn't dwell on the negative or worry about the future
or the past, life can be magical!

While this book does offer spiritual keys to happiness, they mostly seem to be suggestions that we have all heard before, such as using your imagination, surrounding yourself in color, and learning to fully appreciate everything in your life. I think that the happiness keys that could truly evoke some interior changes in a person are underemphasized, only mentioned in passing as though change is easy to undertake, while the book focuses mostly on material pleasures. Yes, fine table linens, cafe lattes, fountain pens, and antiques purchased in Provence do make people, but should we bank our happiness on what we own? The author mentions her fine stationery, antique furniture, and colorful clothing all throughout the book, conveying the idea that we can choose happiness by buying objects that make us happy. This take on "happiness" makes consumerism far too important. The book lacks insight into emotions that are not based on reflections of what we own or surround ourselves with, and therefore, I think this book seems to be mostly about money, because it's foundation seems to lie in what material objects you can own to make your happiness, that the goal isn't really "choosing happiness" so much as BUYING happiness.

Alexandra RADIATES joy. And of course, why wouldn't she? She has everything, and she can afford to buy all those things she mentions in the book. Expensive paintings. Bedding. Furniture. Fresh flowers. But having all those things don't guarantee happiness. There are plenty of wealthy people out there who have everything, but are still miserable and always wanting more. That's why I believe she's someone worth listening to. She genuinely radiates joy, and I feel that every time I read her book. Her words uplift me. Most of her advice can just be common sense, but she rewraps it in a fashion that motivates and enlivens everything that's common to us. Daily life can feel dead and routine, but she injects magic into her daily rituals. Eating, bathing, sleeping. We all do these three activities every day, and what better thing to do than make these activities SPECIAL? If you want practical advice, maybe her book's not right for you. But if you want a book that can lift your spirits anytime you pick up the book, or a book that can make the mundane magical, it will work beautifully. She has a unique writing style, and I love her for it. And the book works for me.

Stoddard takes the Buddhist precept of mindfulness and warps it into materialism. I believe that mindfulness -attention to the present moment- can lead to happiness, however we do not need a "bigger house," a "beautifully-carved marble-topped Regency fruitwood table," lemon soap, scented candles, new curtains, or any of the other numerous consumer products that liberally pepper this book for joy in our lives. Great spiritual leaders like Jesus and Buddha agree that money and things do not buy happiness. Save your money. Skip this maudlin materialistic sap and seek some genuine wisdom.

as always, with alexandra's books, I was not disappointed. I will add this one to my shelf to read and reread. My daughters (22-24yr) also enjoy borrowing my alexandra books for inspiration on decorating and life in general. I savor her books!

I've treasured every Stoddard book that I've read. She has such a clear way of thinking and such a gentle, quality approach to everything from letter writing to decorating a home.
Here's the description that drew me to this book:
"Filled with practical, creative ideas for pursuing happiness in everything from the way we approach problems to the objects we enjoy in our homes. This succinct handbook offers instant uplift from a seasoned thinker and speaker on personal contentment."