Customer Reviews

Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials

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Happiness is a by-product of how thoughtful and generous your own choices are! Current research has proven that the happiest people in all societies including this one are the people who have relative peace of mind and are above all generous and good-humored. This book lives up to its claim that making relatively simple changes in the way you look at your own choices and then actually behave will make an immediate and significant difference. This is a book for people who want to take charge of the way they are living. In a very crowded marketplace it is surprisingly difficult to find books that are both intelligent and uncluttered. This one is certainly about happiness but it gets straight to the point that it is not other people or more "things" or more money that will make a lasting difference, but rather a willingness to see what works and what doesn't. Do more of what is going well; do less of what's making you or someone else unhappy. Sounds as though we should all know that, yet over and over again we do the same things that have already caused us problems. I am a practicing therapist and know that it is not education or high intelligence that makes the difference - it is a willingness to learn from experience and to value what you can do and give. There are lots of great "experience" stories here to help make the insights come to life. This book is beautifully set out and could be read by first-timers to this kind of writing as well as much more sophisticated readers. The author has a spiritual outlook that reflects the Dalai Lama's ("My religion is kindness"). A kinder life is a happier one. She leaves us in no doubt that this is possible and achievable.

How wonderful to find a book that speaks to our daily lives. Most of all this book speaks to me! It is in small segments so I can read something and think about it. There are also practical ideas suggested, and ways of making a difference, inside me and in my outer world. For example, I am able to change the way I think and it will change the way I feel - something I have known in my head, but never have I read so clearly how this can happen - I mean really! 'We can learn to be less afraid of fear' 'what would I do if I weren't afraid?' These questions front profound teachings and encouragments to find a more fundamental trusting attitude towards life and towards myself. I highly commend 'Choosing Happiness'!

I have to tell you that I basically read Choosing Happiness in a single day. I had been looking for information on helping me better handle my stress and on living a much simpler, more joyous life when what do I find but an entire table dedicated to "Finding Happiness". I must have picked up ten books from that table that looked good, but it was Stephanie's book that grabbed my attention and kept it for the rest of the day!

The book is jam-packed with solid advice--advice I had basically read or heard from various Christian speakers, authors, and psychologists over the years. The difference is that Stephanie shares the advice as though you were sitting at a table with a close friend who truly wanted you to be happy--not someone who wanted you to know how smart she was. You get a sense that Stephanie truly cares about the happiness of her readers and that she's found the secret to happiness that has eluded us for years--money, successes, and material possessions mean nothing. True happiness comes from within and in order to find and keep true happiness in your life, you must:

* Treat yourself with self-respect.
* Take time to get to know yourself through self-discovery, self-knowledge, and self-responsibility.
* Take time to do the things that matter most to you--even if it's only thirty minutes a day.
* And most importantly, learn to LOVE yourself for who you are, not who you could be or what other people think you should be.

Here are a few key quotes that hit home for me:

* "If what matters to you most differentiates from what you do most in your life, that conflict can negatively affect your moods, your emotions, and your relationships."
* "When we feel worst about ourselves we feel the most disconnected from others."
* "Be aware of what you didn't get in childhood as well as what you most resent. Use that awareness to be especially sensitive about not unconsciously demanding that your partner, kids, or friends make up for that."
* "People who take time to simply `be' on a daily basis are measurably more productive, better listeners, less stressed, more alive, and more resilient than those who don't."
* "Your life is an incredible gift, not for what you can do with it but for what it is!"

If you are searching for more out of life and just aren't happy with what you're finding, check out Choosing Happiness . It just might steer you in the right direction.

I read alot of self-help books, but this one quickly became a favourite. The appeal to me was in the layout largely, I could read a chapter here, a chapter there without losing my train of thought.

I found it very useful to read about someone's real life struggles with 'daily life', not 'big issues' as such. The writing style is warm and engaging and I often refer to the book again and again.

I bought this for my best friend who loved it also and she has since bought it for another dear friend of hers. We call it our 'bible' now as it's just basic, everyday living and how to deal with things in a slightly different way.

Highly recommended.

Stephanie Dowrick has been a consistent influence in my life for years -- a decade I realise, with some surprise! I have read most of her books and Choosing Happiness is the latest I bought. Like other books of hers, I have recommended it to and bought copies for varied friends.

Stephanie gets to the heart of the things that matter in our lives. She writes with such clear truth yet also with such warm kindness. (Pema Chodron is another author who has this skill and capacity: to tell it like it is without sugar coating, but with such gentleness.) This book is an interesting collaboration and different in its structure from her earlier books, which makes it a perfect place to start if you are unfamiliar with her writings. It is a book for dipping into as well as reading from start to finish, a book for coming back to and reflecting on at length. It's real and practical, born out of insight and experience, yet always encouraging and inspirational. It breaks down the overwhelming and the insurmountable into first steps, into small changes that are possible, that do make a difference. And it does this without ever descending into the "feel good, pump yourself up" territory which so many self-help books seem to occupy and which I personally find unhelpful and unappealing. This is a book for people willing to think, to investigate their lives and minds, to explore the consequences of their thoughts and actions on those around them. No short-cuts here but lots of places to start.

Someone a long time ago said to me, "that's the thing about dharma friends: they raise you up". I have never forgotten it and I know the truth of it now better than I did then. I have never met her, know nothing about her beyond her published words, but Stephanie Dowrick is one of those dharma friends for me.

I just love, love, love this book!!! I keep it on my night table and re-read it all the time. Any page I open it to, I get very valuable and practical information. There is just so much wisdom in this book; it's like having a wise sage with you all the time. It really has improved the quality of my life. A must read.

Everyone should read a page of this book upon awakening.
Really positive and affirming.

If this book and been titled as a self help book I might have passed it by, but the title intrigued me, every one of course would choose to be happy. As I started reading I thought I know this and was reluctant to continue, but something kept me going, the more I read the more it all made sense, yes I knew most of the things that were being said, but was I practicing them. It has certainly stopped some of my bad habits and put a different point of view forward to me. I will always keep it as a reference guide, and I have given one over to a family member, and told all my friends about it. It also helped me to heal some old wounds, and truly forgive things, that I thought had been unfairly done to me.

From the heart, easily accessible, highlighting both common sense and uncommon sense, a well written book by a one who has walked the walk. I bought multiple copies to give to my kids.

This is an "easy" read and if you don't want to read from start to finish you can open it anywhere and learn a lesson of the day.