Customer Reviews

Chosen By God: A Brother's Journey

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A reviewer, a Filmmaker & Theatre Artist, LA/NY, November 3, 1999, Chosen By God - A Reflection of His Image. As a reader of NEWSWEEK for years, I have followed journalist Joshua Hammer's writing from his serious journalism in Nairobi to his lighter fare in Los Angeles. In ten years of following his work, I came to know the honest, fearless and responsible journalist. I must be honest in telling you that I was shocked to meet the man in his first solo outing 'Chosen By God.' He is a journalist of the highest order, but what a marvelous surprise to discover his simple straightforward ability to tell a meaningful story. Mr. Hammer isn't afraid to let us in on his weaknesses, and his desire to find himself while finding his long-lost brother. There is no need to delve into the subject matter of this work, for it is dealt with in detail above, however, trust that as someone who is deeply familiar with the world that Mr. Hammer writes of, no matter what your faith or religious background, you will see yourself or someone you know in Mr. Hammer's tale. That is the true test of an enduring story. I recommend this work to those who are not looking for a pseudo-intellectual experience - but for those who are looking for a piece of life itself. Congratulations on a 'true' work.

To understand his brother's flight to the outer fringe of fundamentalist Judaism, Joshua Hammer explores his own soul, and inspires his readers to explore theirs. Chosen by God is a remarkably objective reporting job: one can imagine how difficult it is to be objective about one's own family. It's an odyssey of sorts in which the author travels from Israel to Hassidic enclaves around New York City; from his teen years with his theatrically talented brother, Tony, to later visits with the bearded, dovening Tuvia his brother has become. Along the way the reader is taken into the environment that affected the two boys as they grew up: the divorce of their parents; his father's remarriage to a non-Jew; the loss of their little half-sister to a rare disease. Readers' lives will in no way resemble those of Joshua or Tony (Tuvia) Hammer, but they will gain insight into the ups and downs of their own lives, a better understanding of themselves, and perhaps some understanding of those friends or relatives who abandoned the secular world for fundamentalism. And they'll do so through a compelling story that's almost impossible to lay aside

Joshua Hammer's book is revelatory - both of himself and his brother Tuvia. I got a real sense that Hammer's trips to Monsey were as much to define himself as it was to describe his brother Tony's move into ultra-orthodox Judaism.

Tony's move from Marxism to Chasidism was a change from one authoritarian system to another. He could just as easily become a Moonie, Catholic monk, Bahia depending on who found him first at that turmoiled time of his life.

The author's own journey was from complete scepticism and hostility to an examination of a life, at first totally ailen, and them understanding, and finally acceptance. He still, however, could not accept the complete rigidity of his brother's life.

Had it not been for his sister-in-law's Jewishness by choice and her, finally succesful attempt to bring Tuvia to an understanding of his role as a father and husband, the entire structure could have come crashing down. She also helped Hammer find some rationale for Tuvia.

In the end, however, the author realized that in finding his brother,he found more of himself and a deeper understanding of the dysfuntion in part of his family.

Joshua Hammer's journey is not yet complete. I'm looking forward to his next book

Having walked at least part of Hammer's brother's journey into Orthodox Judaism, I wasn't sure what to expect from "Chosen by God," but was braced for scathing "objective" journalistic condemnation of the religious and particularly Chassidic lifestyle. Surprisingly, though, there was none of that here. Instead, this book tells the heartfelt story of Hammer's quest to understand not only his brother but his own Jewish spiritual leanings.

There are no cheap epiphanies in this book: Hammer doesn't come away a "convert", and neither can he bring his brother Tuvia back from the edge of extremism where even his wife Ahuvah feels he may get hurt. Rather, they find common ground: with hard work and compromise on both sides, they manage to cultivate a vocabulary that bridges their two very different worlds.

Neither brother, it becomes clear through Hammer's sensitive narrative, is "right" -- but they manage to speak to each other with love and come to respect each other's journeys.

A book like this will certainly have many fans among those who seek to denigrate "ultra-Orthodox" Judaism -- it is scathingly honest about the poverty and even criminal activity of a few of its adherents. But if that's all you're looking for, you will hate this book for its honest, truthful portrayal of the beauty and excitement of traditional Jewish spirituality.

Though Hammer initially suspected he'd lost his brother to a cult, he comes away from his journey accepting that this IS who his brother was all along: an extremist, perhaps, but one for whom Judaism is a good fit after all. The conclusions of this book aren't the usual trite condemnations of one lifestyle or another, but they are satisfying and real, which makes this book's contribution truly meaningful, rather than merely sensationalistic.

I found this book fascinating and unputdownable. Hammer has accurately captured the ambience and atmosphere of the ultra-Orthodox world. Unfortunately, his memory fails him on a lot of the details of halachic observance. An expert should have carefully reviewed the manuscript before publication. But these flaws do not detract from the compelling story. The psychological implications are telling: the more sensitive brother, Tuvia, is drawn to religious life, seeking the warmth of family and the acceptance he may have lacked growing up in the shadow of a talented older brother. He finds close community in the ultra-Orthodox world and a father substitute in a charismatic Hasidic rabbi. The book also reveals the economic underpinnings of a society where men are not expected to earn a living, yet father large families. The families live in poverty, supported by the pittance wives can earn in home businesses and by minimal stipends from the yeshiva. Friends do favors, even the impoverished give to those less well off than themselves. But the major economic support is provided by well-to-do secular parents, who pay for housing, tuition, and everything else their children and grandchildren need. It is a system in which the compassion - and guilt feelings - of parents are fully exploited. The wives shoulder a greatly disproportionate burden, and they, too, are fully exploited. Hammer does not go much beyond reportage, and one would have liked deeper analysis and thoughtfulness. But the facts speak for themselves. This is a window on a subculture most readers would not otherwise have the access to penetrate.

Joshua Hammer gives an illuminating look into ultra-Orthodox Judaism. What I also found thought provoking was his account of his "lost" brother who was drifting from one interest to another and was finally sucked into a cult-like sect of Hasidism. I have often wondered how baby boomers like myself who were raised as Reform Jews in a pluralistic society decided to choose to become a Ba'al Tshuvah or "Born Again Ultra Orthodox Jew"? I guess it's better than being a Moonie, or is it?

Anyway, kudos to Joshua Hammer and his wonderful book. I was up until 2 am this morning reading it!

I was astounded by the subject matter, as I myself have a cousin who became ultra-Orthodox, as did Tuvia, the author's brother. I appreciate the book's central thesis: how do we negotiate a decent relationship with relatives/friends/neighbors, etc., who have become Ultra-Orthodox when we have not? Little has been written on this topic, before this book, even though I know many people who have experienced this. I was raised very traditionally Jewish, (although not Ultra-Orthodox), so the world of the Ultra-Orthodox, although very different from my world, did not shock and astound me, as it did the author. With that said, what is also most important about this book is an examination re: why so many Jews who are not raised Ultra-Orthodox choose to take up that life. Like Tuvia, my cousin has always had a rigid, extreme personality. Whatever politics or belief system he has had in his life were always extreme. And I don't think this is uncommon; another friend of mine whose brother became Ultra-Orthodox was always begging his parents, when he was a young child, to give him more "rules". Granted, these are only anecdotes, but I think there is something to be said for those with "extreme" personalities. I was quite impressed that the author was so open and intimate about his brother, and that he demonstrated his own brother's tendencies towards "extremism"; it was so realistic, that at times I thought he was writing about my own cousin and his wife! (she is much nicer and less rigid, exactly like the author's brother's wife). With that said, I found the first half of the book disappointing; the author seemed to whine and whine about his brother. But, by the second half, the tone had definitely changed; the author hung in there in trying to have a relationship with his only sibling, and felt much closer to him, depicting him as much less of a stereotype and more like a beloved relative with both good and bad qualities. I also loved the depiction of the good qualities of the Ultra-Orthodox: their sense of community is the best I have ever seen, (I envy it!), they don't tend to be materialistic, and there is a tremendously strong spirituality in their praying (davening) that I have never seen duplicated anywhere else. I am also happy that the author showed there are plenty of Ultra-Orthodox who don't live the poverty-stricken life of his brother (my cousin, for instance, does not). Even though I would have liked to have seen this issue addressed, the author doesn't tell the rest of us how to negotiate a decent relationship with our own relatives/friends/neighbors, etc., who have become Ultra-Orthodox (In my own case, I have given up on my cousin). Of course, he can't do that. Yet I think he has done a fine job in trying to forge a relationship that is naturally loaded with land mines.I give the author tremendous credit for doing this.

Hammer's book felt like a letter to a friend, describing in detail his cross section of feelings toward his brother's dramatic changes into the extreme world of Hasidic Judaism. Hammer's emotions change throughout the book - confusion, anger, amazement, and to a lesser degree, understanding. The distance between the brothers also seemed due to the religious brother's poor social skills and identity that had nothing to do with religious observant. Although this wasn't a "wow" book, it was a very touching story.

This book is a testiment to the power of brotherly love and acceptance. Josh Hammer has opened his eyes and heart to the transformation of his younger brother, Tony, from a directionless, lost soul to a devoted Hasidic Jew. Josh's apparent objectivity is never far removed from his personal feelings. He struggles with learning much about himself as he struggles to understand his brother and the life Tony has chosen sequestered in a world of faith and devotion to G-d. While not universal to all Baalei T'shuva (Returners to the faith), the book does give a realistic portrayal of the difficulties of the family in dealing Tony's transformation.

First read about this book in Newsweek and it really piqued my curiousity to read it. I did and really enjoyed the depth and honesty in it. As a Christian, Orthodox Judaism was new and strange (in a good way) to me. My sensitivity tand respect for people of this faith was heightened as a result of reading this book. I empathized with the author trying to understand and come to grips with his brother's decision. Powerful- I highly recommend the book.