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The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men
 
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The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men [Hardcover]

Patricia W. Lunneborg (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

0897895983 978-0897895989 March 30, 1999

More and more couples are choosing not to have children. While much attention has been paid to this trend from a woman's point of view, men are often seen as having a secondary role in this choice, as ready to accept whatever their partners decide. In an age when men are expected to be caregivers as well as breadwinners and encouraged to take on more parental responsibilities, this volume argues that they need to be active participants in this crucial, life-altering decision. Based on in-depth interviews with 30 American and British childless men, this is the first book to explore the motives and consequences of voluntary childlessness from a man's perspective.

The interviewees explain the reasons for their choice and explore its impact on their freedom, relationships, job opportunities, and finances. They also discuss their mixed feelings, their family background, and their concern over the world's ever-growing population. The picture that emerges challenges the stereotype of men who decide against parenthood as immature, selfish, and irresponsible. Although each man provides several reasons, the author identifies nine main types of childfree men, including workaholics, lifelong learners, early retirees, stress reducers, and men who don't want to repeat the mistakes of their parents.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

“The results [of this book] hold substantial interest, for they tell us not only about men's experiences of childlessness, but also about the great gap between the experiences of `childfree' men and women.... For the social scientist the study provides an eye-opening look at an underexamined subject and suggests a wealth of hypotheses to guide future research.”–Population and Development Review

“Lunneborg's book makes a strong contribution to the narrative literature on motives to remain childless.”–Contemporary Sociology

“This book fills an important gap in our understanding of men, their feelings, motivations, and reasons for staying childfree. Patricia Lunneborg has let us see the real men behind the public silence on the topic of reproductive choice for men: they are not 'selfish'--but they are conscious of what makes life meaningful for them....Read this book and you will get insights about gender, lifestyle, and masculinity that you never had before.”–Pepper Schwartz Professor of Sociology University of Washington Author of Love Between Equals, What I Learned about Sex

“There is something in this book that every man can relate to, and every man should read it--with or without his partner.”–Jerry Steinberg Founder of the non-profit social club, NO KIDDING!

Book Description

Explores the motives and consequences of voluntary childlessness from a man's perspective.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Praeger (March 30, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0897895983
  • ISBN-13: 978-0897895989
  • Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,502,467 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (5 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A very enjoyable read, July 3, 2004
This review is from: The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men (Hardcover)
I waited on whether or not to get this book as the price is way too high. I found it on half.com for nearly half the price. Anyway, I am very glad that I made the purchase. I am 29 years old now and I have known for a long time (over 10 years now) that I was not someone who wanted kids. It was so refreshing to read the stories of other guys and why they did what they did. I feel like an outcast so much of the time because of my decision, but reading this book made me feel like I was perfectly justified in my feelings. These men have so much going on in their lives! They keep busy, yet they are able to drop any of the activities and just chill out and enjoy some quiet time if they want. They are flexible, less stressed-out, and have more time and money for their own personal hobbies and interests. I wish there were more books on this taboo subject as I feel that men get the raw deal when it comes to decision making in a marriage/relationship. Too often we are passed over as just breadwinner and nothing else. We have visions of what will make our life positive as well, and a lot of the time, most of the time, it gets overshadowed by what the woman in the relationship wants. I really recommend this book to anyone, especially men who are interested in why this child-free choice is a good one.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A rare and vital resource, February 17, 2004
By 
Ephalia (West Haven, CT United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men (Hardcover)
This book is possibly the only one of its sort currently in print. As a voluntarily nulliparous heterosexual female, this book provided an important source of information for me regarding how men make and live the decision not to have children. Such information about men's reproductive choices, and the thought that they have put into those choices is far from easy to find.

This book is done in a "stories of the persons" style with men having similar reasons being grouped by chapters. The author provides some basic, yet extremely valuable, insight into what the roles of men are becoming in reproduction and child rearing in the western world and the clearly demonstrates why some men are making the choice not to have children at all.

Lunneborg occasionally points out some differences between men and women as they go through this decision making process. This is, in my opinion, one of the most valuable contributions of this book because the question of children is viewed predominantly as being the prerogative of females. The men interviewed often seemed to have reasons that appeared different from women's on the surface but were, at the core, similar desires.

This is a valuable book, a resource for finding the opinions of others like oneself if one is considering living a childfree life. It could also be a instructive work for those who want to understand the choice. For those persons, I cannot see how one could read this book and still maintain the stereotype that the childfree are immature, selfish, or have been so impulsive to have given only momentary thought to a choice far less life altering than the decision (usually by default!!) of having a child.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fills in the gaps, October 4, 2010
By 
Mrs. J (La Mesa, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Chosen Lives of Childfree Men (Hardcover)
I've done a lot of reading on child-free lives as my husband and I decided not to have children, and this was the only book I found just about men. So it is good. There are other great similar books - where the author/researcher does qualitative research where they really hear people's real stories (as opposed to having people fill out surveys and then add up the stats) - and some have men's and women's stories. And then there are books who just interviewed women. But I liked the unique focus of this book just on men. It's been a while since I read it, but I remember that it was good, and very similar to other researchers who interviewed men and women or just women, but this is just men.
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