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From the Back Cover
The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to Earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining Kung-fu action with Biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humor, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday school.
Product Description
The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humor, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
76 of 82 people found the following review helpful
By M. Karapcik
Format:DVD
It's... wow. And then... wow. It's just... wow....
I'm really not sure how to describe this movie. It was really funny. The basic premise is that in Ottawa, vampires are hunting lesbians for a nefarious scheme. The Church doesn't know what to do, so they go to Jesus, who has been living in seclusion, saving souls and baptizing people. With his trusty cohorts Mary Magnum and the retired Mexican Wrestling Federation champion El Santos, Jesus does battle with the forces of darkness.
The movie is not meant to be taken too seriously. It attempts to be a camp classic, and I must admit, it succeeds beautifully. My friends and I kept laughing throughout the movie. It was so much more fun that any of us expected. The acting was campy, the "special effects" budget was a ... bottle of glitter, and the fight scenes were, well, really, really horrible.
However, throughout all of this, the movie still remained very positive. The ending scene with the "Sermon on the Mount" ("Sermon from the Gazebo"?) had some very good points. The music was also pretty good.
If your religious sensibilities are easily offended, you will probably not like this movie. If you have a sense of humor, you will. While the movie pushed some boundaries, I didn't see anything offensive about it.
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
By mr. snrub
Format:DVD|Amazon Verified Purchase
JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER is one of the weidest movies ever made. It's the kind of movie that's so bad, it's good. It's too low-budget, low-brow, and low-profile to love, yet too light-hearted intentionallly hilarious, and unintenionally hilarious to hate. It's way too goofy and to keen on the teachings of Jesus to be a sacrelige, yet to poorly finaced, written, and choreograhped to be an award-winner. As a Vampire movie, it's no BLADE; as a martial arts movie, it's no ONG BAK; as a religious movie, it's no PASSION OF THE CHRIST.
But as a bad, bad, bad movie, it's no SOUL PLANE. Now that's a blessing from God if I've ever seen one.
Jesus of Nazereth (Phil Caracas) is in Ottawa, once again teaching people to love one another and be more spiritual. But vampires are running wild in Ottawa,able to withstand sunlight with human flesh graphted onto their bodies and Jesus decides to put off his spiritual quest to fight the vampires, who are particualry enamored by lesbians for blood. Armed with wooden stakes, some holy kung fu and allied with masked Mexican wrestlin Champ El Santo (Jeff Moffet), Jesus heads to the local barber shop for a shave and a hair cut. He aquires another ally in the form of Mary Magnum (Maria Moulton), and is now ready for action!!!
JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER is everything theaverage student film is: Poorly made, poorly written, hilariously entartinaing in it's sheer lack of anything that could be called a budget, etc. It's also intentionally funny and enterataing. The musical number, with Jesus rallying Canadians all over Ottawa to his cause while healing people of their various handicaps, is perfectly funny and captivating; apparantly, the filmmakers drew as much on JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR as they vampire and kung fu movies.
The martial arts sequences are another story. Being a blackbelt myself, I have long entertained the notion of Jesus as a martial artist. Even though in his life, there is no record of him having any martial arts training, his teachings make him, in my eyes, a true martial artist. But on the physical end of martial arts, Jesus is not too good. The big fight occurs in a big park full of people who completely ignore Jesus beating up an army of Atheists. Yes, that's right, Atheists, who come at him a waves of five (the movie's director, Lee Gordon Demabre, apparently thinks thirty-six people can fit into a jeep) and are defeated with Jesus giving some of the sloppiest kicks ever captured on film. The very fact the there is NOBODY in the movie who is any good, and EVERYBODY engages in fight after fight, is an amusing, hilarious, if boneheaded concept. The same can be said for the movie's narrator, and the spinning cross that comes as a direct reference the 1960's BATMAN series
But of course, you can't make a movie about Jesus without biblical messages, even if he is hunting vampires. Jesus actually talks to God through a bowl of cherries ("Call your mom; she misses you" the Almighty intones); He heals a vampire's throat after slitting it ("Not even this separates you from my love"); experiences a modern-day good samaritan experience first-hand; And gives a sermon on a mount. Jesus also questions why the vampires select lesbians for their skin-grafting experimnets; he is told that their deviant lifestyle makes them ir-redeemable in the eye's of the Church, so no pries will bother investigating this "Critical Lesbian Shortage". And Jesus says something I honesty suspect he would say about Gays, "There's nothing deviant about love." And trust me, I'm not Gay.
JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER is a movie that must be seen to be believed, not for it's martial arts action, not for it's messages about accepting gays as children of God, not for being a biblical movie, but for being definitive proof that any really, really bad movie can be funny, when it means to be, and when it doesn't.
But as a bad, bad, bad movie, it's no SOUL PLANE. Now that's a blessing from God if I've ever seen one.
Jesus of Nazereth (Phil Caracas) is in Ottawa, once again teaching people to love one another and be more spiritual. But vampires are running wild in Ottawa,able to withstand sunlight with human flesh graphted onto their bodies and Jesus decides to put off his spiritual quest to fight the vampires, who are particualry enamored by lesbians for blood. Armed with wooden stakes, some holy kung fu and allied with masked Mexican wrestlin Champ El Santo (Jeff Moffet), Jesus heads to the local barber shop for a shave and a hair cut. He aquires another ally in the form of Mary Magnum (Maria Moulton), and is now ready for action!!!
JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER is everything theaverage student film is: Poorly made, poorly written, hilariously entartinaing in it's sheer lack of anything that could be called a budget, etc. It's also intentionally funny and enterataing. The musical number, with Jesus rallying Canadians all over Ottawa to his cause while healing people of their various handicaps, is perfectly funny and captivating; apparantly, the filmmakers drew as much on JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR as they vampire and kung fu movies.
The martial arts sequences are another story. Being a blackbelt myself, I have long entertained the notion of Jesus as a martial artist. Even though in his life, there is no record of him having any martial arts training, his teachings make him, in my eyes, a true martial artist. But on the physical end of martial arts, Jesus is not too good. The big fight occurs in a big park full of people who completely ignore Jesus beating up an army of Atheists. Yes, that's right, Atheists, who come at him a waves of five (the movie's director, Lee Gordon Demabre, apparently thinks thirty-six people can fit into a jeep) and are defeated with Jesus giving some of the sloppiest kicks ever captured on film. The very fact the there is NOBODY in the movie who is any good, and EVERYBODY engages in fight after fight, is an amusing, hilarious, if boneheaded concept. The same can be said for the movie's narrator, and the spinning cross that comes as a direct reference the 1960's BATMAN series
But of course, you can't make a movie about Jesus without biblical messages, even if he is hunting vampires. Jesus actually talks to God through a bowl of cherries ("Call your mom; she misses you" the Almighty intones); He heals a vampire's throat after slitting it ("Not even this separates you from my love"); experiences a modern-day good samaritan experience first-hand; And gives a sermon on a mount. Jesus also questions why the vampires select lesbians for their skin-grafting experimnets; he is told that their deviant lifestyle makes them ir-redeemable in the eye's of the Church, so no pries will bother investigating this "Critical Lesbian Shortage". And Jesus says something I honesty suspect he would say about Gays, "There's nothing deviant about love." And trust me, I'm not Gay.
JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER is a movie that must be seen to be believed, not for it's martial arts action, not for it's messages about accepting gays as children of God, not for being a biblical movie, but for being definitive proof that any really, really bad movie can be funny, when it means to be, and when it doesn't.
16 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:DVD
A new filmmaker looking to make his first big hit horror movie will probably make one of the following three pictures: a slasher movie, a vampire movie, or a zombie movie. It's not surprising to see why. Most likely the director in question grew up watching George Romero's Dead Trilogy, "Friday the 13th" and "Halloween," and Hammer films starring Christopher Lee as Count Dracula. You go with what you know at first, and you also go with a format you respect and enjoy. The result of most of these first directorial efforts on the slasher, zombie, or vampire canon is negligible; they add nothing to the canon due to their derivative nature. That's acceptable, however, because out of a hundred or so carbon copies will come one or two films that are original enough to redefine the genre. The Canadian ultra-low budget film "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" is just such a movie. Here is a film so fun and unique that you almost don't realize, let alone mind, that you are watching what is essentially another vampire movie, with all the attendant baggage that label brings. Extremely low budget films set off warning bells nowadays, but "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" is the rare diamond in the rough.
Right from the start I loved this film. Why? Because the opening credits and music were the best I've seen in a long time. Imagine seeing headshots of all the characters done up in a style reminiscent of early 1980s video game graphics with a robotic voice (vox?) reading off their names. Trust me, it's far cooler than I'm making it sound. I replayed the credits at least three times before I even started watching the film! As for the picture itself, I think describing it as a horror/comedy/action/musical covers all the bases. Jesus Christ (Phil Caracas) returns to earth at the behest of Father Eustace (Tim Devries) and a few other men of the cloth to help prevent vampires from taking over the planet. It's a daunting task made worse by the evil machinations of Dr. Praetorious (Josh Grace), a mad scientist type churning out new vampires by the dozens in his laboratory. The forces arrayed against the Son of God are formidable, including the beautiful Maxine Shreck (Murielle Varheiyi) and leader of the vamp pack Johnny Golgotha (Ian Driscoll). After a kung fu battle on the beach that sees Jesus fending off Shreck and her minions, the messiah hooks up with an unlikely ally in the form of Mary Magnum (Maria Moulton), who helps our hero acquire the necessary clothing and haircut one apparently needs in a battle against the undead. Unfortunately, Christ must also stray from his mission to battle a vanload of atheists who take exception to a challenge of their belief system.
The war against vampirism finds Jesus enlisting unlikely allies, primarily a Mexican wrestler named El Santos (Jeff Moffet) but also the advice of his father, the Supreme Being himself, channeled through an ice cream sundae. Even a priest sporting a mohawk arrives on the scene to lend a hand when needed. Christ and his helpers are surprisingly successful in their campaigns. They bring the fight to the bloodsuckers at a bar featuring the dubious musical talents of Blind Jimmy Leper (Lucky Ron), a fight where El Santo and Jesus uses everything from stakes to toothpicks to drop the evil ones in their tracks. The denouement is a highly amusing kung fu fight to the finish in a junkyard, with the principals leaping over cars, zipping around on motorcycles, and delivering swift karate kicks with all the panache of a novice just signed up to their first marital arts class. In between these bouts of bone crunching mayhem, Jesus spreads his father's message to the masses while prancing through the streets of the city singing, dancing, and healing those unfortunate wretches consigned to walkers and wheelchairs. It seems the man from Judea has lost none of his ability to perform miracles, even when transplanted to the icy climes of the Great White North.
Horror/comedy/action/musical film indeed! Director Lee Demarbre is either totally insane or has a sure eye for the subtly brilliant. While there are a few things that don't work at all or run on far too long, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" screams cult classic for the ages. We've all seen filmmakers that set out from the beginning to make a cult classic only to fail miserably (see "Jane White is Sick and Twisted"), apparently because they don't understand that you cannot intentionally make a cult classic. A movie becomes a cult fave through an inexplicable confluence of events totally beyond the control of a director or anyone else associated with the picture. Fortunately, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" pulls it off. The acting, the soundtrack, the pacing, the musical numbers, the beautiful girl next door actress in the role of Magnum along with the goth sleekness of the babe playing the Shreck character--all of these things and more work wonderfully. Moreover, while Demarbre and his script take sly jabs at the Catholic Church, the jabs are never done out of malice. Heck, Jesus opens up a can of you know what on all those atheists.
A huge number of extras graces the DVD version of the film. A commentary track, trailer, interviews with most of the principals, stills, deleted scenes, and a short kung fu spoof called "Harry Knuckles" also starring Phil Caracas all give the viewer more insight into this amazing production. The only thing missing in the supplements are interviews with Maria Moulton or Murielle Varheiyi, an unfortunate omission one hopes will be remedied on a future disc release. I enjoyed the film so much that I'm hoping and waiting for a sequel!
Right from the start I loved this film. Why? Because the opening credits and music were the best I've seen in a long time. Imagine seeing headshots of all the characters done up in a style reminiscent of early 1980s video game graphics with a robotic voice (vox?) reading off their names. Trust me, it's far cooler than I'm making it sound. I replayed the credits at least three times before I even started watching the film! As for the picture itself, I think describing it as a horror/comedy/action/musical covers all the bases. Jesus Christ (Phil Caracas) returns to earth at the behest of Father Eustace (Tim Devries) and a few other men of the cloth to help prevent vampires from taking over the planet. It's a daunting task made worse by the evil machinations of Dr. Praetorious (Josh Grace), a mad scientist type churning out new vampires by the dozens in his laboratory. The forces arrayed against the Son of God are formidable, including the beautiful Maxine Shreck (Murielle Varheiyi) and leader of the vamp pack Johnny Golgotha (Ian Driscoll). After a kung fu battle on the beach that sees Jesus fending off Shreck and her minions, the messiah hooks up with an unlikely ally in the form of Mary Magnum (Maria Moulton), who helps our hero acquire the necessary clothing and haircut one apparently needs in a battle against the undead. Unfortunately, Christ must also stray from his mission to battle a vanload of atheists who take exception to a challenge of their belief system.
The war against vampirism finds Jesus enlisting unlikely allies, primarily a Mexican wrestler named El Santos (Jeff Moffet) but also the advice of his father, the Supreme Being himself, channeled through an ice cream sundae. Even a priest sporting a mohawk arrives on the scene to lend a hand when needed. Christ and his helpers are surprisingly successful in their campaigns. They bring the fight to the bloodsuckers at a bar featuring the dubious musical talents of Blind Jimmy Leper (Lucky Ron), a fight where El Santo and Jesus uses everything from stakes to toothpicks to drop the evil ones in their tracks. The denouement is a highly amusing kung fu fight to the finish in a junkyard, with the principals leaping over cars, zipping around on motorcycles, and delivering swift karate kicks with all the panache of a novice just signed up to their first marital arts class. In between these bouts of bone crunching mayhem, Jesus spreads his father's message to the masses while prancing through the streets of the city singing, dancing, and healing those unfortunate wretches consigned to walkers and wheelchairs. It seems the man from Judea has lost none of his ability to perform miracles, even when transplanted to the icy climes of the Great White North.
Horror/comedy/action/musical film indeed! Director Lee Demarbre is either totally insane or has a sure eye for the subtly brilliant. While there are a few things that don't work at all or run on far too long, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" screams cult classic for the ages. We've all seen filmmakers that set out from the beginning to make a cult classic only to fail miserably (see "Jane White is Sick and Twisted"), apparently because they don't understand that you cannot intentionally make a cult classic. A movie becomes a cult fave through an inexplicable confluence of events totally beyond the control of a director or anyone else associated with the picture. Fortunately, "Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter" pulls it off. The acting, the soundtrack, the pacing, the musical numbers, the beautiful girl next door actress in the role of Magnum along with the goth sleekness of the babe playing the Shreck character--all of these things and more work wonderfully. Moreover, while Demarbre and his script take sly jabs at the Catholic Church, the jabs are never done out of malice. Heck, Jesus opens up a can of you know what on all those atheists.
A huge number of extras graces the DVD version of the film. A commentary track, trailer, interviews with most of the principals, stills, deleted scenes, and a short kung fu spoof called "Harry Knuckles" also starring Phil Caracas all give the viewer more insight into this amazing production. The only thing missing in the supplements are interviews with Maria Moulton or Murielle Varheiyi, an unfortunate omission one hopes will be remedied on a future disc release. I enjoyed the film so much that I'm hoping and waiting for a sequel!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
The Second Coming is upon us! Jesus Christ has returned to save the lesbians of Ottawa from an evil vampire cult using his powerful kung fu punch in JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER! Read more
Published 3 months ago by Carl Manes
4.0 out of 5 stars
I'm the only one that enjoyed this?
The scene with the atheists getting out of the car made this purchase worth it to me. BODY OF CHRIST!
Published 4 months ago by Eric
1.0 out of 5 stars
Woe Unto Thee
Although fiction may use real people and real events along with or instead of imaginary characters, my view is that it crosses the line and becomes an egregious act of slanderous... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Knight Poet
2.0 out of 5 stars
needs help from heaven
I turned this turkey dark after an hour. I debated if I should finish it. but some videos get better. this one for example. the last half was sort of good... what was wrong?. Read more
Published 16 months ago by whey2kewl
3.0 out of 5 stars
corny in a good way
This film gives the impression that the seemingly punkrockers who made this B film had much fun doing so, and this is one of the better low-budget films Ive seen. Read more
Published 21 months ago by kaoskitty
5.0 out of 5 stars
He came from Heaven, Two Stakes in his Hands
I cannot express the sheer joy I felt while I watched Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. It's not hoity toity 'cinema' and it doesn't pretend to be. Read more
Published on March 20, 2011 by L Austinspace
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great Film
This is a very good film.
These Canadians are good at making films efficiently.
This is the best vampire film I have seen.
These Canadians are good at making films efficiently.
This is the best vampire film I have seen.
Published on December 28, 2010 by Ryan Costa
4.0 out of 5 stars
Campy and fun
You can tell from the title that this movie is not serious. Jesus returns to Earth with a new mission--to save us from vampires. These vampires can go out in broad daylight. Read more
Published on September 25, 2010 by Thomas H. Fields
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fantastic Film!
I love this movie! It is hilarious, with many memorable moments and is fantastic, B-movie satire.
Published on August 17, 2010 by Liz
4.0 out of 5 stars
Intentionally Bad Films Can Be Good
Forget going into this movie with any expectations of plot, taste, or anything making sense. It's not gonna happen and that, my fellow movie reviewers, is the point. Read more
Published on March 22, 2010 by Michael Kwiatkowski
