Christian Men Who Hate Women [Paperback]

Margaret Rinck (Author)

Book Description

Series: Lifelines for Recovery | Publication Date: June 11, 1990

Christian Men Who Hate Women is a long-needed book about hurting relationships in Christian marriage -- the kind of marriage in which Christian women love men who hate them. Dr. Margaret Josephson Rinck stresses that since the subject of abuse 'seems to be such a taboo in the Christian community,' it's necessary for us all to become aware of our own views concerning abuse. Rinck examines in detail - how women-hating relationships begin - what happens in these relationships - how both parties contribute to the problem - the role of the church in such a relationship -- She writes that 'we need to set women -- and men -- free from the terrible bondage that entraps them in patterns of misogynistic behavior and relationships.' Nor should the blame be exclusively assigned to the 'bad guy' in the relationship, she points out, because 'both the man and woman . . . have learned early in life to respond to pain with different mechanisms.' For men and women afflicted by misogyny, Christian Men Who Hate Women offers hope for reversing deeply established patterns of relating to and coping with cruelly.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Rinck addresses primarily evangelical and fundamentalist Christians who may deny or excuse abuse of women and children under the guise of encouraging "biblical principles" of submission or who may use Christian teachings of the indissolubility of marriage as justification for remaining in abusive relationships. The book provides good, clear analysis of how such relationships develop and continue, and how both parties--and sometimes pastors or the church--collude in their continuance. The book also includes suggestions about therapeutic treatment and about the role of the local church.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Back Cover

Christian Men Who Hate Women is a long-needed book about hurting relationships in Christian marriage -- the kind of marriage in which Christian women love men who hate them. Dr. Margaret Josephson Rinck stresses that since the subject of abuse "seems to be such a taboo in the Christian community," it's necessary for us all to become aware of our own views concerning abuse. Rinck examines in detail - how women-hating relationships begin - what happens in these relationships - how both parties contribute to the problem - the role of the church in such a relationship -- She writes that "we need to set women -- and men -- free from the terrible bondage that entraps them in patterns of misogynistic behavior and relationships." Nor should the blame be exclusively assigned to the "bad guy" in the relationship, she points out, because "both the man and woman . . . have learned early in life to respond to pain with different mechanisms." For men and women afflicted by misogyny, Christian Men Who Hate Women offers hope for reversing deeply established patterns of relating to and coping with cruelly.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan (June 11, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310517516
• ISBN-13: 978-0310517511
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #412,045 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Margaret Josephson Rinck is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Cincinnati, OH, and the author of Can Christians Love Too Much? In addition to authoring numerous courses and audio programs on skills training and interpersonal relationships, she periodically conducts psychotherapy groups for "Women Who Love Too Much."

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 71 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You're Not Alone, August 18, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Christian Men Who Hate Women (Paperback)

This is a great book!! After you're done reading this, please read "Verbally Abusive Relationships - How to recognize them and how to respond" by Patricia Evans. This is a secular book but it is great!!! I see myself and my husband throughout these books and these books give you courage to make changes - but you need a good therapist that is well versed in this area to help you. If after your therapy and reading you are seriously considering divorce, you will need to feel a lot of God's Grace and to help you realize that He has plenty for you, read: "Breaking and Mending - Divorce and God's Grace" by Mary Lou Redding. To the Pastors, Elders, Home Group Leaders and especially the regular parishoners - don't judge us lest you be judged. Read these books before you shake your fingers at us, whisper behind our backs, ask us to leave your church, tell us we're not being spiritual enough, and we aren't spending time in the Word. Instead offer us your support, love, and compassion. Believe us that we have considered all our options, that we have given it a "fair chance" and we are taking our children into consideration. While some of us may not be able to break the generations of divorce, we can break the generations of abuse. We have spent many nights crying and praying over our decision but only after spending YEARS on our knees praying for a miracle in our marriage,going to counselor after counselor. Meanwhile, our husbands take no responsibility, refuse to do any work or do minimal counseling. I am starting to believe that what God wants for me and my children is a life of peace and joy and we can't do that when we're living a life of hell. Abuse is abuse whether it's physical or verbal. P.S. If you are a marriage counselor, please be loving & humble enough to admit when you have reached your knowledge and refer wives like us to those that are trained in this area - even if you suspect it!

31 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars From a Dude, who learned from this book, thank God, August 3, 2006

By 

mr john doe "dude" (Mainland, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Christian Men Who Hate Women (Paperback)

I was a Type I kind of misogynist, very subtle but controlling husband, and I was horrified to realize I had this issue, lucky for my wife someone got her this book because of course, I was always "right" in our "christian couseling" and someone finally saw my lack of feelings, and all that junk and fingered me out, and when i realized what was going on, this subtle thing, I went to PROFESSIONAL counseling for quite a while and had to really "come out" of my shell and be a REAL man, this book was the begining, and a super life saver, that was 8 years into my marriage, now, 11 years later, on my 19th year of marriage I am the true man my wife always dreamed of an I like myself better too. I would say in this sad day where fathers are wimps and mohters are controlling (for good reason) that there is an epidemic and will continue to be an epidemic of young men who have no idea what real manhood is about and this book is before it's time, so sad to see, but if you search, the truth is out there, you gotta just really want it, this book provides some amazing truth, should be re-printed a zillion times for people.

46 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Is this my biography or what?, April 21, 2002

By 

Jill Barrett (Independence, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Christian Men Who Hate Women (Paperback)

I can't say enough good things about this book. I bet I have read it ten times and I'm still reeling from the insightfulness of it. If you are married to a man--or in the process of separation or divorce from one--who thinks women are sex objects, baby machines, and irrational ditzes, given to men by God to slave for the men and "submit" to their abuse, AND HE CLAIMS TO BE A CHRISTIAN, get this book!!!

This book has a wealth of stories about real couples with whom Dr. Rinck has interacted, that you will really be able to relate to if you are married to a cold, emotionless (except for lust and rage) "Christian" male chauvinist. Dr. Rinck also does a good job of separating the controversies about biblical interpretation on male and female roles from the grim reality of domestic abuse among Christians, on which everyone should be able to agree.

When I read this book, it gave me the strength to continue with my divorce and not go back to a nightmarish marriage. I was given enough insight to see through my husband's fog machine of religious verbiage about "forgiving" and "starting over in Christ" for the manipulation that it was. And all of the nights of crying into my pillow, wondering whether I was losing my mind and feeling guilty because my "loving Christian" husband kept viciously turning on me for no reason, suddenly made sense.

What can I say? I was blind, but now I see. And I have this author to thank for it.