This book warns and informs readers about the fringe churches and groups that operate with abusive styles, creating emotional and spiritual perils for their adherents.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
56 of 58 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
There is a myth out there that unless the church is part of some far-out cult it is 100% safe.
The truth is there are churches that abuse, even in mainline and evangelical protestant denominations.
The book perpetuates the myth some as the examples are given from more cult-ish groups.
No, not every church abuses. Sometimes otherwise healthy, vibrant churches can have unhealth, abusive pockets or sub-groups in them due to the negative influence of one or two leaders. And emotionally abusive parents can visit spiritual abuse on their children even in an overall healthy church.
The outline of the chapters in the book gives an excellent guide for evaluating one's church experience and if it is abusive:
Ten characteristics of churches that abuse:
* Abusive churches use fear, guilt and threats:
1. Control-oriented leadership
2. Manipulation of members
* Abusive churches see themselves as special:
3. Spiritual elitism (e.g., dogmatism)
4. Perceived persecution
* Abusive churches foster rigidity:
5. Lifestyle rigidity (e.g., legalism, performance oriented)
6. Emphasis on experience (e.g., experience of leaders is key source of truth)
* Abusive churches discourage questions:
7. Suppression of dissent (e.g., dogmatism--only our view is right; "trust and obey")
8. Harsh discipline (e.g., legalism, shunning, control of dating & family relationships, etc.)
* Abusive churches make leaving painful:
9. Denunciation of other churches (e.g. salvation is only through us, our brand of faith)
10. A painful exit process (shunning, humiliation, starting over in relationships and/or financially)
28 of 30 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I believe we all know of people who have been in abusive relationships and even abusive job situations but it is sometimes hard to imagine people getting involved in abusive churches. That is why this book is a must read for every disciple.
This book exposes abusive churches. Dr. Enroth even names names. Every chapter opens with an abusive story. Each person is real. Each person has been hurt by abusive churches. The irony is that the leaders discussed in the book fail to see their abuses. Many try to cover them up or simply ignore the pain they have dealt to others.
In the end, I appreciated Dr. Enroth showing the reader that Jesus is not the abuser. While most of these religious groups claim to be speaking in His name or even quote Scripture, they have twisted the teachings and practices of Jesus to be something He never intended (1 John 5:1-4). Truly, Jesus is not like men (Hebrews 13:8) and He will not cause us the pain that is found in this book (Matthew 11:28-30).
This book exposes abusive churches. Dr. Enroth even names names. Every chapter opens with an abusive story. Each person is real. Each person has been hurt by abusive churches. The irony is that the leaders discussed in the book fail to see their abuses. Many try to cover them up or simply ignore the pain they have dealt to others.
In the end, I appreciated Dr. Enroth showing the reader that Jesus is not the abuser. While most of these religious groups claim to be speaking in His name or even quote Scripture, they have twisted the teachings and practices of Jesus to be something He never intended (1 John 5:1-4). Truly, Jesus is not like men (Hebrews 13:8) and He will not cause us the pain that is found in this book (Matthew 11:28-30).
29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This book was published in 1991. But the central message is as true now as it was then. The church can be a wonderful source of comfort, spiritual guidance and fellowship to Christians. But unfortunately, there are churches -- some of them seemly "mainstream" -- that exercise too much authority in the lives of the people who attend them.
Ronald Enroth gives a list of red flags to look out for to indicate an abusive church. For me, one of them stands out strongly: when a particular person in the church (often, but not always, the pastor) announces him/herself as the channel through which God is working and that obedience to that person is a sign of being truly submitted to God. Some of them will even go as far as to say that if they are wrong, God can still use that for the ultimate good.
Well -- technically, that could be right. If you'll pardon a cliche, God can and does make lemonade out of lemons all the time. But nowhere does the Bible teach that we are to deliberately subject our judment, spiritual discernment and independent thinking to another person.
Since the book was written over 13 years ago, some of the groups Enroth describes may have changed -- but the warning is still there, and it is good for Christians to be aware that there are people who want to steal away the freedom that Jesus Christ can give. He explains why this can happen and gives suggestions on how to either avoid it or get out of the abusive situation.
This book is at its best when reviewed a lot.
Ronald Enroth gives a list of red flags to look out for to indicate an abusive church. For me, one of them stands out strongly: when a particular person in the church (often, but not always, the pastor) announces him/herself as the channel through which God is working and that obedience to that person is a sign of being truly submitted to God. Some of them will even go as far as to say that if they are wrong, God can still use that for the ultimate good.
Well -- technically, that could be right. If you'll pardon a cliche, God can and does make lemonade out of lemons all the time. But nowhere does the Bible teach that we are to deliberately subject our judment, spiritual discernment and independent thinking to another person.
Since the book was written over 13 years ago, some of the groups Enroth describes may have changed -- but the warning is still there, and it is good for Christians to be aware that there are people who want to steal away the freedom that Jesus Christ can give. He explains why this can happen and gives suggestions on how to either avoid it or get out of the abusive situation.
This book is at its best when reviewed a lot.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars
Confirming what you may expect!
This book confirms what you may already suspect in an authoritarian church. Not all of it applies to every situation, but you will find your situation if you are a part of it.
Published 14 months ago by hdfpb
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helped me see the light
I have been a part of several abusive churches and when I was in these churches I don't think I really could see the light of day and there were people who tried to tell me that I... Read more
Published 18 months ago by F. R. Nickles Jr.
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very Informative and Very Helpful. Awesome.
I admire the way the author wrote this book. He wrote it fairly, without judgement or belittlement of churches/leaders. He researched the subject matter for a number of years. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Andrea
1.0 out of 5 stars
church book
I never recieved my book can u send me tracking information to find out where it is. thank u Judith
Published on August 10, 2010 by Judith A. Dejesus
2.0 out of 5 stars
Churches that abuse
Very preachy and boring. Doesn't hit on the topic of the book.Not satisfied with book at all.
Published on April 26, 2010 by Ramona C. Lopez
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must read for serious leaders
I have a few books on my shelf on this topic, but this one was the most impact-full to me in terms of its intensity. Read more
Published on June 18, 2008 by Duane Waller
5.0 out of 5 stars
I've been a victim
There are extreme forms of church abuse and subtle forms. As we grow as individuals we need to learn how to use our wisdom to prevent us from getting involved in abusive situations... Read more
Published on November 24, 2007 by Charity Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars
The examples may be outdated, but the mentality is eternal
In a world of "mega-churches" and cults of personality, it more important to arm oneself with the truth, and not someone else's version of it. Read more
Published on May 28, 2006 by J. Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful
This book is helpful and encouraging. Find the life in it and you'll be glad you read it.
Published on February 2, 2006 by R. Callicotte
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Book Worth Reading.
This is a excellant book. Not only for active Christians to read and study, but also for those who have been hurt in life, by Churches that have abused them. Read more
Published on November 30, 2004 by arover2
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