Citizen You!: Helping Your Government Help Itself [Paperback]

The Better Citizenship Bureau (Author), Joe Garden (Author), Mike Loew (Author), Randy Ostrow (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 4, 2004

Will you be ready when FBI agents break down your door in the middle of the night to administer the annual Patriotism Pop Quiz? Avoid the embarrassment of permanent, extralegal incarceration. Buy Citizen You! now and memorize before it's too late! This is the only citizenship manual chosen by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft as mandatory reading under an obscure provision of the USA PATRIOT Act.

• Illuminate your body, mind, and soul with the cleansing light of Freedom™ that shines from the pages of this powerful handbook!
• Read the only straight-shooting, authorized, legally binding code of behavior capable of saving you from mistakes of thought and deed that could land you in the clink forever!
• Learn what it means to be a good American, and how you can impress the authorities so that they'll leave you alone!
• Teach your children to respect God, the flag, our nation's brave Presidential Appointee George W. Bush, and most of all, Dick Cheney!
• Be a better American than your neighbors, then turn them in to the Department of Homeland Security for their traitorous behavior!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Mike Loew has been the Graphics Editor for The Onion since 1995. He was a co-author and produced the graphics for The Onion's New York Times #1 bestseller Our Dumb Century, and is the author of Tough Call. Joe Garden's story of being plucked from the obscurity of a Madison, WI, liquor store and thrust into the obscurity of byline-free satire writing has become legend. He has been a writer for The Onion for ten years. Randy Ostrow is a producer of films such as Let It Ride, State of Grace, Fresh, and Basquiat. Together, they are the The Better Citizenship Bureau.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: New Press, The (July 4, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1565849159
• ISBN-13: 978-1565849150
• Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 7 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,034,405 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An interesting read, July 7, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Citizen You!: Helping Your Government Help Itself (Paperback)

As a fan of the Onion I decided to check this book out. While not what I expected there are some great things here. It would've been easy for the authors to simply satirize the current administration, but they've done some serious research. Hidden beneath the jokes is some scary factual information (most sources are in the back of the book). Don't miss the bit about Rumsfeld and Aspartame (better known as Nutra Sweet). Also surprising is the 9/11 section. Instead of jokes, it contains around 80 questions that have yet to be answered about the 9/11 attacks. The sources are all there, so you can follow the trail that sparked the questions yourself if you doubt the authors.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and perceptive, June 12, 2005

By 

Mr Gee (UK) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Citizen You!: Helping Your Government Help Itself (Paperback)

This book is not only funny but a worryingly accurate portrayal of how those of us who live outside of America and her subversively censored media see your country's immediate future. Those reviewers who believe there are many facts that are `out-right lies' are unfortunately exactly the ones who are being attacked by this book. Yes there are exaggerations but please for the sake of every human being - think for yourselves, and don't be the sheep this book seeks to parody.

15 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Time to sit up and take notice., July 2, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Citizen You!: Helping Your Government Help Itself (Paperback)

This book has a great deal of humor, but the satire contains the frightening truth about what has happened to democracy in America. Intelligent, witty jokes about Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Ascroft and the rest are extremely entertaining, but every page holds evidence that the American people have not been adequately informed about the actions of their government, or the consequences those actions will have for us, our children, and who knows how many generations to come. This book reminds me of my responsibilities as a citizen, and I'm going to make sure everyone I know reads it, and I'm going to do my best to see that each and every one of them votes in November!