The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore: Bringing Hope and Radical Forgiveness to the Bewilderment, Betrayal, and Bitterness of Real Family Life [Paperback]

Laurie Sharlene Hall (Author)

Product Details

• Paperback: 218 pages
• Publisher: Servant Pubns (February 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1569551316
• ISBN-13: 978-1569551318
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,465,737 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A WHOLE NEW WAY OF SEEING FORGIVENESS-a life changing book!, April 1, 2001

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore: Bringing Hope and Radical Forgiveness to the Bewilderment, Betrayal, and Bitterness of Real Family Life (Paperback)

God doesn't want you to be a doormat--and forgiveness is MUCH more than just 'sucking it up' or 'forgetting and forgiving'. You may have heard "turn the other cheek" so many times--but as Laurie explains--that scripture is highly misunderstood and had a whole other meaning in Jesus' day. Jesus spoke for forgiveness-but He also spoke of a 'defiance' towards sin and abuse, and 'turning the other cheek' was a way of defying the one who would strike you--and winning back ones' dignity. This book about forgiveness gives a whole new way of looking at real forgiveness, radical forgiveness in a sound, scriptural way. The realities of betrayal and abandonment abused people feel were part of Jesus' pain on the cross- a topic rarely spoken about in the church.

Lauries' experience with her sexually-addicted husband, as well as disappointments and struggles with the Christian advice she often received, have produced a wisdom which is God inspired and gives hope to the hopeless. As the wife of a man addicted to pornography, I know how lies and deception can ruin not only your marriage, but yourself. This book changed my life and gave me back hope-- not a hope based on any certain outcome in my marriage, or my husbands recovery.

I was reminded of the scripture, "Above all else--guard your heart--for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23) I had a wrong idea of what forgiveness is--and I never understood what "tough love" was about.

A good complement to this book is "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend--which dispells the many myths of 'loving' people taking responsibility for each others' actions. I don't believe it sexist to say that women (especially Christian-women) are especially prone to this. The spouses of addicts even more so. May the peace of Jesus be with you."The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Ps. 34:18)

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Forgiveness isn't for Weanies, December 4, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore: Bringing Hope and Radical Forgiveness to the Bewilderment, Betrayal, and Bitterness of Real Family Life (Paperback)

As one chapter subtitle states, "Forgiveness isn't for weanies." If you've been asked to forgive a horrendous violation of trust or abuse, and been battered by the "just get over it" mentality, this book will show you why you can't, and help you get there from here. You can't forgive a wound that hasn't been validated, you just feel guilt for being angry over a wound that people say you shouldn't feel. Some help! Pornography, adultery, incest, these are the gifts that keep on giving, the pain never ends. Tell me how you can survey the devastation to your family and say it doesn't matter? Check out Joseph in the Old Testament with his brothers, after years, he still wails over his losses. To be asked to forgive in lesser ways, through stuffing or suppressing or glossing over, is a sure route to insanity. The cross of Christ establishes the victims right to just compensation. Yet, repentence is the sweetest vengence, while restored relationships just one possible gift of grace. Joseph shrewdly establishes his brothers repentance, and then forgives. Laurie Hall's incredibly funny, real book undoes all the junk we've had laid on us about forgiveness and restoration. I have read this book several times in order to fill my mind with truths that are both powerful to my own healing, and helpful to the restoration of my family.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Help on Every Page, March 30, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Cleavers Don't Live Here Anymore: Bringing Hope and Radical Forgiveness to the Bewilderment, Betrayal, and Bitterness of Real Family Life (Paperback)

Reading this book was like getting glasses for the first time. Now I can see the fine print and the big picture all at the same time. Laurie Hall makes hard concepts very practical and she's worked out all of her advice in her own life. Besides, she has a great sense of humor and that helps a lot because this is not a pretty subject. If your marriage and family life is less than ideal, it's never too late to read this great book.