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Click: The Forces Behind How We Fully Engage with People, Work, and Everything We Do Paperback – July 5, 2011

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

There is that special moment when two people click, rather than simply meet. The Brafman brothers (Sway) draw on a variety of sources to find the facts behind instant connections. Some are common sense: "When we get cues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return." Ingredients involved in clicking are categorized into "click accelerators" such as vulnerability, proximity, and similarity. The brothers examine situations such as job interviews, romantic encounters, and even hostage negotiations to reveal how physical proximity enhances the chances of relationship forming. People described as "high self-monitors" (think The Office's Andy Bernard) pick up on social cues and organically adjust their actions to manipulate the ways in which they're perceived. One interviewee who thrives on the social connections that come from traveling, says "even if it was once and you clicked with them, you have all these people sprinkled across the world. It ends up leading to a lot of wonderful opportunities that enrich your life." Psychology and sociology click into place for an engaging, eye-opening read.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"...serious research explained with interesting real life stories and presented in a short concise format. I think you'll click with it too."--Inc


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Business (July 5, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385529066
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385529068
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (68 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #216,820 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

New York Times bestselling Ori Brafman is the coauthor of The Starfish and the Spider, Sway, and Click. A renowned organizational expert, he regularly consults with Fortune 500 corporations and for the past three years has been working with General Martin Dempsey, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to introduce chaos theory into the Army. A graduate of Stanford Business School, he lives in San Francisco.

Ori has repeatedly pushed the envelope of thinking about leadership, decision-making, and human interaction via the three books he has co-authored: The Starfish & The Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations (2006), Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior (2008), and Click: The Magic of Instant Connections (2010). His newest book, The Chaos Imperative is about the need for organized chaos in organizations, and about his extensive work at the very top levels of the US military.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Chris on December 11, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I purchased this book because the title and general description interested me and seemed like a natural continuation of some other books I read. The book is a short and easy read, but it left me wanting. From the title, I thought it would be a real explanation behind how and why we engage with people, but it was more observational than exploratory.

My main issue with the book is that the central thesis of the book isn't at all surprising or thought-provoking. This is what I was able to gather of the major points of the work, which the authors sum up in the last chapter:
1. "Magic matters" - the pleasure center of our brain responds when we connect deeply with someone
2. "There's power in vulnerability" - We have stronger connections with others when we are willing to share more personal experiences with them
3. "A few feet make a big difference" - We are more likely to connect with those in close physical proximity to us than those that are further away from us
4. "Resonance begets resonance" - The closest thing to a salient point I can take from this is that when we give others real attention, they tend to return the favor. This back-and-forth leads to stronger relationships
5. "Similarity counts; quantity trumps quality" - We tend to connect with those who we share similarities with. Perhaps the only really remarkable point I found in this book is that these similarities can be entirely superficial; the most important factor is how many - and not which in particular - similarities we detect.
6. "The environment around us can help foster intimacy" - Self-explanatory
7. "Certain people are magnets" - There are some people who tend to connect more easily with others.
8.
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Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
The Brafman brothers are back. In their previous bestseller Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, these two (one a psychologist, the other a business consultant) looked at the hidden mental factors that sometimes get in the way of wholly rational decision making. In Click, they turn their attention to the hidden components behind human connections. What are the ingredients that increase likelihood of enduring and trusting connections? Why do some instances lead to 'clicking' and others do not?

The Brofmans' survey of the literature has yielded several factors that lend themselves to making personal connections (what they call "click accelerators": vulnerability, proximity, flow, similarity, environment, engagement, and (of course) a little magic. Each chapter is structured around one of these factors, explaining in lay terms the data around how each works to enhance the likelihood of personal connection.

To take two of these, let's look briefly at "proximity" and "environment." For the former, the authors detail several studies (one involving police cadets in Maryland, another college students) demonstrating that we are often closest to those who sit, live, or work physically close to us REGARDLESS OF COMMONALITY. In other words, when asked to list the cadets they are closest to, the police cadets consistently chose those who sat and worked near them, and this factor was a more powerful predictor than any other.

Now for "environment." Here, the authors' message is that one's surroundings play a crucial role in deciding whether the people in them will form relationships.
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30 of 34 people found the following review helpful By Michelle R on June 4, 2010
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
I selected Click because I generally like this type of book; however, there just didn't seem to be enough substance. Click is not a long book, by any means, but the information contained didn't even justify that length. If you sat people down and asked why people click, most fairly astute people could give you a fair summary of the findings of the authors. If the person has paid attention to similar topics in the past, he or she could do even better. People with things in common, who are similar, who spend time around one another, who go through traumas together, tend to click.

Okay.

I did find one of the first parts of the book to be interesting, when it was discussed how allowing yourself to be vulnerable aids connection with others. It's of course logical but I'd given it little thought in the past -- how when you trust someone with your feelings, a bond is forged, and how taking that leap of faith is a simple way to connect.

In the end though I really didn't feel that there was enough to this book to maintain interest and that it needed to be expanded. Books like this should make the reader understand more and see the world and their interactions with it in a new light, and I really don't think that happened here. It'd be interesting enough to check out of the library or buy at a greatly reduced price, but I feel underwhelmed when I take the lack of overall substance into account.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful By J. Lee on June 7, 2010
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Why do we sometimes just instantly "click" with people? The Brafman brothers have come up with a "recipe" they believe answers this question. And, they've written a well-organized, engaging and easy-to-read book which combines the results of interesting social psychology research with anecdotal stories to get it across.

Each ingredient of the recipe for making more immediate and deeper connections - which include making oneself vulnerable, proximity/touching, resonance, finding similarities, and environmental factors (like working together to overcome an adversary) - get their own chapter. The least useful or interesting of these for me was the chapter on Resonance, which seemingly just means being present and in the mentality that you want to connect.

But, the rest of it was incredibly fascinating to me. I particularly enjoyed the social psychology experiments they discuss - like pairing people up to work on a project and having half of their work partners casually touch them during the work, and the other half not to determine the importance of touch, or seeing if a person would donate more to someone if they shared the same birthday. As worthwhile are the great stories they interlace that demonstrate the powerful results that people can accomplish when they "click".

Bottom Line: Whether you want to improve professional or personal relationships, or just enjoy exploring human dynamics - you'll enjoy this book. And, unless you're already doing them all, I'll bet you find yourself at least trying out a couple of the things they mention.
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