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Click: The Magic of Instant Connections [Deckle Edge] [Hardcover]

Ori Brafman , Rom Brafman
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)


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Book Description

June 8, 2010
You know the feeling. You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.
 
In a word, you “click.”
 
From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.  
 
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged?  Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job? 
 
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is. 
 
In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
  
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.
 
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place.
 
Acclaim for Sway:

“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times
 
“A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune

"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."--Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?

“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company

"Count me swayed--but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."--Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence

"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."--Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

There is that special moment when two people click, rather than simply meet. The Brafman brothers (Sway) draw on a variety of sources to find the facts behind instant connections. Some are common sense: "When we get cues that we're liked, we're automatically drawn to like the other person in return." Ingredients involved in clicking are categorized into "click accelerators" such as vulnerability, proximity, and similarity. The brothers examine situations such as job interviews, romantic encounters, and even hostage negotiations to reveal how physical proximity enhances the chances of relationship forming. People described as "high self-monitors" (think The Office's Andy Bernard) pick up on social cues and organically adjust their actions to manipulate the ways in which they're perceived. One interviewee who thrives on the social connections that come from traveling, says "even if it was once and you clicked with them, you have all these people sprinkled across the world. It ends up leading to a lot of wonderful opportunities that enrich your life." Psychology and sociology click into place for an engaging, eye-opening read.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"...serious research explained with interesting real life stories and presented in a short concise format. I think you'll click with it too."--Inc

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Business; First Edition edition (June 8, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385529058
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385529051
  • Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 1 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #652,232 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Ori Brafman is a lifelong entrepreneur. His adventures include a wireless startup, health food advocacy group, and a network of CEOs working on public benefit projects. He holds a BA in Peace and Conflict Studies from UC Berkeley and an MBA from Stanford Business School.

Ori has repeatedly pushed the envelope of thinking about leadership, decision-making, and human interaction via the three books he has co-authored: The Starfish & The Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations (2006), Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior (2008), and Click: The Magic of Instant Connections (2010).

Customer Reviews

This book was fascinating to read. Tiger  |  14 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
35 of 37 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
The Brafman brothers are back. In their previous bestseller Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, these two (one a psychologist, the other a business consultant) looked at the hidden mental factors that sometimes get in the way of wholly rational decision making. In Click, they turn their attention to the hidden components behind human connections. What are the ingredients that increase likelihood of enduring and trusting connections? Why do some instances lead to 'clicking' and others do not?

The Brofmans' survey of the literature has yielded several factors that lend themselves to making personal connections (what they call "click accelerators": vulnerability, proximity, flow, similarity, environment, engagement, and (of course) a little magic. Each chapter is structured around one of these factors, explaining in lay terms the data around how each works to enhance the likelihood of personal connection.

To take two of these, let's look briefly at "proximity" and "environment." For the former, the authors detail several studies (one involving police cadets in Maryland, another college students) demonstrating that we are often closest to those who sit, live, or work physically close to us REGARDLESS OF COMMONALITY. In other words, when asked to list the cadets they are closest to, the police cadets consistently chose those who sat and worked near them, and this factor was a more powerful predictor than any other.

Now for "environment." Here, the authors' message is that one's surroundings play a crucial role in deciding whether the people in them will form relationships. Particularly of interest is that, as studies with war veterans have shown, the more traumatic and stressful the environment, the more likely the people in it are to become close. (My thoughts are that this goes nicely with the chapter on vulnerability, because those in stressful environments tend to depend on each other more, and hence show each other their vulnerabilities. That may well make their bond stronger).

All in all, I liked this book. I didn't find anything spectacular in it but I will chalk that as much up to personal interest as to the book's quality (I am mildly, but not excitedly, interested in its topic). There is not too terribly much surprising or counter-intuitive information in the book, but what it does do well is take something familiar (the feeling of clicking with others) and analyzes it in a way few of us really do. It will not be very useful to those (business folk, maybe) who want to learn how to improve interpersonal skills, as it offers little by way of concrete advice. For the rest of us, who are just interested in the psychology behind 'clicking,' the book is a good, interesting, and fairly quick read.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
Why do we sometimes just instantly "click" with people? The Brafman brothers have come up with a "recipe" they believe answers this question. And, they've written a well-organized, engaging and easy-to-read book which combines the results of interesting social psychology research with anecdotal stories to get it across.

Each ingredient of the recipe for making more immediate and deeper connections - which include making oneself vulnerable, proximity/touching, resonance, finding similarities, and environmental factors (like working together to overcome an adversary) - get their own chapter. The least useful or interesting of these for me was the chapter on Resonance, which seemingly just means being present and in the mentality that you want to connect.

But, the rest of it was incredibly fascinating to me. I particularly enjoyed the social psychology experiments they discuss - like pairing people up to work on a project and having half of their work partners casually touch them during the work, and the other half not to determine the importance of touch, or seeing if a person would donate more to someone if they shared the same birthday. As worthwhile are the great stories they interlace that demonstrate the powerful results that people can accomplish when they "click".

Bottom Line: Whether you want to improve professional or personal relationships, or just enjoy exploring human dynamics - you'll enjoy this book. And, unless you're already doing them all, I'll bet you find yourself at least trying out a couple of the things they mention.
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26 of 31 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars The Book Didn't Entirely Click For Me. June 4, 2010
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
I selected Click because I generally like this type of book; however, there just didn't seem to be enough substance. Click is not a long book, by any means, but the information contained didn't even justify that length. If you sat people down and asked why people click, most fairly astute people could give you a fair summary of the findings of the authors. If the person has paid attention to similar topics in the past, he or she could do even better. People with things in common, who are similar, who spend time around one another, who go through traumas together, tend to click.

Okay.

I did find one of the first parts of the book to be interesting, when it was discussed how allowing yourself to be vulnerable aids connection with others. It's of course logical but I'd given it little thought in the past -- how when you trust someone with your feelings, a bond is forged, and how taking that leap of faith is a simple way to connect.

In the end though I really didn't feel that there was enough to this book to maintain interest and that it needed to be expanded. Books like this should make the reader understand more and see the world and their interactions with it in a new light, and I really don't think that happened here. It'd be interesting enough to check out of the library or buy at a greatly reduced price, but I feel underwhelmed when I take the lack of overall substance into account.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Explaining th e sublime
Another great book by the Brafmans . They deconstruct the complex condition of intense human connections. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Mcconn 318
5.0 out of 5 stars Recommended in a CRS Class
I love thes authors, they achieve their goal by telling entertaining stories that really engage the reader. Entertainment while you learn...why is that a new concept?
Published 1 month ago by Deby Enlow Stagliano
2.0 out of 5 stars ehhhh
Had a tough time keeping interest in this book. not really sure the principles discussed are something that actually work. maybe im the monority?
Published 3 months ago by 4EverYoung
3.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable, but...
Enjoyable, but not really an in-depth read.

I felt this was much more the story of a couple (and it's a great story, don't get me wrong)than it was any amount of... Read more
Published 4 months ago by runningoutofideas
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining and useful
I ordered the book Click, the magic behind instant connections, because I sell real estate and it's important to make a connection with my buyers and sellers fairly quickly. Read more
Published 23 months ago by V. Linnean
4.0 out of 5 stars Ah, so THAT explains it!
Everyone's had that experience of an immediate, unexplained connection with someone else. This book by the brothers Brafman digs deep into that mysterious experience of instant... Read more
Published on January 31, 2011 by Lois Lain
5.0 out of 5 stars My new favorite book
As a long time community organizer there is nothing I am more passionate about than helping people connect with one another. Read more
Published on December 13, 2010 by groupworker
4.0 out of 5 stars Well worth this quick read
In the book "Click" the bestselling authors of the book "Sway", brothers Ori and Rom Brafman, offer another fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes... Read more
Published on December 3, 2010 by Bradley J. Brisco
5.0 out of 5 stars a must read if you're interested in the science of people
I just finished reading Click: The Magic of Instant Connections. It's a book that tries to answer the question of why do two people click with each other. Read more
Published on November 22, 2010 by Zachary Burt
3.0 out of 5 stars Just didn't 'click' for me. The book itself is sort of all over the...
Know your audience. This book tries to be a lot of things to a lot of people, and never quite succeeds. Read more
Published on November 17, 2010 by Abhinav Agarwal
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