Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle [Paperback]

Charlene C. Giannetti (Author), Margaret Sagarese (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 6, 2001

In the first book to focus on the traumatic effects caused by cliques in our schools, an acclaimed parenting-advice team offers a fresh perspective and an innovative eight-step program to turn around the culture of cruelty that torments all students.

There have always been "in crowds," but today's social pressures force children into explosive, destructive, and even life-threatening situations. No matter what role your child plays in this schoolhouse drama--clique leader, victim, or innocent bystander--this book is a must-read. Giannetti and Sagarese have honed in on this little-understood phenomenon and come up with insights that parents can use immediately. Read Cliques to understand:

* Who the clique leaders are in your child's school
* What you can do NOW to help your child avoid abuse
* Times during the day when cliques are visible to adults
* Where in your school you should start to lobby for change
* Why your "innocent bystander" may not be so innocent
* How you can rid your child of bully-like behavior

Cliques is more than just a manual for cheering your child on--it brings hope and a truly comprehensive understanding of adolescent society to the millions of families struggling against this divisive force. Within its pages, you will find the tools you need to make a difference.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Cliques has a twofold message: things are much worse in middle school than you think, and as a parent, there are specific steps you can and should take to make the situation better. The first claim is unnecessary--we all know that cruel stuff happens to kids in junior high school--but the authors go on to give advice about how to help your child survive.

The book addresses two different phenomena: bullying and cliques. The latter (those impenetrable social castes that admit and exclude children at whim) often employ "the fourth R--ridicule" to devastate the self-esteem of those who are "out." This tormenting of peers is not only random and cruel but also often criminal.

The book is divided into eight "steps," each a practical lesson, such as "Help Your Child Belong" and "Empower Your Victim." The sections end with a short, practical list of "Things You Can Do" (e.g., "Work on reducing the conflicts that disrupt your family") and "Things You Cannot Do" (e.g., "Make your child more popular"). The final step, "Lobby for Change," contains some practical advice on what you can do to make schools into kinder, gentler places. It is heartening to hear that programs set up and run by savvy, big-hearted kids have been some of the most effective in addressing the issues. --Richard Farr

From Publishers Weekly

The authors of The Roller Coaster Years, which PW named one of the Best Books of 1997, and Parenting 911 examine the subtle but powerful influence that peer pressure, most notably in the form of cliques, can have on children, generally starting during the middle school years (when kids are between the ages of 10 and 15), and offer parents effective aids to helping their kidsAwhether they are bullies, victims or observersAmanage the larger world of friendships and associations beyond their family at a time when they are also wrestling with issues of self-identity and self-worth. Among the authors' suggestions are "help your child develop... an objective view of cliques" and "help your child control emotions," but, they caution, there are certain things, such as "prevent[ing] others from judging your child," that are beyond parents' scope of control or influence. "Cliques deal in social power," aver Giannetti and Sagarese, and even those kids who are considered popular suffer from insecurities about whether or not they'll continue to fit in. In fact, Giannetti and Sagarese have found that kids in "middle friendship circles" (the clique into which most kids fall), who are neither competing for popularity nor are antisocial loners, are usually the happiest. Once again, Giannetti and Sagarese deliver a positive, proactive book for parents that offers cogent (often anecdotal) examples of particular problems that occur with social interaction among middle schoolers and presents effective strategies for handling them. Cliques can be a serious problem, but keeping things in perspective is helpful all the way around. Agent, Denise Marcil.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; 1 edition (February 6, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767906535
• ISBN-13: 978-0767906531
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #517,835 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read!, February 8, 2001

By 

TDE (Raleigh, NC USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle (Paperback)

I have this book and I love it....I have told all of my friends about it and wish I had it 2 years ago. My daughter is in 7th grade and is 12 so we are experiencing the clique thing big time. I feel by reading this book not only are you gaining the tools to help your own child but you are also able to better deal with other children as well which is very important for those of us who are involved in the schools as volunteers...ect. I would encourage all of you who have kids to get this book even if you don't feel your child is having peer problems..its a real eye opener!

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Absolute MUST read for parents and teachers, June 4, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle (Paperback)

This is the most important book on the social jungle that I have seen. I have taught school for 20 years and have a 14 year old daughter and a 10 year old son... I have read lots of books. This one should be required reading for teachers. The crises that are occurring in schools today can absolutely be traced to the clique behavior described in this book. It's time to open our eyes and recognize what is going on. This book gets the point across and gets started on doing something about it.

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars girls are bullies too!, March 2, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle (Paperback)

When I saw this title turned outward at a local bookstore, I thought hmmm, okay I will take a look. I'd say it is a must read for all parents and teachers as well. Believe it or not, these are daily occurances in our schools and they are robbing our children of self esteem and a healthy learning environment if we don't educate ourselves to the social problems and intervene when necessary. My daughter is a 6th grader this year and this book eerily told the story that is happening in her class right now. It helped me to explain to her that she is not dreaming--these scenarios are real and we can survive them. Bullies are everywhere and very powerful...and yes, they can be girls...take my word for it parents and read this book. It will empower you to help your child do for herself what ultimately she will have to do for a lifetime and that is survive the individuals that bully and use social status for manuevering through life.