Customer Reviews

Cliques: Eight Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle

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I have this book and I love it....I have told all of my friends about it and wish I had it 2 years ago. My daughter is in 7th grade and is 12 so we are experiencing the clique thing big time. I feel by reading this book not only are you gaining the tools to help your own child but you are also able to better deal with other children as well which is very important for those of us who are involved in the schools as volunteers...ect. I would encourage all of you who have kids to get this book even if you don't feel your child is having peer problems..its a real eye opener!

This is the most important book on the social jungle that I have seen. I have taught school for 20 years and have a 14 year old daughter and a 10 year old son... I have read lots of books. This one should be required reading for teachers. The crises that are occurring in schools today can absolutely be traced to the clique behavior described in this book. It's time to open our eyes and recognize what is going on. This book gets the point across and gets started on doing something about it.

When I saw this title turned outward at a local bookstore, I thought hmmm, okay I will take a look. I'd say it is a must read for all parents and teachers as well. Believe it or not, these are daily occurances in our schools and they are robbing our children of self esteem and a healthy learning environment if we don't educate ourselves to the social problems and intervene when necessary. My daughter is a 6th grader this year and this book eerily told the story that is happening in her class right now. It helped me to explain to her that she is not dreaming--these scenarios are real and we can survive them. Bullies are everywhere and very powerful...and yes, they can be girls...take my word for it parents and read this book. It will empower you to help your child do for herself what ultimately she will have to do for a lifetime and that is survive the individuals that bully and use social status for manuevering through life.

There is a wild animal that prowls around attacking children at my daughter's school . School officials can't do anything to stop it because its attacks seldom pierce the skin. But it is not unusual to find victims weeping in a corner asking "Why...?" Occasionally we can see that it was attracted by their clothes, or realize that it sensed they were weak, but sometimes we can only shake our heads. Charlene Gianetti has studied this creature--the social clique--and found that it must have blood in order to survive. In her book--"Cliques: 8 Steps to Help Your Child Survive the Social Jungle", she explains how these groups of school children are formed and the effects they have on the kids who are in them as well as on the children they exclude. At the core are 2 or 3 dominant children, she says. They manage to attract others who hover at the edges of the group, giving it substance and power. However, there must be outsiders in order for the clique to survive--people who can be taunted and blamed. Members realize that the unpleasant things they are doing to other children can be done to them, too, if they leave. Giannetti also tells parents how they can help their children who are caught in this situation or even worse, who are the attackers!

When I saw this title turned outward at a local bookstore, I thought hmmm, okay I will take a look. I'd say it is a must read for all parents and teachers as well. Believe it or not, these are daily occurances in our schools and they are robbing our children of self esteem and a healthy learning environment if we don't educate ourselves to the social problems and intervene when necessary. My daughter is a 6th grader this year and this book eerily told the story that is happening in her class right now. It helped me to explain to her that she is not dreaming--these scenarios are real and we can survive them. Bullies are everywhere and very powerful...and yes, they can be girls...take my word for it parents and read this book. It will empower you to help your child do for herself what ultimately she will have to do for a lifetime and that is survive the individuals that bully and use social status for manuevering through life.

Reading this book, you will probably realize that the "social disease" of destructive cliques is probably worse than you knew and solutions that you had considered may backfire. At the same time, you probably won't get any tangible solutions. The book enlists the support of parents of aggressors who probably aren't in its audience. The book advocates that affected children explore their feelings which has little effect on the causes. The problem of cliques boils down to an inability of parents and an unwillingness of school officials to stop it. This helplessness is dumbfounding. Any community has means of controlling its population, right down to military action, but has to choose to invoke that control. For example, our school has a policy against bullying and an acronym that incorporates the word "respect" but turns a blind eye and cold shoulder to social exclusion which is a form of bullying and of disrespect.

So what's a mere parent to do to protect a child entrusted to his or her care by definition of humanity? While unifying with other parents as suggested by the book can be advantageous, it may not be realistic. Here are some fresh ideas: demand that school personnel enforce civilized behavior; advocate through social media, file a lawsuit; ask parents about other school districts and transfer; home school; etc.

It's ridiculous that angry, uncivilized children rule and damage one of our most beloved and vulnerable populations but they do.

This book really opened my eyes to the difficulty of middle school. Every child is impacted in some way. If he/she is not directly involved, most likely he/she has seen this behavior. All parents have a responsibility to make sure their children are not mistreating other kids.

I actually have not read this book, but the authors came to my school and gave a talk about the book. I think that cliques are horrible, and this book educates us about the dangers they have and why we should stop them. As soon as I can, I'm going to try to find a copy of this and read it.