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Codependent No More & Beyond Codependency Hardcover – May, 2001


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Soul Shifts
There are pivotal moments in the lives of all seekers when we realize that we’ve been traveling on our path of growth toward happiness and ful­fillment, but, simply put, we want to go faster.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 492 pages
  • Publisher: Mjf Books; 1st edition (May 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1567312187
  • ISBN-13: 978-1567312188
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 1.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (74 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #21,405 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

This book is easy to understand and is very non-judgmental.
F.A.R.
It's a life changing book if you are open to really taking a look at your life and relationships.
Daria
I highly recommend these for anyone who struggles with having healthy relationships.
Robert Fox

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

189 of 190 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 31, 2001
Format: Hardcover
I have Codependent no more and beyond codependency and found it so helpful during such a dificult time in my life. I came here to order my sister her own copy because I am holding on to mine. When I saw the first review I was very disapointed because I would hate to think someone who needs the help this book has to offer may miss out upon reading that review. Its very annoying to me everytime I hear someone ignorantly say how they dont believe in codependency because its saying if you are loving and giving you are codependent. Thats rediculous! My husband is an alcoholic and went through rehab at Betty Ford. There is where I had the privelage of going through family week and learning so much. However I fought the codependent label because I just didnt get it at the time. Afterwards during my personal therapy my therapist suggested I read Mealodys books. Thats when the lights came on and suddenly so much became clear to me. There is absolutley nothing wrong with me being a very loving and giving person. However there was a problem with me giving to the point of hurting myself and not taking care of me. Another helpful book is "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. The books wont "fix" you. They can provide you with a wealth of knowlege to help you help yourself. Check out Dr Irene's website for imediate information on codependency.
Best of luck to you in changing your life for the better and finding that peaceful place.
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54 of 54 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 4, 2001
Format: Hardcover
This book was recommended to me by my therapist. I had no ideawhy, but in retrospect it may have been the nicest thing anyone hasdone for me. I was struggling to make sense of a bad, manipulativerelationship, and the book shed light on so many things that had foryears baffled me about myself. The second book fills in the cracksleft by the first book and explains the recovery process in moredetail, whereas the first dealt more in diagnosing the problem. Thebook deals a great deal with codependent people in relationships withalcohlics and drug addicts, but the information will help any onedealing with codependency. An excellent overall book oncodependency...
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56 of 58 people found the following review helpful By Jessica Lux on September 5, 2005
Format: Hardcover
Melody Beattie, a former addict, used to hate codependents (which she defines as "people who have let another person's behavior afect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior"). Codepdendents are most frequently the family members of alcoholics or drug users, but the definition is broad. Beattie thought codependents were hostile and detrimental to the recovery process. When she went through codependency herself, her eyes were opened to the world that these people live in, and to the potential for recovery if one can identify the problem and take positive steps to improve their life.

Codependent No More is a quick and easy read, and it will hit home if you have an alcoholic or a codependent (or both) in your life. Beattie provides example scenarios of codependecy, expounds upon the traits and self-defeating behaviors of codepdency, and provides self-help steps to move beyond codepdency. Although this isn't marketed as a workbook, Beattie provides checklists and open-ended questions at the end of each chapter, and a blank journal to record your reponses would be an excellent companion to the book.

Once you've finished Codependent No More, Beattie's next book (included in this two-for-one) Beyond Codepdency is a guide to the on-going recovery process. It also includes activities/questions to probe the reader's own experience and help him or her get a handle on their situation.

These two books are highly recommended and it is terrific that they are available in one volume.
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28 of 29 people found the following review helpful By ELANA on August 7, 2002
Format: Hardcover
What an important book. Recommended to me by a therapist. It has changed my life. Now I recommend it to others who want to start living theirs. It's excellent, buy it.
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19 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Robert Fox on August 7, 2007
Format: Hardcover
These two books have helped me learn how to take care of myself and how to love myself. These books spoke directly to me as if Melody knew me all my life. I read these after entering recovery from addiction only to find I had been codependent since childhood. These books have helped me learn how to be. They are like Life Handbooks that I never got. I am deeply grateful to Melody for these treasures. These books have done as much for me as biweekly visits to a therapist.

First, Codependent No More helped me see the extent of my codependence, which was like a cancer that affected every part of my life. It taught me how to detach with love, how to feel my own feelings, how to own my power, how to accept myself and others.

Beyond Codependency really put my recovery into action. It covers in simple concrete unambiguous terms how to deal with family of origin issues, how to set a boundary, how to deal with shame, and how to affirm myself. The chapter titled "Breaking Free" is a personal favorite.

How appropriate that these are combined into one. I personally prefer Beyond Codependency, but it is more the nuts and bolts, Codependent No More sets the stage and gives you the big picture.

I highly recommend these for anyone who struggles with having healthy relationships.
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More About the Author

Melody Beattie is one of America's most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles. Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term "codependency" in 1986. Millions of readers have trusted Melody's words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they're going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child. "Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift," said Time Magazine.

Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past.

"My mother was a classic codependent," Melody recalls. "If she had a migraine, she wouldn't take an aspirin because she didn't do drugs. She believed in suffering." Unlike her mother, Melody was determined to self-medicate her emotional pain. Beattie began drinking at age 12, was a full-blown alcoholic by age 13, and a junkie by 18, even as she graduated from high school with honors. She ran with a crowd called "The Minnesota Mafia" who robbed pharmacies to get drugs. After several arrests, a judge mandated that she had to "go to treatment for as long as it takes or go to jail."

Melody continued to score drugs in treatment until a spiritual epiphany transformed her. "I was on the lawn smoking dope when the world turned this purplish color. Everything looked connected--like a Monet painting. It wasn't a hallucination; it was what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls 'a spiritual awakening.' Until then, I'd felt entitled to use drugs. I finally realized that if I put half as much energy into doing the right thing as I had into doing wrong, I could do anything," Beattie said.

After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Although she had stopped drinking and using drugs, she found herself sinking in despair. She discovered that her husband wasn't sober; he'd been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage.

During her work with the spouses of addicts at a treatment center, she realized the problems that had led to her alcoholism were still there. Her pain wasn't about her husband or his drinking; it was about her. There wasn't a word for codependency yet. While Melody didn't coin the term codependency, she became passionate about the subject. What was this thing we were doing to ourselves?

Driven into the ground financially by her husband's alcoholism, Melody turned a life-long passion for writing into a career in journalism, writing about the issues that had consumed her for years. Her 24-year writing career has produced fifteen books published in twenty languages and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles. She has been a frequent guest on many national television shows, including Oprah. She and her books continue to be featured regularly in national publications including Time, People, and most major periodicals around the world.

Although it almost destroyed her when her twelve-year-old son Shane died in a ski accident in 1991, eventually Melody picked up the pieces of her life again. "I wanted to die, but I kept waking up alive," she says. She began skydiving, mountain-climbing, and teaching others what she'd learned about grief.

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