Customer Reviews

Codependents' Guide to the 12 Steps

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1 star:		(3)

 

 

Melody Beattie is the author of CODEPENDENT NO MORE, the book that sold millions of copies the world over and made the word "codependent" a household word. Melody defines codependency as a state where you believe your happiness comes from a specific person, and then you become obsessed with controlling that other person. Very often, but not always, codependents find themselves in relationships with alcoholics, drug addicts, or people with other kinds of self-destructive compulsive habits and addictions. Inevitably, the codependent will become obsessed with trying to get their addicted spouse or "special person" off of that substance. The problem with this, however, is that the codependent does not see that they *themselves* have a problem for being constantly attracted to people who do not want to be helped; also, the codependent often *needs* to be needed and derives their self-esteem from being needed, which would explain the attraction to addicts (never mind the fact that addicts usually give up their addictions only when they themselves want to).

So, since codependents often find themselves involved with addicts, it is rather fitting that Melody Beattie has adapted the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for aid in recovery from codependency and has written CODEPENDENTS' GUIDE TO THE 12 STEPS. Many of the steps of recovery from codependency are very similar to recovery from any addiction, including alcoholism, so not much has had to be altered in this adaptation. To my recollection, only the wording of the "first step" has been slightly changed, wherein the codependent does not admit to powerlessness over alcohol, but rather powerlessness over other people. Melody highlights each Step with examples and stories from her own experience as a counselor, and her way of telling stories is always very succinct, sincere, and non-condemnatory. Another helplful thing is that this book contains an index of many books and guides that are helpful for the person in recovery, including addresses to the different 12 Step organizations.

This book has been invaluable to me as a comforting and challenging resource, especially as I worked through a recent, highly painful relationship loss. I began to understand the 12 Steps much more clearly through Melody Beattie's clear and gentle explanations. Many people I know in 12-step programs use this book, finding that it resonates well with many different types of recovery work.

There are many books out there on recovery; and after many yrs in recovery, some of us own most of those books! This is absolutely the best one I have come across as far as the steps go. Its format of explanation and "getting to the heart of the matter" in the steps, can apply to everyones journey, regardless of which program they are in. This book will enhance everyones recovery program as well as their spiritual path, because it hits the basics and gets to the roots of all healing and growth in a way we can all relate to. Thanks Melody!

This book is "Golden". I highly recommend it.

This book is an essential tool for anyone wanting to work on their codependency, especially those of us who have worked the 12 Steps before. I related greatly to what Melody Beattie states in the introduction: The 12 Steps of AA helped relieve her obsession to drink and use, but her codependency issues remained until she applied the Steps to her codependency issues. That short sentence explained exactly where I was in my life when I came across this book. Now that I'm not just working the 12 Steps around my alcoholism and addiction, but also working the 12 Steps around codependency, I've been given a new freedom that I never knew was possible. Now, I'm not just a grateful alcoholic, I'm a grateful codependent!

A small group of us used this book in working the 12 steps our some our basic co-dependency issues. This eased some of us 'newcomers' into the 12 step process in a nurturing manner. I could really relate and appreciate the stories and examples that Melody Beattie shares to relates the issues to so that I could comprehend. This book allowed some deep rooted issues to be explored and my process of recovery to flourish.

Years ago when I was going through a painful divorce - this tape helped me keep sane even in the most insane moments. Helps you keep focused on yourself and what life has to offer you. Melody Beattie has spread the word about "living life a better way"

This book both inspires us and provides us with direction in our lives. The author writes in such a gentle and inspiring way that you can not help but gather up your courage to break out of the chains that bind you to your past. The book also gives us very useful step by step guidelines about what we should do to grow out of the suffocating psychological walls we have built for ourselves. It is a fantastic book for anyone wanting to free themselves from their internal issues and move on with their lives! If you are interested in the theory of how all of this works, read "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato! It is an absolutely fantastic book that explains the psychological process that creates these negative states as well as the psychological process that enables us to grow out of them. These are the books that are presently guiding me to more and more freedom and happiness these days! I hope they do the same for you!

In working through my 12 step program, this is one of the best books I have used. Melody Beattie really hits on a lot of the issues - and is a gentle walk through the steps. Times I feel stuck or not motivated to continue working, this book has helped inspire me to continue on.

If you have read "Codependent No More" and though "Oh my gosh, that's me!" This is the book to get you on track to rid yourself of the pain and frustration in your life. Be ready to be honest with yourself, and answer some difficult questions...

This book will help you stay on track to your recovery. It outlines all of the steps you will need to partake in to heal or continue healing. I also recommend Confusing Love with Obsession by John D. Moore