Customer Reviews

The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, LowerCosts, and Happier Kids--Without Going to Court

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I just finished this book, which was easy to read and well written. I have practiced
divorce law for 34 years, mediated civil and family law disputes for 10 years, completed collaborative
training, and have begun the collaborative practice of law. I am really
enjoying it and plan to change the focus of my practice to collaborative law.
As a divorced father of two adult children, I have personally experienced the dark side of
divorce via the traditional method and hope to offer clients another option to the traditionally adversarial way of divorcing.This book is a great guide for the practitioner and for those who are considering a divorce. It clearly sets forth the advantages of resolving conflict without the use of the adversarial court system method of "winner take all". I am revamping my website and practice materials and expect to incorporate many of the concepts set forth in this book to assist clients in deciding how they want to pursue their divorce.

As a family law attorney in Minnesota who believes that helping my clients is more important than maximizing my billable time, I am starting to use the Collaborative Practice method in some of my family law cases. After reading this book, The Collaborative Way to Divorce, I decided that the Collaborative Practice method would be better (less expensive with better outcomes) than traditional litigation for many of my family law clients. In family law cases (most often divorce), I frequently recommend proceeding Collaboratively rather than through traditional litigation, especially where children are involved. The Collaborative Way to Divorce leads both the client and the practitioner (attorneys, mental health, financial and other professionals) through both the benefits and the process of proceeding collaboratively. This book is readable by nonlawyers and lawyers alike and I highly recommend it. I regularly purchase a handful of copies of this book to give out to clients, clergy, and others who may be interested in learning about Collaborative Practice.

This book is one which I would recommend to any individual considering a divorce. One of the authors of the book, Stu Webb, is the "founder" of the collaborative divorce movement. The book should be read before selecting and going forward with traditional adversarial representation. There are several pros of the book are that it is written with one voice - despite being written by two lawyers. It is clearly written. The alternative book is the book with Pauline Tessler as co-author. This books is somewhat longer and more inter-disciplinary in its approach. The co-author is a psychologist. If you are looking for the book that is easiest to read yet, by this one.

This book gives a straight easy to follow explanation of what to expect in the collaborative process. The book guides you through the process step by step and includes helpful questionnaires to see if this is a good fit for your divorce. Lots of useful and insightful material in the Appendix. I would highly recommend to anyone, including lawyers, who wants to get a feel for how the collaborative model might be better than a traditional divorce. I practice in the area, and recommend this book to my clients.

I'd read a few books on divorce in preparation, knowing that we'd need a separation agreement to firm up financial issues and for various matters related to the kids. We'd had a fair amount of conflict leading up to this point in time, but eventually completed an asymptotic approach to a mutual acceptance of the marriage breakdown. With that came agreements on most issues, but I was dreading the legal process that I knew to be required. I figured that it was going to inevitably lead back to fights and conflict over issues that we'd actually (at least mostly) resolved.

I ended up with a recommendation by a recent divorcée to consider the collaborative process. I'd not heard of this, and found this book in the library describing the whole thing. It was quite a relief to know that there was an alternative to the traditional duke it out lawyer vs lawyer ways.

If you believe you are capable to get through your divorce and separation smoothly, then this process could be for you. This book is well worth a read to understand the process, the rationale, and some of the alternatives. I'm happy to see that there is some signs that this is becoming the default process for the legal issues of marriage breakdown. It puts some much needed sanity and order into a very confusing and chaotic event.

Thoughtful. The one word summary of the way Webb and Ousky write about divorce must emphasize the reflective nature of the book and of their practices.

With graphics and bullets and quotes and case studies and testimonials, they lay out a different way of approaching a familiar topic. A topic that is oddly familiar to all of us who have been through divorce but a process that is mostly familiar to family lawyers whose work largely replicates the status quo. In proposing an alternative, the authors carefully examine the consequences (emotional and financial) of the old way and the collaborative way.

Again and again, I was delighted to realize "I'm not the only one" as Webb (the founder of the collaborative movement) and Ousky (a lawyer and practitioner) critique the existing approach and describe their alternative.

If I have any negative reactions to the work, they come from a sense that the book is an argument for collaborative divorce. It is an argument I find compelling. It is an argument that I find persuasive. It is an argument that I make in talks in Portland and Vancouver on a regular basis. It is an argument that I've made on television and radio but an argument nonetheless. Stu Webb could probably write another book titled "How to Succeed at Collaboration" and his autobiography in the very near future. This is less than a description of the process and more of a persuasive narration.

I just completed the negotiation phase of my divorce and am now separated. I read this book at the suggestion of my lawyer (I chose the collaborative approach prior to getting the book). It was simple to understand and walked me through each step of the process. I felt that I was well prepared for our negotiation sessions and had a good perspective on the 'problems' that inevitably come up in them. Between the book and the coaching that my lawyer gave, I survived the divorce process without carrying any of the negative baggage forward.

Stu Webb and Ron Ousky have produced a body of advice for divorcing parents that draws on a combined fifty-plus years of family law experience--in and out of court. Few events in life so urgently need one's best thinking, and fewer still frustrate that ability as much, as divorce. Stu and Ron explain in clear, direct language the paradox of the bitter divorce, namely: the harder you fight, the less likely you are to get what you really need, and the more harm you do to your family. By approaching divorce as a problem to be solved, and a set of needs to be met for your family, couples can achieve greater satisfaction and longer-lasting agreements than they can by fighting in court. For divorcing parents who put their children first.

Having met with Ron Ousky, I am only sorry to say this book wasn't out when we were looking for help to keep our family intact even though we were divorcing.

Our own story is one that many people say they can relate to, having each of the family members write their own version of how the divorce came to pass and how we stayed family through it, not only surviving, but thriving.

We're happy to support the Collaborative Law Institute and share its own message, similar to our own... A Family Doesn't Have To End Just Because A Marriage Does!

Relational Shifts: A Family Doesn't Have to End Just Because a Marriage Does

Collaborative law is the new divorce revolution and this book is a wonderful, easy to read, well-organized guide. If you want to have dignity, integrity and civility when you and your spouse part, READ THIS BOOK!