Collision with the Infinite: A Life Beyond the Personal Self [Paperback]

Suzanne Segal (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1996

--She thought she had gone mad, but she was enlightened and didn't know it! Some people spend years in caves trying to experience what suddenly happened to Suzanne Segal. This is the incredible story of a young woman who irrevocably lost all sense of personal self, or an "I".

It is the story of her mind's desperate attempts to come to grips with -- or deny! -- her spiritual condition, a process which took eight years.--

Collision with the Infinite is an extraordinary work. One day over twelve years ago, Suzanne Segal, a young American woman living in Paris, stepped onto a city bus and suddenly and unexpectedly found herself egoless, stripped of any sense of a personal self. Struggling with the terror and confusion produced by that cataclysmic experience, for years she tried to make sense of it, seeking the help of therapist after therapist. Eventually, she turned to spiritual teachers, coming at last to understand that this was the egoless state, the Holy Grail of so many spiritual traditions, that elusive consciousness to which so many aspire.

This book is her story, her own account of what such a terrifying event meant to her when it crashed into her everyday life, and what it means to her now. Her sense of the personal "I" has never returned, and she lives in that heightened spiritual awareness to this day. Stephen Bodian, the former editor of Yoga Journal who wrote the introduction, found her to be "a fearless, joyful being who radiates love and whose spiritual wisdom was equal to that of the masters and sages I most respected."

Unlike so many spiritual accounts, Collision with the Infinite is written in a completely lucid, nonmystical, straightforward manner, instantly understandable to Westerners and filled with luminous clarity. Nowhere in these pages, in fact, do we have the sense of invasive ego or self-promotion, and Ms. Segal presents us with a remarkable glimpse into "the mystery in which all abides," that egolessness which seekers have pursued since spiritual quests began.

She thought she had gone mad, but she was enlightened and didn't know it! Some people spend years in caves trying to experience what suddenly happened to Suzanne Segal. This is the incredible story of a young woman who irrevocably lost all sense of personal self, or an "I".

It is the story of her mind's desperate attempts to come to grips with -- or deny! -- her spiritual condition, a process which took eight years.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The utility of this book derives from the clarity with which Segal describes the profound spiritual experience of the egoless state and the sense of emptiness that many spiritual traditions seek to produce. Segal's easy and conversational narrative of her experience of this state does three things. First, it names the goal that meditation systems like her own Transcendental Meditation (TM) advita tradition seek. Secondly, her description of this experience in clear and appealing language bereft of all spiritual jargon is marvelously instructive. Thirdly, Segal's account of her own fear while in this state, coupled with her compelling curiosity to understand that fear, can teach others on this path how to cope with the experience. Many have tried to do what Segal does, but none have achieved such clarity in the task. Segal's book is a compelling testament to the power of advita spirituality couched in terms any pilgrim can understand and appreciate.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"'Enlightenment' to me means a total annihilation of the sense of personal doership. In the words of the Buddha, 'Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof.' "Whether a traumatic experience is necessary for enlightenment to occur is a moot point, but it happened to Suzanne Segal. In her book, she describes the full story in a sincere and lucid manner, in simple words and a fluent style that fascinated me. "To anyone interested in the subject, I would say, 'Read this book!' " -- Ramesh Balsekar, author of Consciousness Speaks

"...Suzanne Segal...writes about her fears and apprehensions while coming to terms with her vivid awakening." -- Rodney Stevens,

"Suzanne Segal's Collision with the Infinite was a major milestone in my life. I consider Segal's book one on the giant works of our time, one of the most intriguing testaments of the mystical state, unique in its own way and language. I carried it around with me for weeks, couldn't bear to put it down, read and re-read it." -- Joseph Chilton Pearce author of The Magical Child

Product Details

• Paperback: 174 pages
• Publisher: Blue Dove Press; 2 edition (September 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1884997279
• ISBN-13: 978-1884997273
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #473,844 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

64 of 70 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Enlightenment: Now What?, May 19, 2001

By 

Adaria (Vancouver, Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Collision with the Infinite: A Life Beyond the Personal Self (Paperback)

I found Ms. Segal's life story very interesting and refreshing. It used to be, that enlightening experiences were rarely ever shared, and certainly not spoken of so openly and honestly, let alone published. However, after reading the reviews herein, I was astonished to realize that no one picked up on several facts so candidly expressed by Ms. Segal.

First of all, it is obvious to this former meditation instructor that Ms. Segal was born into this life with a strong conscious connection to her soul and the dharma of a seasoned yogi. (Anyone who sits in meditation daily at age 7 chanting their name inwardly as a mantra is indeed a person with much spiritual groundwork already covered.)

Second, her fiancé jilted her at a time when she was most vulnerable. This, during the second six-month-long meditation retreat they both attended in Europe under the auspices of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the first Indian Master to bring Transcendental Meditation to the West. I believe being jilted would undo any good woman; but under these extraordinary circumstances, I can tell you from experience, everything in ones' life is magnified during a retreat of this nature.

When in this space one becomes very "soft". Meaning, hyper-sensitive to even the most mundane things and the subtlest thought-forms. This is why it is most important to seclude oneself from the outside world, entirely released from responsibility and be with those of like intent as much as possible. Maharishi's retreats are specifically designed for huge chunks of karma (accumulated stress) to fall away in order to create "emptiness"; a space for the light to fill. Oftentimes, the out-picturing of this is not always pleasant, to say the least. Ms. Segal was quite young at the time this happened and I believe, due to her naiveté, was not prepared for the repercussions which appeared to have left a deep, enduring wound in her psyche.

During retreats, there is always this anticipation on behalf of the meditator to have a great illuminating, epiphany: one specific event that shouts "enlightenment, at last"! More often than not, though, like Ms. Segal, there is a certain amount of disappointment and sense of inadequacy encountered in the wake of this. I used to remind those I was honored to assist that, just because something incredible fails to occur, it does not mean there was not any movement nor ones' goal not met. It all depends on the soul and its own cosmic time-table. None of us can really know the details in this regard; that is, until we put aside all attachment to the outcome of all our endeavors, spiritual or not. In fact, one eventually arrives at the point where there is no difference between the spiritual and the mundane: in short, the spiritualization of matter.

With regard to extraordinary experiences, an Indian guru once told me, "...it comes to whom it comes to" and his comment has proved a great comfort to me and many others to realize there appears to be no rhyme or reason. We may have an inkling, but most likely, the experiences we have take many years to integrate. It is usually in retrospect that one sees the perfection of all experiences and is truly able to "see things just as they are", as the Buddha taught.

After Ms. Segal's "bus stop hit" (which by the way, took place 6 years after the retreats and during which time she had ceased meditating), she had no idea what happened to her. I also find it so astounding that "fear" was her constant companion after this and that she did not simply allow herself to go into it, particularly in light of her intensive meditation training. In fact, it took her 12 years to sort this out after lengthy and varied psychotherapy only to find the answers she sought in Buddhist texts. Then found relief, only to realize that what she had been seeking, she'd possessed all along. Once realized, she was truly free and able to experience real joy for the first time in her life.

Her account brings to mind Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz" where Glenda the Good Witch tells her, "...but my dear, you've had the power to go home all along!" Life is like that. Each of us has all we ever need, right now, in this moment. All that is required of us is to realize that there is nowhere to go and nothing to gain: We are It.

All in all, Ms. Segal's biography is a fascinating and riveting; though a bit contradictory with regard to the value she places on spiritual practice. Quite simply, the tale of a contemporary mystic immersed in the challenges of a modern world. Read up for a glimpse of things to come, because I've a feeling this and many more similar experiences are in store for more of us than ever before in our planet's history.....

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Extraordinary, Beautiful, and Heartbreaking, May 12, 2001

By 

"tim_farrington" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Collision with the Infinite: A Life Beyond the Personal Self (Paperback)

Suzanne Segal's extraordinary story of her experience of the instantaneous and total loss of her "self" is simply fascinating, and should be read by anyone blessed or cursed to find themselves wandering the incomprehensible and often bleak terrains of the varieties of spiritual undoing. Her style is beautifully straightforward, lucid, and generous, without affectation. In her matter-of-fact at-homeness with the most extraordinary conditions of consciousness, she is similar to Bernadette Roberts, whose own books on the no-self experience are the best I've ever encountered. This book has distinct weaknesses--Segal's final insistence on the irrelevance of spiritual practices rings a little strange in the light of her own years of intense meditation practice that preceded her catapulting into the land of no-self, and her failure to consider more fully the relationship between her history and the apparently spontaneous dawning of the no-self state strikes me as unsatisfying. And the book's somewhat sketchy epilogue clearly raises more--and fascinating--questions than it answers. The early death of this extraordinary woman is heartbreaking; how marvelous it would have been to see where her further development led her. But as it is, she has left us a precious gift in this memoir, like a note from a previous climber, high up on a frigid mountain, pointing the way ahead.

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An instant classic that tells how a selfless life feels, May 5, 1999

By 

P. Nagy "revreader" (Chapel Hill, NC USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Collision with the Infinite: A Life Beyond the Personal Self (Paperback)

This memoir offers some insight on how one might interiorly feel about having no sense of personal self or ego. This near legendary state of some advanced contemplative is here given an autobiographical setting. It is important for its hints of psychological insights but even more revealing as an historic document to show how difficult such states are in the context of current spiritual culture. This an extraordinary account of the experience of selflessness points to the heart of spiritual experience that is fully gifted and not an achievement of practice as self-control. The simplicity of the narrative and its reasonable honesty provides an illuminating account of one woman's experience of loss of personal identity and constant sense of Emptiness. Her eventual discovery, after much fear and pain, the emptiness become a calm entrance to unity and peace.  Segal's opinions in COLLISION WITH THE INFINITE will also poke holes in the work-ethic of Buddhist practice and other forms of spiritual go-gettering. Highly recommended.