Collusion: Memoir of a Young Girl and Her Ballet Master [Hardcover]

Evan Zimroth (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 30, 1998

From the vantage point of "real life" (as dancers say), Collusion tells the story of a young girl's initiation into the disciplined, exalting world of classical ballet and into a secret love relationship with F., the ballet master whom she adored.

"Do you want to be a great dancer?" F. had asked her when she was twelve. She did. And so Collusion tells of how she gave up ordinary lifefamily, boyfriends, hamburgers, homework, and pop musicfor a life dedicated to the promise of artistry. At the center of that new life was always the figure of F.ironic, moody, demanding, quixotically generous or withholdingwho could control her with a sarcastic comment or the flash of his cane across her thigh, but also with the lyrical beauty of his classes and the vision of herself in a perfect arabesque. F. was the first man to partner her, and the first to teach her that love can come in strange forms: in the airborne lifts of Les Sylphides, in brilliant pirouettes, and in measured violence.

Collusion describes the secret life of ballet. It is a life in which "normal" values are reversed. Brutality is seen as a gift, fear as devotion, sadism (rightly, in this case) as love. Free of conventional moral judgments, Collusion tells of possession and surrender, of power and submission, of the bond between a young girl and an older man.

In spare, emotionally resonant prose, award-winning poet and novelist Evan Zimroth unfolds a mesmerizing story of artistic ambition, power, and love in an unforgettable memoir of adolescence. Collusion portrays a real relationship, one that society dares not speak of, and it does so with admirable honesty and sensitivity.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

While her peers "went out on dates, talked to one another on the phone at night, listened to Greatest Hits," the prize-winning author of this refreshingly honest memoir was "listening to Chopin, Czerny, Scriabin, and Tchaikovsky surging through the humid, resin-filled air of the ballet studio." At the age of 12, Evan Zimroth submitted to the punishing regime of a latter-day Svengali who pushed her into a life of self-denial and physical torture. This demanding and temperamental Russian, a legendary dance master, also took a psychological hold over her, and a disturbing erotic bond was forged between tutor and pupil. The bruising affair dominated Zimroth's teenage years, but she writes about it without rancor. It was only after "F" (as she calls the man throughout the book) died that she felt able to write the story; it is imbued with the wisdom of hindsight and told in wonderfully supple prose. Zimroth writes of the punishment meted out to her on a regular basis--"F" would lash her with a cane--and the rewards--slices of blood-stained cheese that he would feed into her mouth--that she would endure without ever losing her poise. Her psychological acuity is astounding, and anyone who reads this--balletomane or not--will be gripped by Zimroth's lucid exploration of obsession. --Lilian Pizzichini, Amazon.co.uk

From Publishers Weekly

Novelist and poet Zimroth (Gangsters) recounts her days as an adolescent ballet student and her masochistic relationship with her teacher, F., a famous Russian dancer. The story itself is compelling. F.'s treatment of Zimroth alternates between special kindness (taking her into his office to show her photographs of himself as a young dancer) and particular cruelty (F. hits Zimroth with his cane hard enough to leave bruises). Even without a demanding, often physically abusive instructor like F., serious early ballet study comes off sounding painful and self-punishing: Zimroth describes how to break in pointe shoes and confesses that for years she kept her first pair?caked on the inside with dried blood?as a souvenir. The book's weakness lies in its lack of factual explanation. When Zimroth was 13, her parents insisted on pulling her out of ballet school because of her poor grades. When she reported this to F., he told her she would have to choose between him and her parents. Zimroth chose her teacher but doesn't explain how she got around her parents' original demand. In a similar vein, Zimroth uses a disturbing yet unconvincing framing device in which she compares her relationship with F. to a sexual experience (confusingly, she introduces this as a rape, then immediately recants). Still, Zimroth's memoir is an interesting backstage look at the seamier side of an art form, and it raises interesting questions about artists and mentors and the personal price of success.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Harper; 1st edition (December 30, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060187867
• ISBN-13: 978-0060187866
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,476,235 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Do you really think you know everything about your child?, May 30, 2000

By 

msauerbrey - See all my reviews

This review is from: Collusion: Memoir of a Young Girl and Her Ballet Master (Hardcover)

Yes, well written. Yes, somewhat disturbing. Yes, obsession. But, as far as memories can be accurate the best description of what a child is able to do to please an adult, how much a child is able to deny what we would call normal needs to reach a goal itself has the urge to reach. First it is perfection in ballet, perfect posture, perfect body control - pleasing herself. Then, with a strike of his cane her ballet master claims her, and so there comes a shift - he becomes the center of her universe, starting an emotional bonding which excludes the rest of the world, also her family. Emotional needs can be as strong as hunger and thirst, and in fulfilling or denying an adult can do as much good and damage as with starving or overfeeding. Read and decide for yourself if this relationship was good or evil - or both.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating read, April 23, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Collusion: Memoir of a Young Girl and Her Ballet Master (Hardcover)

I couldn't put this down - from the opening scene I was fascinated and locked in Evan's erotic spell. Collusion presents a more than plausible picture of the shape that female adolescent sexuality can take.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating, yet Disturbing, January 15, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Collusion: Memoir of a Young Girl and Her Ballet Master (Hardcover)

It's fascinating to be allowed a glimpse into the hidden world of advanced ballet study. It's disturbing to see a child getting an erotic thrill from being dominated, both mentally and physically, by an older man. Provided this is wholly autobiographical, I believe that the author's memory of her thoughts on the matter are accurately portrayed, but it's disturbing nonetheless. In the book, she wonders if (and hopes that) F. found their interaction to be erotic. Maybe he didn't. Maybe he was employing dominance as a tactic that he knew would motivate her to perform to the best of her ability. Maybe he had her fooled. But he created a monster - an arrogant girl who would stop at nothing to provoke him and turn his wrath/dominance upon her, at the expense of her career and relationships with others.