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Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex Paperback – February 18, 2000


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Frequently Bought Together

Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex + Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission + Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism
Price for all three: $55.09

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone (February 18, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0684854627
  • ISBN-13: 978-0684854625
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #479,599 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Bob Berkowitz author of His Secret Life Come Hither is accessible, fun to read, informative, and sexy all at the same time. I highly recommend it.

Dr. Robert T. McIlvenna President, The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality Dr. Brame is simply the best tour guide I know for your travel in the world of kinky sex.

About the Author

Dr. Gloria G. Brame is the lead author of Different Loving. A poet, journalist, and novelist, Brame has contributed articles to Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Working Woman, and Maxim.

More About the Author

Gloria Brame, Ph.D., is a writer, board certified sexologist, and sex therapist in private practice. Described as "the Albert Einstein of kinky sex," Dr. Brame writes, researches, studies, and blogs about all aspects of human sexuality, from dysfunctions to fetishes.  She is the author of The Truth About Sex: A Sex Primer for the 21st Century,  Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission,  and Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kink.  A professor at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality she was named "Hero of the Sexual Revolution," by Exodus Trust.  She's been rocking the Internet since before it was netted, and founded the world first on-line BDSM peer support group in 1987. Gloria is on the board of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance and the Board of Governors of the Leather Hall of Fame.

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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This book helped me finally realize and admit to myself that I'm kinky.
Journeyman
I'd been "in the lifestyle" for several years by the time I read this book.
A. Carter
It's wonderful to read a book written by an author who obviously knows their subject.
James R. Holland

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 53 people found the following review helpful By David E. Martin on July 9, 2000
Format: Paperback
This is the first book on the subject that i've actually managed to read cover-to-cover, without wanting to skip around. It also rings true with my personal experiences so far, particularly her section on "types of people to watch out for". Browsing that section in the bookstore is what convinced me to look at the book in more depth and to buy it. Upon reading the entire book i'm glad I did.
I particularly like her inclusive nature, and her stressing of (nearly, she has reservations about medically dangerous stuff) everything being ok, as long as it involves people capable of consent, who know what they are getting into. It seems there are so many other sources which have an idea of "the one true way" to do it, and anything else is somehow wrong, or not "real BDSM". This book was a refreshing breath of air.
I found the writing style to be very comfortable and readable, and not stuffy or dry. I found her discussions of the social stigmas associated with various practices very interesting. Also, the discussions of the emotional and mental aspects; this is more than just another "how-to" book. This is a book I would not be afraid to give to someone who may be questioning their "vanilla-ness". Its a gentle opening of the eyes, instead of a drop-kick into the middle of the ocean. I wish I had read this before an encounter with a "one-true-way" type who nearly drove me away forever. Fortunately, I realized that not all players are that way, and this book really helps to make that clear. For instance, its perfectly ok to be a dominant masochist, or a hedonist, one just needs to find compatible partners, and they are out there somewhere.
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful By BluuMagic on March 1, 2000
Format: Paperback
When beer companies and fashion designers begin basing advertising campaigns on high-gloss photographs of men licking the feet of models wearing black stilettos, you know pop culture has truly become obsessed with all things leather and kinky. It's a far cry from 1993 when Dr. Gloria Brame was the lead writer of "Different Loving," the ground-breaking book on sexual dominance and submission. The book was so controversial it almost didn't get published; it's now considered the Bible of the BDSM movement and one of the driving forces behind kink going mainstream.
"Come Hither" is Brame's long-waited follow-up, a perfect companion to that first book. If "Different Loving" was a scholarly and detached overview of an exciting and unexplored new world, then "Come Hither" is like finding a chatty and knowledgeable tour guide who knows all the best spots in town.
This is a book for both the curious and the experienced. Fearful of sharing your fantasies of being tied up to your partner? "Come Hither" offers clear and smart advice. Wondering about the proper use of a Butterfly Board or a Neuro-Wheel? "Come Hither" has detailed descriptions of dozens of kinky toys and devices.
Brame not only is one of the world's foremost experts on BDSM, she's also an engaging writer who is able to convey her passion and knowledge in a conversational style. She never takes herself, or her topic, too seriously. So much of society's perception of BDSM is cloaked in danger and darkness. Brame shows the human side: the intimacy and the warmth and the humor. "Will heavy makeup make me look cheap?" she asks in a chapter delving into cross-dressing. "Of course," she replies, with a wink and a nod. "Isn't that the fun part of it?"
You'll find a lot of those kinds of moments in "Come Hither." You'll also find solid and fascinating information and tips by the woman who, literally, wrote "the book" on BDSM.
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 26, 2003
Format: Paperback
Having been involved in various aspects of kink since the late 70's, I'm usually unimpressed with the crop of fad-riding how to's about the subject popping up these days. Come Hither, however, breaks through the pack and stands out remarkably as a MUST READ if you're serious about understanding the amazing possibilities that can come from exploring natural, kink-filled passions (or need a useful tool in helping a loved one understand).
Rather than coming off as a stale, academic guide, Dr. Gloria Brame has witfully woven together all of the basics in an innovative form that can be easily molded to individual tastes. Her experience in the field of sexology comes through solidly in the many technical tips offered in the text, but I also found that the book provided a nice blend of pertinent anecdotes and useful opinions that gives the reader ample food for thought in drawing their own conclusions. While perhaps not groundbreaking in its content, Come Hither clearly leaps to the head of the class as a literary model in portraying kink as healthy, safe, exciting and most of all, FUN!
Great info. Great ideas. Great style. I strongly recommend it to everyone regardless of experience level.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 14, 2003
Format: Paperback
Are you curious about kink, but too shy to ask? Then "Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex" is the answer to your prayers. Brame's warmth and humor make this an entertaining read for anyone, but her intended audience is that enormous segment of society that would never - ever! - venture into a public venue to explore their kink. (Some with secret kinky fantasies that they're afraid to tell ANYONE about.) This is a kinky sex-positive message for the uninitiated masses, (or the newly initiated who are still figuring things out) and for anyone with someone kinky in their life. (Doesn't that about cover everyone?) Not to be confused with the numerous "how-to" guides available, "Come Hither" has a distinctly (but unobtrusively) therapeutic slant, educating and making us feel good about kinky sex. For its scope and readability and potential to change lives, I rank this one right up there with the original, unabridged "The Joy of Sex."
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