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Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent's Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children Paperback – March 5, 2013

4.2 out of 5 stars 28 customer reviews

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  • Come Rain or Come Shine: A White Parent's Guide to Adopting and Parenting Black Children
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  • In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Rachel Garlinghouse is a mother through domestic, transracial, open adoption. She taught college composition at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville for nine years before "retiring" to focus on writing and speaking. Her work and experiences has been featured on MSNBC, NPR, Huffington Post Live, Babble, Scary Mommy, ABCnews.com, My Brown Baby, adoption.net, Adoptive Families, Diabetes Health, Diabetes Forecast, The Daily Drum National Radio Show, Open Adoption Bloggers, Madame Noire, Slow Mama, I Am Not the Babysitter, and in Essence magazine. She's the facilitator of a large St. Louis area adoption triad and fostering support group for women. Her first children's book, Black Girls Can: An Empowering Story of Yesterdays and Todays, was released in September of 2014. When she's not writing, Rachel can be found dancing, baking, reading, and creating art with her children. You can learn more about her family and contact her via her blog: www.whitesugarbrownsugar.com
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 244 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (March 5, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1478310863
  • ISBN-13: 978-1478310860
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #168,037 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I learned a few things from this book, but I have to admit I was a little annoyed by her labeling all of the "ism"s. We're in the adoption process right now and she did say a couple of things in her book that I think will be useful to keep in mind. Particularly about birth parents and adoption language.

I grew up with a mom who was a different color from me and I was always(and still am) so proud to tell people she's my mom. It never gets old for me when people say, "Wait, SHE is your mom?!". I guess it could be a bad thing for some people. But I'm hoping that our adopted kiddo will feel the way I did growing up about my own mom.
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Although there was some useful information present here, it is hard to take the book too seriously when the author has such young children. At the time of the writing the oldest was four. Transracial adoption is a life long journey and one that brings numerous experiences as time passes. To write a book when so much is still to transpire is lofty and ill-intentioned.

Others who have penned books on the same subject have either years of transracial parenting under their belts or years of concentrated serious study and/or practice, or in the best cases they have both.

It seems this book was written for the sake of writing a book. I would recommend a number of other more expertly researched and written books on the subject before this one such as, I'm Chocolate You're Vanilla, Inside Transracial Adoption, or In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Story.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book contains A LOT of typos.

If you can look past those, you'll learn that the author is still fairly new to the adoption world, with very young daughters.

Also note, this book is more for a potential adoptive parent who is unable to have children biologically than it is for a person who chooses adoption for other reasons.

One of the main topics in the book involved responding to questions or statements made about the adoption. I believe people are often clumsy about asking questions when they are curious about children and adoption, but that it's important to give them the benefit of the doubt. The author instead seems defensive and suspicious of acquaintances.

That said, she raises good questions to consider before deciding to enter into a transracial adoption, and lists some great resources for delving further into the topics, but the coverage of each topic is very shallow. And you won't get much advice for handling adoption-specific issues that are sure to arise at any stage of the child's life. I would perhaps have lowered my expectations if the book were not a self-proclaimed "guide to parenting" the adopted black child.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Good read for people interested in adoption. I liked the specific chapters on the different hair types and how to take care of them. Overall, the book was a little whiny, meaning the author seems get upset really easily over people's comments about her family/children. That was annoying but still the book was helpful. That being said, I read it because it was required reading, and then passed it on to someone else. Not something that I would read again. -Annie
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Format: Paperback
This woman has three extremely young transracially adopted children. Maybe in about 20 years, she could write a book about what it is really like, but right now, she is still in the easy early years. Writing books about big life things to which you are still such a novice is naive, at best.
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Format: Paperback
In an easy and enjoyable read, Ms. Garlinghouse has brought a wealth of information to anyone who reads her book. The mom of 3 transracially adopted children walks her readers through the steps involved in adopting transracially and beyond, with the heart of a mother and the clarity of a seasoned writer. With sections from deciding if transracial adoption is right for you and announcing your adoption plans- to care for black hair and skin and discussing adoption and race with children, Garlinghouse covers a gambit of subjects important to the process of adopting and parenting transracially. While Garlinghouse refers to herself as "ordinary" in the first pages-- her book is anything but. Come Rain or Come Shine is a must read for anyone who is looking for a greater understanding of transracial adoption and practical resources and examples from someone who has followed that path.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Rachel's view of transracial adoption and adoption in general is easy to follow and this text has several references to classic adoption books for additional insight. The end of each chapter contains action items, discussion points to consider and an abundance of resources for adult learning and child experience books and other media.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
It's a must ready for anyone who has or is in the process of adopting trans-racially through either domestic or international adoption!
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