A stimulating, thought-provoking book that lets you know how to break free of negative behavior, take control of office politics, and prevent difficult, repetitive, and avoidable situations. Reardon—a frequent HuffingtonPost contributor and professor at the Marshall School of Business—arms readers with the tools they need to take control of conversations in the workplace. Comebacks at Work combines the best qualities of Deborah Tannen's Talking from 9 to 5, Kerry Patterson's Crucial Conversations, and Douglas Stone's Difficult Conversations, a perfect workplace guide to getting what you deserve.
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"A book that I love... how to stay cool, how to say the right thing...yet putting that person on notice in a polite and diplomatic way... I learned so much from it. It is a great, great book." --WNPR: Faith Middleton's Book Show
As you may already know if you're visiting this page from Huffington Post or one of my blogs (comebacksatwork.com) or bardscove, I'm a professor of management and organization at the University of Southern California where I also spent over fifteen years on the faculty of preventive medicine.
My work began with a focus on persuasion. PERSUASION IN PRACTICE, my first book (revised edition), is a thorough overview of persuasion research and theory. It was described by Public Opinion Quarterly as "a landmark contribution to the field."
My first trade book, THEY DON'T GET IT, DO THEY?, focused on the similarities and differences in male and female communication and how those affect working together. It followed a "Harvard Business Review" reprint bestseller, "The Memo Every Woman Keeps in Her Desk." I appeared on Good Morning American and in a segment done for NBC Nightly News and later The Today Show.
Then came THE SECRET HANDSHAKE, which was an amazon business and nonfiction bestseller for some time. It still sells well because it's an inside look at the politics of business that each of who works deals with on a daily basis. Four types of political arenas are described from mildly political to pathologically political. And, styles that suit each type from the Purist to the Maneuverer are introduced. There's much to learn here about the shadow side of business and what you can do to thrive no matter the level of politics where you work.
IT'S ALL POLITICS followed and took a somewhat more advanced look at what was introduced in THE SECRET HANDSHAKE. It is also very hands-on so you can start experimenting right away with the strategies provided. One of the best aspects is a collection of scenarios not uncommon at work that you can immediately begin to connect with your own. And, then try out the suggested ways of dealing with them.
THE SKILLED NEGOTIATOR, academic and trade versions, include what I've shared with my negotiation students and senior executives I've coached. The trade version didn't get much attention due to focus on the academic one, but I love this book. As the amazon top reviewer wrote, it is very special and anyone who negotiates will enjoy it.
My latest book, with Christopher Noblet, is COMEBACKS AT WORK: USING CONVERSATION TO MASTER CONFRONTATION. I'd wanted to write this book for some time because when I consulted, coached and taught in the international MBA and Executive MBA programs at USC, I'd regularly meet very talented people who just couldn't respond effectively on their feet. And that hurt them at work. This book provides what seems like the secret of those who are good at responding in awkward, challenging, embarrassing, and offensive situations. And, it provides a host of comebacks to learn and practice using at work and elsewhere. These range from mild to what we call "wish you were never born" comebacks.
Have you ever come away from a meeting wishing you had said something--or worse, wishing that you hadn't lost your cool and embarrassed yourself? In "Comebacks at Work," Reardon and Noblet help you to map out in advance some of the dysfunctional communication patterns you are likely to get lost in at work, and then they help you chart the high road out.
"Comebacks at Work" gives you tools to deal with types like the Critic, the Blamer, the Complainer, and more. There is advice on dealing with comeback "brain freeze" and on recognizing dysfunctional patterns so that you can avoid getting sucked into them. There are assessments to help you figure out which comebacks work for you, which is very useful for non-confrontational types who might be reluctant to dish out comebacks.
While "Comebacks at Work" has a lot of substance and information, it's also an enjoyable read. Realistic (and often real-life) examples illustrate different ways to put the principles into practice. You get the tools to keep your cool, minimize your workplace stress, stay on the high road (in most cases), and work effectively.
Kathleen Kelley Reardon hits the mark time and time again with "Comebacks at Work". By encouraging me to think critically about how I communicate, and offering advice for those difficult conversations one encounters daily; I benefited immediately from the results.
Dr. Kathleen Kelley Reardon's latest book, written with Christopher Noblet, M.B.A., educates the reader in the art of constructing the disarming response. One of the greatest strengths of the book is that it allows you to re-examine your previous responses in professional contexts, and to learn that you indeed might have a bright future ahead! To those of us who stew for days about what we might have, could have, should have said, Reardon and Noblet provide us with insight into the process of productively preparing for and responding to uncomfortable work situations. While reminding us that we teach others how to treat us, Reardon and Noblet caution against using unproductive patterns of responding. I am fondest of the chapters, "Overcoming Comeback Brain Freeze," which visits those haunting moments of not knowing how to respond, "Choosing a Relevant Comeback," which provides a rubric of comebacks for a variety of situations, and "The Gut Check," which validates the connection between the rational and the emotional. Chock full of examples, Reardon and Noblet's book is comforting and readable.
"Comebacks at Work" by Kathleen Kelley Reardon, Ph.D., with Christopher Noblet, M.B.A., is an excellent resource for people who consistently find themselves at a loss for words when criticized, confronted or belittled by the bullies, blamers and control freaks that infest far too many workplaces.
We've all experienced that helpless feeling of "brain freeze" when a co-worker says something degrading or inappropriate, especially in front of others. It doesn't matter if the offender is malevolent or merely clueless; simply absorbing their abuse (or groundless accusations) not only increases your stress level, it can hurt you professionally by making you appear to be weak and ineffectual, the office doormat. And office doormats never get ahead; they get stepped on.
Reardon and Noblet's book offers numerous examples of the most common types of insulting or demeaning remarks uttered by colleagues (and bosses), along with the most effective ways to disarm them. It helps readers assess situations of conflict in order to choose the appropriate comeback, from non-confrontational "rephrasing" of an offending comment to stop-them-in-their-tracks rebukes and retaliations.
Perhaps the authors' most valuable insight, however, is that "each of us is at least 75 percent responsible for how people respond to us." That's a powerful, not to mention empowering, concept.
Nobody should have to put up with workplace verbal abuse and the related stress it brings. "Comebacks at Work" provides an practical blueprint and battle plan for fighting back.
This is a great book on communication, not just in the workplace, but everywhere. It teaches you how to evaluate the right kind of response to reach your goal. Witty comebacks are great, but they don't always get you what you want in the long run, and I've found the exercises and tips in this book helpful in improving my relationships.
Bullies watch out! This book gives concrete examples on how to handle various situations. I've read other books on the subject, but they never told me techniques to use. I'm one of those people who need examples.
Find the words you have been dying to say when people challenge you and receive the respect you deserve. Kathleen Kelley Reardon (writing with Christopher T. Noblet) offers insightful tips and tools that can help you respond more effectively - and without hesitation - to snide comments from insulting, bossy or troublesome co-workers. If you don't feel ready to fight with office bullies, don't worry. Reardon also provides a variety of less confrontational ways to deal with them. You may find a few of her ripostes a bit unrealistic or harsh - though often she suggests a tough answer only in response to someone else's provocative meanness. Overall, most of her examples are useful, helpful and effective in fighting that sinking feeling of not know what to say - until hours later. getAbstract recommends her behavioral insights, real-life anecdotes and snappy comebacks.
