Customer Reviews

Comfort and Joy

5 star:		(36)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

I must admit to not be a true connoisseur of gay fiction. Some of the stuff I tried reading in the past is a conglomeration of a convoluted plot that usually ends up with the main character sleeping with all of the other characters in the book before the yawner close. However, my boyfriend, who reads far more gay fiction than I, has been steering me around this world and introducing me to gay fiction that's not only rich, but compelling. Thus is the truth about Jim Grimsley's book, "Comfort and Joy".

He writes the story of Ford, dashing doctor who's struggling with his identity despite his intense feelings, and Dan, an introverted, kind man with secrets to hide. Off the bat, the pairing of these two characters grabbed me: that the handsome Ford, who so easily could have fallen into caricature, finds within Dan a world of possibilities, not entirely based on appearances. In fact, what initially grabs Ford is Dan's voice, after hearing him sing in a hospital Christmas concert.

In fact, Christmas keeps rattling around this couple as they decide to spend the holiday with each other first, and then to travel to meet Dan's somewhat accepting parents in North Carolina. This scenario is played out well, as we know Dan's initial shyness would be such a huge barrier to truly get to know him, that we finally learn more about him through his interesting family. Grimsley here too doesn't fall into stereotypes, but makes Dan's poorer family diverse enough to question Dan's sexuality but still welcome the couple with open arms.

As all of this swirls around, the main focus is the couple hood of Dan and Ford. From it comes a sense of honesty, and permanence. You know, despite the major issues they must deal with, the strong undercurrent of their affection and love will hold them steady.

In an age where breakups are a dime a dozen, and we celebrate the disposable relationships, "Comfort and Joy" adds its beautiful discordant tone to that chord, and makes for a wonderful, engaging read.

Readers of Jim Grimsley's earlier novels--"Winter Birds," "Dream Boy," and "My Drowning"--might be surprised by the title of his new novel, "Comfort & Joy," for there is little of either in his other writings. But this one has both as Dan Crell and Ford McKinney put their fragile, unlikely relationship to the test of coming out to their families--because they refuse to spend another Christmas apart.

Grimsley's style is unadorned and understated. His familiar gothicism is replaced by a modern South with conflict set amidst affluence--the conflict of two men's vastly different backgrounds and their families' vastly differing expectations of them. Their pasts constantly threaten to swallow up their chances. Dan is an HIV+ administrator in the Atlanta hospital where Ford McKinney is completing his residency. (Readers of Winter Birds remember Danny, the hemophiliac child who narrates the drunken binges of a father who terrorizes his family with violence just short of murder.) Ford is the privileged, only son of old Savannah gentility: his parents have his life planned. Like grandfather and father, he'll be a physician and marry into Country Club society. They even pick the girl. When Ford insists he'll make his own choices and may not be the "marrying type," they still don't get it.

Dan's mother isn't exactly comfortable with her son's homosexuality, but her life on the brink of disaster has taught her that what counts is the love between herself and her children. That Danny is gay could never diminish her love for him, and when he brings Ford to her trailer in the back woods of North Carolina, she welcomes them.

As divisive as the strain between Ford and his family is, the most intense struggles are waged within the lovers themselves as they fight against their own cultures and natures. Both have pride bred in the bone, and Dan's dirt-poor heritage and hemophilia along with Ford's inability to conceive how money could be an issue often threaten to undo them.

"Comfort & Joy" is about uncovering the self and discovering a relationship. While every gain is forged in pain, it is a book of hope--a story ending on the day after Christmas full of tidings of comfort and joy.

Although _Comfort and Joy_ shares characters with an earlier work by Grimsley, _Winter Birds_, the two novels could not be more different. Whereas the earlier work is a dark, harrowing tale of violence and domestic abuse, the present novel chronicles the hesitant, tender romance between a grown-up Dan Crell, coping with hemophilia and HIV as well as the scars left by his upbringing, and Ford McKinney, a handsome doctor from a rich family. They meet at the hospital where Dan is an administrator and Ford is a resident, fall in love and struggle with the issues so many gay male couples face: intimacy, money and their families. Though occasionally there is clumsy expository dialogue, surprising for a writer as skilled as Grimsley, and a false note or two in the romance, ultimately the author convinces the reader of his central argument. The contrasting holiday scenes in the Atlanta household and the humble residence of Dan's mother, now remarried, in South Carolina show that the rigid gentility of Ford's well-to-do Atlanta family constitutes its own kind of domestic abuse. One roots for the survival of this unlikely couple, and is uplifted by the ambiguous but hopeful ending. I read the earlier _Winter Birds_ some time after finishing _Comfort and Joy_ and realized that, despite the dramatic contrast in tone between the two, knowing the former adds depth to the later story and increases one's appreciation of both works.

Originally published in 1999, I'm surprised I didn't get around to reading this book earlier. I enjoyed Grimsley's other books, particularly "Winter Birds" and "Dream Boy." I think this is one of those books that I thought I had read some time ago and forgotten. I think I also figured it was a Christmas book and didn't want to read it "out of season."

It is a Christmas book, sort of. Ignore the reviews that say "this is what happens when you bring your significant other home for Christmas." Trust me, that's just a plot device. The title refers to the chorus of the carol, "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen." In a nutshell, Dan, a shy hospital administrator, takes Ford, his goodlooking pediatrician boyfriend, home for the holidays. Dan's family is poor, Ford's is rich. Dan is completely out, Ford is still closeted. Dan has hemophilia and is HIV positive, Ford is completely healthy. These differences escalate into conflicts as the book moves back and forth between the present and flashbacks of their developing relationship.

Though the book is set at Christmas, in fact, Christmas is an excuse for Grimsley to write a meditation on why men stay together.

From the book:

"And they would wonder, without words, without sound: Why do men stay together? It is easy to understand why they f*ck, but why do they stay together, what is the answer? Why do they live in the same house, share meals together, argue about money and parents, why do they have pets, plant begonias, bring home birthday cakes? Where are the children, where is the sense of permanence, what is the tie that binds?

Yet they slept peacefully, side by side, and the body of one became adjusted to the rhythm of the other, and the breathing of one slowed the breathing of the other, and they dreamed in tandem and shared fragments of each other's dreams, and they grew more like each other day by day, not in personality but in the fissures of the brain, because, seeing the same things every day, day after day, they laid down crevices in themselves that were the same shape, that were the same events written into memory, and this was enough, without words, to keep them silent about the fact of their hates and their fears, their deep concerns about each other, and the certainty that one of them would die first and neither of them knew which one it would be. The certainty that one of them would leave first, and that only by waiting could they learn which of the two."

Readers of Jim Grimsley's earlier novels--Winter Birds, Dream Boy, and My Drowning--might be surprised by the title of his new novel, Comfort & Joy, for there is little of either in his other writings. But this one has both as Dan Crell and Ford McKinney put their fragile, unlikely relationship to the test of coming out to their families--because they refuse to spend another Christmas apart. Grimsley's style is unadorned and understated. His familiar gothicism is replaced by a modern South with conflict set amidst affluence--the conflict of two men's vastly different backgrounds and their families' vastly differing expectations of them. Their pasts constantly threaten to swallow up their chances. Dan is an HIV+ administrator in the Atlanta hospital where Ford McKinney is completing his residency. (Readers of Winter Birds remember Danny, the hemophiliac child who narrates the drunken binges of a father who terrorizes his family with violence just short of murder.) Ford is the privileged, only son of old Savannah gentility: his parents have his life planned. Like grandfather and father, he'll be a physician and marry into Country Club society. They even pick the girl. When Ford insists he'll make his own choices and may not be the "marrying type," they still don't get it. Dan's mother isn't exactly comfortable with her son's homosexuality, but her life on the brink of disaster has taught her that what counts is the love between herself and her children. That Danny is gay could never diminish her love for him, and when he brings Ford to her trailer in the back woods of North Carolina, she welcomes them. As divisive as the strain between Ford and his family is, the most intense struggles are waged within the lovers themselves as they fight against their own cultures and natures. Both have pride bred in the bone, and Dan's dirt-poor heritage and hemophilia along with Ford's inability to conceive how money could be an issue often threaten to undo them.

Comfort & Joy is about uncovering the self and discovering a relationship. While every gain is forged in pain, it is a book of hope--a story ending on the day after Christmas full of comfort and joy.

Grimsley makes it look easy: the mark of a good writer. A well-developed plot, likable (and hate-able) characters, believable dialogue. No cosmic ah-ha's, but then, I wasn't expecting any. Grimsley's two main characters are multi-dimensional and real enough to be occasionally ambivalent about each other. Their love is expressed in actions instead of the simplistic verbal declarations of love most writers (and real people) fall back on. What I really liked was Grimsley's weaving of past and present, giving the reader history and motivation without solving all the questions he engenders. As a writer myself, I know it's difficult to let the reader draw his/her own conclusions, but Grimsley allows it, adding depth to a plot which on the surface might seem overworked. But after all, let's face it: most plots are overworked. If a writer can touch a heartstring or two, to me, they've accomplished their goal. I find myself thinking about the lives of the characters and wondering how they're doing, even weeks after reading the book. For me, that's one of the signs of a good read. I would love to read Comfort & Joy in first person point of view, from either Ford's or Dan's perspective.

"Why do they live in the same house, share meals together, argue about money and parents, why do they have pets, plant begonias, bring home birthday cakes? Where are the children, where is the sense of permanence, what is the tie that binds? (p.207)" It is in pursuit of questions like these that this that we are lead as Dan and Ford explore how intimate gay relationships are initiated, negotiated, and finally, consummated - in the fullest meaning of that term. How is it that two unlikely beings can come to the point of finding that living can only be complete when it involves both of them; together? It is also a wonderful examination of the fears and anxiety as well as the 'comfort and joy' of both discovering, and ultimately being true to ones self.

This is one of the most satisfying novels I have read in years. There is enough plot interest to keep the reader engaged, but the real treasure in this read is in watching the author weave together the delicate fabric of a committed relationship between two men - in a society where this is still not accepted as the norm. We are permitted to feel the pain which is experienced by these two men as they seek to develop a strong and meaningful relationship, but we are also given full measure of the comfort and joy that can come from the effort.

Because the novel is as real as it is exciting, it allows the reader to reflect on their own experience with forming and keeping intimate relationships in a way that is as helpful as it is full of power and passion. A great novel not only for gay readers but for anyone who wants to better understand what's involved for gay people seeking to form lasting relationships.

I have to read Mr. Grimsley's other books now. I read "Comfort and Joy" in 2 evenings. I usually am reading 3 to 4 books at a time, but this one caught and kept my attention, mainly because of the gorgeous prose and the similarities to my own life. Everything in this book rang true for me. Coming home for the holidays, coming out to your family and co-workers, the bittersweet, often fragile family relationships, the fear of coming to terms with your own gayness, from the first feelings of desire all the way through moving in together, the parents who will not accept you or your partner, the class differences between your partner's family and your own...all are explored in this poignant, deeply felt novel. This is one of my all time faves now.

Finding this book, withot prior knowledge of the author or his other works, was an act of serendipity. Seldom is one given the opportunity to read of characters so well drawn,so real and so fragile, that when finishing the book, one is sadded by the loss of such friends as these. Mr.Grimsley has written of human emotions, not just those of gay men and women. If the exotic characters of Ethan Mordden's New York Greenwich Village stride over our lives, Grimsley's tip-toe down the hallways of our minds in endearing but no less memorable footsteps.Familiar topics are presented here,HIV,phobias,rejection,fear,love and indeed hope. Yet, each are given a fresh approach that blends so well with the spare but oh so poignant writing. A hint: upon finishing the book, re-read the first chapter. Truly it will complete a circle; almost as if the book never ends.I held my copy close to my heart when I finished reading, and promised myself to return to it in a year and a day.

Jim Grimsley's "Comfort & Joy" is a deceptive little piece. The story explores interpersonal relationships but it also has a lot to say about where we stand in the year 2000 with our country's level of maturity when dealing with variations from the "norm". The well constructed meeting, courtship, dating, mating, and sharing the newly formed couple unit with both families of Dan and Ford goes far beyond the problems usually asociated with same sex marriage. And the problems encountered in this voyage are not solely external traumas: gay homophobia ( as in closeted people), self perceptions, dealing with disease that just happens to include HIV, the work place and personal life boundaries. Grimsley draws likeable chaps and then introduces lineage and tradition of family, both derived from wealth and privilege and from poverty and trauma. His ability to maintain a flowing tale - describing memorable places (few have made a trailer-park home inside a cemetary seem more real and ultimately more inviting), sharing real circumstances of hospital based life, giving us the scent of the South - displays a novelist who is gifted, and he manages to be succinct enough that our attention never falters. The Afterburn? Putting this easy read aside upon completion we feel sensitized to our own vulnerability in dealing with a world not always friendly. Can we make it better.....?