Coming Out: An Act of Love (Plume) [Paperback]

Rob Eichberg (Author)

Book Description

Series: Plume | Publication Date: October 31, 1991

For gay men and lesbians, as well as for the families and friends of gays, this 1990's guide to coming out privately and publicly is a frank, powerful, and much-needed book. Eichberg says that a full-scale effort to find a cure for AIDS will only be implemented when gay people collectively affirm their sexuality.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Taking responsibility for your life is the first step in moving forward and changing the world inside and around you. Rob Eichberg's Coming Out: An Act of Love, written for both men and women, is a step-by-step guide to understanding and accepting your homosexuality and dealing with others' reaction to it. Using clear, empathetic, and direct language, Eichberg, a trained psychotherapist, explains in detail how coming out radically alters self-perception and your relationships with others. Using examples from his own practice and letters from gay people to their mothers, fathers, siblings, and friends, Eichberg puts a positive, forceful, but gentle face on the process of coming out and the complications that it sometimes raises.

Eichberg discusses coming out as a psychological and political process that affects not only individuals but their families as well. Because this book continually reaffirms gayness as a gift for everyone--straight and gay--it can be read by gay people coming to terms with their sexuality and by their parents, friends, and coworkers. There are also chapters on how AIDS has affected the coming out process and how to deal with AIDS-phobia on a personal and political level. Coming Out: An Act of Love centers on the individual, but understands that one person's actions of self-respect and love can begin to change the world. --Michael Bronski

From Publishers Weekly

Clinical psychologist Eichberg has written a practical, step-by-step self-help guide for lesbians and gay men who wish to come out of the closet. Co-founder of a weekend coming-out workshop and of National Coming-Out Day, Eichberg draws on his professional experience as he guides readers toward self-esteem and suggests ways to cope with fears of being rejected or disowned; with feelings of isolation, guilt, powerlessness; with their own defensive anger and aggressiveness. This exceptionally well-written manual includes sections on coming out to parents, friends, spouses, business associates and employers; on integrating sexuality with one's religious beliefs; and on the sociopolitical dimensions of coming out during the AIDS epidemic. Piercingly honest letters from workshop participants are interwoven with Eichberg's insightful advice. This powerful book will also be helpful to heterosexuals who seek a better understanding of gay relatives and friends.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Plume (October 31, 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452266858
• ISBN-13: 978-0452266858
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #764,649 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #63 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Coming Out

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The greatest gift is the gift of one's self., October 26, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Coming Out: An Act of Love (Plume) (Paperback)

In being gay, there are certain "shared experiences" most can relate to. The act of "coming out" to family and friends is probably the most apprehensive for most. This "How-to" book relates, through true-life anecdotes, letters, and stories, various methods that have been employed successfully by participants in the author's workshop of the same subject. We found the book to be filled with compassion, understanding, and empathy for those who are coming out, as well as for those to whom the coming out process is directed. If one word were used to describe his understanding and approach to coming out, "keen sensitivity" leaps to mind (ok, that's two words). Dr. Eichberg is aware that the coming out process not only affects the one who comes out, but is also a "coming out" process for those who now are fully included in the life of a gay relative or friend. · He considers coming out an "act of love" to the extent that the homosexual wants to fully include those in his/her life. While some may view "coming out" an act of aggression or rebellion, he convincingly makes the argument that it is actually an appeal for recognition of their basic human dignity and value to society. At many levels, the gay man or woman is seeking not only acceptance, but also approval from the ones they love and respect. He recognizes that one of the most significant mental hurdles to be overcome by those considering coming out is the possibility of rejection While he recognizes this as a distinct possibility (and offers some examples of this negative outcome ... no pun intended), he reinforces the positive aspects of coming out for all involved. · He urges those who come out to make themselves available for help and support as relatives and friends come to grips with the new knowledge of their relationship. He reminds us that, while it may have taken years to come to the decision to come out, relatives and friends will need time and support to process their own emotions (their personal coming out process). He recognizes that they and their emotions are an integral part of the process as well. · Even though coming out is a personal act, the author recognizes the social implications of the collective act. He espouses that as more people come out to relatives and friends, the more "visible" and immediate the gay community, which in turns help increase understanding and hopefully support for gay-related political, social, and legal issues that are currently being debated in society today. We recommend this book as one of many to help those considering coming out as well as a resource for those to whom a relative or friend discloses themselves as gay. We think that the many complex issues involved in such a revelation are discussed in an intelligent and empathetic manner, illustrating that the truth truly is an "act of love".

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must in every gay self-help library, September 28, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Coming Out: An Act of Love (Plume) (Paperback)

Rob Eichberg's straightforward, simple, writing style paired with his knowledge in this field makes for a book that is a must for every gay self-help library. This book helped me immensely in my own coming out process, and I have recommended it to friends who have benefited from it as well.

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A life-changing book., April 6, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Coming Out: An Act of Love (Plume) (Paperback)

A gay friend recommended that I read this book because of The Experience workshop. The book integrates exercises from the workshop with many actual letters from people who are coming out. Not only did this book help me understand my friend better, but it has helped me to better understand unconditional love and empowerment. As I told my friend, I love this book so much that I think he should recommend it to ALL his straight friends.