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Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child [Paperback]

Michael C. LaSala
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Book Description

June 24, 2010

The discovery that a child is lesbian or gay can send shockwaves through a family. A mother will question how she's raised her son; a father will worry that his daughter will experience discrimination. From the child's perspective, gay and lesbian youth fear their families will reject them and that they will lose financial and emotional support. All in all, learning a child is gay challenges long-held views about sexuality and relationships, and the resulting uncertainty can produce feelings of anger, resentment, and concern.

Through a qualitative, multicultural study of sixty-five gay and lesbian children and their parents, Michael LaSala, a leading expert on this issue, outlines effective, practice-tested interventions for families in transition. His research reveals surprising outcomes, such as learning that a child is homosexual can improve familial relationships, including father-child relationships, even if a parent reacts strongly or negatively to the revelation. By confronting feelings of depression, anxiety, and grief head on, LaSala formulates the best approach for practitioners who hope to reestablish intimacy among family members and preserve family connections—as well as individual autonomy—well into the child's maturation. By restricting his study to parents and children of the same family, LaSala accurately captures the reciprocal effects of family interactions, identifying them as targets for effective treatment. Coming Out, Coming Home is also a valuable text for families, enabling adjustment through relatable scenarios and analyses.


Frequently Bought Together

Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child + Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together + Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences
Price for all three: $50.12

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

Essential reading for anyone involved in a counseling position and even parents who are having difficulties with helping their children to come out.

(Lezly Herbert Out in Perth )

Coming Out, Coming Home is an informative and accessible book that contains myriad insights into the many obstacles, both internal and external, that families face as gay and lesbian children reach out for acceptance and support.

(Journal of Homosexuality Vol 58, No 2)

Review

LaSala draws on years of working with families and their gay and lesbian children to write a warm and wonderfully compassionate book. With insight and wisdom, his study examines very real and honest stories of how gay and lesbian people cope with accepting their families and how parents and siblings work to love and protect their offspring. It takes a remarkable look into the human condition of gay and lesbian struggles in the twenty-first century, and I highly recommend it.

(Gilbert Herdt, San Francisco State University, and coauthor of Children of Horizons: How Gay and Lesbian Teens are Leading a New Way Out of the Closet )

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Columbia University Press (June 24, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0231143834
  • ISBN-13: 978-0231143837
  • Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 6.1 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #242,874 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A "life changer"! March 10, 2013
By Lisa B
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Even as a Social Worker, I found myself in unchartered territory when my daughter explained to me that she was gay....I had heard about this book from a friend and purchased it the same night that my daughter came out to me. It was a life saver at the moment and helped me to better understand the "process" it would be as a parent of a gay or lesbian child and that what I was feeling was completely normal - I strongly encourage any parent who finds themselves in the same situation to purchase this book!!
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential Reading June 13, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Dr. LaSala's book invites readers to listen in as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender young people reveal themselves to their parents. We see families break through the tension of pre-disclosure into the drama that often comes with revelation, and, finally, achieve hard-won benefits as they reach the calm that eventually follows.

Balancing case narratives with concise recommendations, Dr. LaSala gives us a book that delivers value to both lay readers and professionals alike.

The best writing moves us to new levels of understanding and action. This one achieves that standard. Coming Out, Coming Home introduces readers to young people who refuse to be diminished by homophobia. Instead they insist on claiming their place in the world. In doing so they transform their families and communities. And while witnessing their courage we gain understanding, inspiration, and hope.
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