Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents [Paperback]

Mary Borhek (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1993

Listed by American Bookseller as "among the most important gay and lesbian books that should be represented in any general bookstore," Borhek's original edition of this book (1983) has also been praised as "sound, sympathetic, and helpful" (St. Luke's Journal of Theology). In this thorough revision, Borhek brings an additional decade of personal knowledge and experience to bear on the subject of coming out.

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Pilgrim Press; Rev Upd edition (October 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0829809570
• ISBN-13: 978-0829809572
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #639,450 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #90 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Parenting & Families

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Comprehensive, insightful and informative, August 26, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents (Paperback)

I have recently felt it was the right time to come out to my parents. After reading many enlightening books on homosexuality (among them: John Spong's "Living in Sin?," Mel White's "Stranger At the Gate," Daniel Helminiak's "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality," and Bruce Bawer's "A Place At the Table"), Borhek's book was the first one that truly let me enter the minds and thoughts of my parents. Herself being the parent of a gay son, Borhek gave me an idea of how my own parents would react once I came out to them. The book also successfully relates the difficult and often very painful experience of growing up in a Christian home and (seemingly at odds with that faith) recognizing one's innate homosexuality (in my case, realizing that I am a gay man). I have already purchased a second copy of the book to give to my parents, and I am now hopeful that this "two-way survival guide" will be a helpful part of what enables them to understand and accept this integral, important part of who I am.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely helpful, August 31, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents (Paperback)

I found this book helpful in my own coming out process. It let me know that all of my fears and issues were normal and just what many other people were also feeling. It helped me think through the process before I actually came out to my parents. I also found my parents reaction in the book, which I found comforting. They were not as angry as I expected, but they were not happy and supportive, either. They very much wanted to forget I had told them and wanted nothing to do with my partner. I am now about to loan the book to my parents in hopes that they will find comfort and understanding from it, like I did. I recommend this book to anyone who is thinking about coming out to their parents.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Second edition is first rate!, February 11, 2003

By 

. "scarlet9" (OH United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents (Paperback)

This book is in its second edition -- updated in the 90's to include information about HIV and AIDS. One of the things that it stresses when coming out is to make sure to include the statement "BEING GAY DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET AIDS." -- a few times if necessary.

I have felt the need to come out to my family for a long time about my own emotional/sexual status. This book helped me a lot as far as planning my strategy, what to say, etc. It contains a TON of useful info concerning how to make "coming out" as painless as possible -- *for all involved*.

To sum it right up? [edit] Here I am at 32 years old, and after having the grand "here's my life and all of its gory details" [love, sex, religion, you name it] discussion with my mom in Dec2003, I feel like I can breathe again. This book helped me formulate approaches for coming out about just about ANYthing that might not be "acceptable" in SOMEbody's eyes.

... not to mention -- it has some wonderful information in there for family members too, so if you aren't straight and narrow *definitely* lend it to them after you have come out, or if you are a family member who is still looking for some more answers as to how your child's/sibling's/parent's(') sexual orientation might effect your relationship with them -- BUY THIS BOOK!