Customer Reviews

Coming Out to Parents: Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents

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I have recently felt it was the right time to come out to my parents. After reading many enlightening books on homosexuality (among them: John Spong's "Living in Sin?," Mel White's "Stranger At the Gate," Daniel Helminiak's "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality," and Bruce Bawer's "A Place At the Table"), Borhek's book was the first one that truly let me enter the minds and thoughts of my parents. Herself being the parent of a gay son, Borhek gave me an idea of how my own parents would react once I came out to them. The book also successfully relates the difficult and often very painful experience of growing up in a Christian home and (seemingly at odds with that faith) recognizing one's innate homosexuality (in my case, realizing that I am a gay man). I have already purchased a second copy of the book to give to my parents, and I am now hopeful that this "two-way survival guide" will be a helpful part of what enables them to understand and accept this integral, important part of who I am.

I found this book helpful in my own coming out process. It let me know that all of my fears and issues were normal and just what many other people were also feeling. It helped me think through the process before I actually came out to my parents. I also found my parents reaction in the book, which I found comforting. They were not as angry as I expected, but they were not happy and supportive, either. They very much wanted to forget I had told them and wanted nothing to do with my partner. I am now about to loan the book to my parents in hopes that they will find comfort and understanding from it, like I did. I recommend this book to anyone who is thinking about coming out to their parents.

This book is in its second edition -- updated in the 90's to include information about HIV and AIDS. One of the things that it stresses when coming out is to make sure to include the statement "BEING GAY DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET AIDS." -- a few times if necessary.

I have felt the need to come out to my family for a long time about my own emotional/sexual status. This book helped me a lot as far as planning my strategy, what to say, etc. It contains a TON of useful info concerning how to make "coming out" as painless as possible -- *for all involved*.

To sum it right up? [edit] Here I am at 32 years old, and after having the grand "here's my life and all of its gory details" [love, sex, religion, you name it] discussion with my mom in Dec2003, I feel like I can breathe again. This book helped me formulate approaches for coming out about just about ANYthing that might not be "acceptable" in SOMEbody's eyes.

... not to mention -- it has some wonderful information in there for family members too, so if you aren't straight and narrow *definitely* lend it to them after you have come out, or if you are a family member who is still looking for some more answers as to how your child's/sibling's/parent's(') sexual orientation might effect your relationship with them -- BUY THIS BOOK!

Awesome, I bought this for my parents after I came out to them because I noticed that they weren't dealing with it at all. They don't know gay people and therefore only saw gay people as stereotypes. This book brings your mind back to the obvious reasonings. They are still reading the book, so watch this space for their reactions. There is a section for religion and dealing with AIDS as well. Mary Borhek has done a wonderful job with this book. Unbiased and real!!

I just finished reading this book since it was recomened by so many. I can say that the author put allot of time into this book and has done a wonderful job.
As you read through this book you start to understand what you and your parents go thorugh in certain steps of your life and coming out.
I have been out to myself for just about a year. It was not until I accepted to myself that I am gay can I expect others to accept me for who I am.
After reading this book, I thought allot about my life, how I do not share it with family, then I realized it was time for me to come out to my parents and family.
I now have the courage thanks to this book. I hope you read this book and come to the conclusion that you too have the courage.

Coming out to my mom and dad was the most terrifying prospect I ever had to deal with, but I knew the day would come eventually when I had to face them with my being gay. Like so many gay people, I had no idea how to do it or even how to know that I was ready. Thank God for this book! It helped to make a potentially horrible experience better for me and for them. Thank you, Ms. Borhek!

For the purposes of weathering coming out this is a good guide. Decodes lots of parental feelings I didnt understand. Buy two copies one for the folks and one for you. Coming out to your parents is a toughie and this author is a parent who has been through this and isnt a santimonious so-and-so but real down to earth.

This book was very helpfull. It made an incredibly difficult thing that much easier. Very easy to read for both parents and their children.

I think it is interesting that the author began her introduction with the idea that one of the reasons parents have such a tough time with their child coming out is because the concept of homosexuality is somewhat novel in this century. In fact the phenomenon of homosexuality is anything but new, au contraire, it has been around since time immemorial. It was widely practiced by the Greeks, and later easily spread among the Romans as well: think Nero and his cohorts, etc. I believe the exact opposite is true: it's not because homosexuality is novel that many parents have a problem coming "to terms" with homosexuality, it's more likely that most adults react negatively towards their child's coming out, because of what's happened to civilizations in history due in some measure to the pervasive and debilitating effects homosexual behavior has had on society. It's just as possible that some folks' reactions are due to knowledge rather than ignorance...