Psychologist and psychotherapist Kaufman (Shame: The Power of Caring, Shenckman, 1981) has been publishing on shame for two decades; Raphael, his life partner of ten years, is best known for his fiction (Winter Eyes, St. Martin's, 1992). Together they present the main features of shame theory based on the work of Silvan Tomkins; they then move on to examine how internalized shame and fear impact on self-esteem, identity, and intimacy, specifically in the life experiences of lesbians and gay men. Maintaining that the self is continuously evolving, the authors offer "reparenting" imagery to transform scenes in an attempt to help make patterns of emotion more visible and thus diminish shame in individuals and relationships, as well as facilitate resolution of such issues as sexual monogamy. The use of humor and examples from case studies help mitigate the text's redundancy. The technical terminology somewhat obscures the many insights in this book clearly intended for the sophisticated layperson. For public collections strong on gay issues.?James E. Van Buskirk, San Francisco P.L.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Basing their approach in the psychology of Silvan S. Tomkins, who believed humans are governed by emotions rather than, as Freud averred, sexuality and aggression, Kaufman and Raphael explain how one emotion--shame--affects, overwhelmingly negatively, the lives of homosexuals and what gay individuals and couples can do to transcend shame's ill effects. They neatly dovetail theory, illustrative anecdotes, and prescriptive advice as they exhaustively survey the almost innumerable ways in which shame undermines personal security, happiness, and mental health. If it sometimes seems that the methods they relay for transforming shame into pride are inadequate to the battle with shame they see gays as doomed to fight and refight, at least they themselves, as a couple who have overcome shame in many contexts, can cite their own experiences to argue that specific victories are possible. A singularly intelligent example of the psychological self-help genre. Ray Olson --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
too technical and complicated; describes the problem very well but very little practical advice on how to resolve or remove this very painful emotion. Read morePublished 4 days ago by K-Dawg
I had a difficult time when a friend first handed me this book, asking for my opinion of it; despite regularly reading far more complex material, and despite having been... Read morePublished 1 month ago by ToddInSF
Recommended by my therapist, this book is a little on the wordy side, but definitely good material (and not only for the GLBT community)Published 5 months ago by Walter P. Sherman
one of the BEST books I have read in my entire life since reading this book my self esteem has RISEN wowPublished 23 months ago by JOSE