Customer Reviews

Coming Out Straight: Understanding and Healing Homosexuality

5 star:		(73)
4 star:		(13)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(73)

 

 

I think that this book can be interesting for those who are curious about homosexuality, but the book is subject to a ton of assumptions that make it necessary to keep your wits about you as you read.

If you're reading it for yourself or because of someone else, be sure to read a copy of "Stranger at the Gate" by Mel White as well: if you really want information on all sides of the question, White's book is an important component to keep in mind.

Like many people, I have heard press reports and read longer studies about the genetic factor in homosexuality. No one has found a "gay gene" per se--but keep in mind that there are very few human characteristics that have *one* gene associated with them. Even something as simple-seeming as eye color is determined by at least ten different genes. Thus, while no published study has actually identified a "gay gene," *all* the studies point to a strong genetic factor. Cohen and pro-Cohen reviewers of this book make claims like "researchers have shyed away from a genetic factor": this is meant to confuse you. It's true that researchers shy away from a *single* "gay gene," but no scientific researcher looking at evidence out there would say that there no genetic component. I have to say that Cohen's skewed presentation of the facts on this issue is disturbing and makes me wonder why he's trying to hide obvious and readily accessible information.

Cohen's counterexplanations for the origins of homosexuality, explaining why people are gay, are even more poorly supported by scientific research out there. Again, he presents the information in such a way as to confuse the reader--it would have been more honest to admit that his anecdotes and explanations lack the same rigorous testing that other more widely accepted explanations do.

I have been a Christian counselor for over fifteen years. I read this book hopeful it would provide insights, but I have been extremely disappointed in the skewed nature and evasive tactics Cohen uses to "support" his points. This is not as much a guide to therapy or counseling as it is a personal biography of Cohen's experience--which by all accounts has been *highly* unusual. His guidelines for the self-therapy he proposes will not work for the vast majority of people (if not all people): and that's the voice of experience. His assumptions are in many cases faulty.

Cohen is tackling a controversial subject, indeed, but he has been less courageous than evasive. His appearances in interviews on TV, etc., indicate to me that he has ulterior motives in publicizing this book (money? notariety?).

His faulty reasoning, evasive content, and dishonest presentation about the status of scientific research on homosexuality all have lead me to the conslusion that this book is "quacky." My final recommendation: not worth reading.

He's not a doctor, he's not licensed, and he has no real qualifications. The assertions he makes in this book are not based on science, they're based on his disturbed view of the world.

Some of his advice, including holding the gay "sufferer" around his lap and cuddling with them, are um......just a little bit gay.

Other advice includes punching a pillow like a 3 year old.

This man is just completely unqualified to make the statements he does about sexual orientation, and most of the statements go against all the available science out there.

Because many individuals involved in the debate over homosexuality appear to desire a passionate and emotional discussion, with the implication on both sides that "if you're not with us you're against us", this is one issue I tend to shy away from.

However, I know Richard Cohen and feel compelled to offer a review. I first met Richard nearly 13 years ago. I only knew him a short time before my company required me to relocate. I lost contact with him over 10 years ago. Recently, an acquaintenance of mine gave my wife his address and I contacted him to see what he was up to. He gave me a copy of his book.

Since I knew Richard when he began the journey that culminated in this book, I was curious as to how well it would agree with the experiences I had with him. I was impressed not only at how well he has articulated his views but, more importantly, how consistent the book is with what I know about Richard's history and struggle. I was impressed, too, that he had the courage to share some very personal, unflattering and painful experiences with the reading public.

I myself wonder whether spiritual and/or biological predestination is involved in the phenomenon of same-sex attraction. Richard's book does not answer that question for me, but it does provide compelling information about the possible origins of the phenomenon in terms the roles of (a) early childhood experiences with parent figures and (b) childhood sexual abuse.

As a non-homosexual, who admittedly has been baffled and frustrated by this issue, it strikes me how emotional and strident both sides can be. I am offended by those who seek to shame and dehumanize people who identify themselves as gay and lesbian. I am just as offended (puzzled really) by the militant gays and lesbians who seek to shame and dehumanize those who disagree with their views and further polarize the debate into an "us versus them" discussion.

I am also dismayed that the gay and lesbian community does not take a more clear and unambivalent stand regarding the fact that sexual relations between adults and children (this includes teenagers) is wrong under any circumstances. I do not sense that many homosexuals have come to terms with sexual abuse within their own history. My perception is that many homosexuals have desensitized themselves to (perhaps even repressed their memories of) their own abuse experiences.

Richard Cohen's book provides information that I see is typically missing from the debates on the subject. It relates directly from personal experience--the author is not trying to deceive you with a sanitized version of his history--it's not pretty. He hurt his wife deeply and admits it. He needed help from others and asked for it. He acknowledges all who did what they could to help him along the way, for I can attest there were many.

You may not agree with him, but you have to admire his pluck and honesty. I admire his integrity and for staying true to the vision he shared with me those many years ago. I do not suggest that every homosexual has to adopt his views and approach, but he and others who choose this route should be given all the room they need.

I appreciate the work that Richard Cohen has compiled in his book, C.O.S. I too am on the same journey and concur with many of his findings, though not all. Richard stands for those of us who have desired to pursue an alternative path than the homosexual lifestyle. I do not criticize my friends who are gay and would appreciate those activists attacking our position to let us be. We are the new group of people who are discriminated against. Gay activists ask that we respect their right to chose their own lifestyle, then respect our right and stop your calculated attacks against Cohen and others alike.

I have read Richard Cohen's book and found his analysis concerning the lack of validity of the current scientific research on genetics of homosexuality accurate and helpful. He has shared not only his own journey but his therapeutic tools for healing of the deep wounds causing homosexual cravings. Clergy, therapists, and those seeking to make sense of the current homosexual debate should read this book.

I highly recommend this book as well as Thomas E. Schmidt's book, Straight and Narrow (Intervarsity Press).

This is a first-class source of non-emotional guidance for those seeking information on gender confusion. The examples and the author's personal history prove that with the proper motivation and faith, change is always possible. For those without those prerequisites, it may plant the seed that grows later. Impressive!

When I read Mr. Cohen's book I was amazed. My son is gay and Mr. Cohen succeeded in decribing him so well that I can understand my son much better. The content was clear and informative. Gay people that are not content with their orientation no longer have to Just settle.

Finally, a rational study on homosexuality. Cohen presents this reasoned approach to homosexuality at great personal cost. Anti-Semites are lining up to bash him and this important work in the name of preserving the status quo, but this courageous man stands proud. His accomplishments will be long remembered and one day this modern day Renaissance man will be appreciated for his efforts.

Can someone who considers himself gay become straight? Is true recovery possible, or does someone trying to escape the gay life doom himself to a life of, day-by-day, hanging on to the ledge by his fingernails, fighting against urges that will ultimately overpower him and take him back into homosexual relationships and behavior again?

Well, the title of the book triumphantly declares the result of Cohen's experience, and the result that anyone who truly wants to change can achieve. Sure, it will be a battle. After all, the flesh wants what it wants, when it wants it. But Cohen skillfully displays the way out, drawing deeply on his own experience as a homosexual, and fearlessly confronting every false belief about homosexuality.

Do not be deceived. The "average rating" for this book will be "average." That doesn't describe the book's quality--which is first rate. That describes the struggle that goes on for the lives of gay men and women in this country. Those who have an interest in others staying gay will do reviews that absolutely slash this book. Those who see the truth unafraid will--as I have done--praise and applaud Cohen for doing a courageous and first-rate job of setting out the truth and the light.

If you or someone you love are gay, and don't want to be, this is the one book you need. May God be with you in your journey over the bridge of hope into a new life for you and your family.

Through reading this book I gained not only knowledge, but a deep sense of compassion for the incredible struggle for those who are experiencing the "same sex attraction disorder" or homosexuality. This book alone could help anyone who wants to come out of the homosexual lifestyle, but just as important, it helps give a deeper understanding for those who have a close friend or relative involved, and just want to be there for them in an nonjudgemental way. People fear what they don't understand. This book is generous to overflowing with insights and solutions on every level. Every clergyman, counselor, teacher, parent as well as anyone involved in the homosexual lifestyle should read this book. It's clearly written with true case histories highlighted throughout the book, including Richard Cohen's own story. The author offers a step by step process that can bring about change that any layman can understand. I don't see how anyone can afford not to read this book.