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Coming to Term: A Father's Story of Birth, Loss, and Survival

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While there are many books that address the trauma of prematurity and loss, there are few that discuss preeclampsia and its devastating ability to suddenly, and without warning upend lives. Fewer still consider the impact on the father. William H. Woodwell Jr.’s new book, Coming to Term: A Father’s Story of Birth, Loss and Survival (University of Mississippi Press)shares a father’s journey through the tidal wave of that experience and into the silent devastation that is the aftermath of preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome.

Woodwell does not shy away from the painful reality of this trauma... he explores carefully and with great conscience the day to day toll of preeclampsia, prematurity and loss. I cannot recommend this book enough for women who have been through this, to better understand their husband's perspective, to fathers who don't know how to express what they are dealing with, and to families, friends and co-workers who don't know what to think or say.

There were only two things I found missing, not wanting, in this book.
1) more information about the disease and its prevalence; and
2)Woodwell's wife's perspective, Kim's story, the story of 200,000 US women each year whose pregnancies are seriously compromised by preeclampsia.
One can be found in Woodwell's Washington Post article about preeclampsia and its prevalence and both can be found at our website ...

The Preeclampsia Foundation is a 501(c)(3) dedicated to funding and supporting research, public awareness, and support to women and their families impacted by preeclampsia and related hypertensive disorders of pregnancy. Preeclampsia is the second leading cause of maternal mortality in the US each year and a leading cause of infant death and prematurity. Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome directly contribute to the problems stemming from being born too small and too soon. More common than breast cancer, preeclampsia is currently listed on the Centers for Disease Control's Rare and Orphaned Disease list. We aim to change that.

Woodwell's book is a godsend for us and the families whose worlds will never be the same. If you or your family have been through this experience--I cannot recommend it highly enough. It finally helped me understand that far away look fathers get when their wives start talking about their experience. It is not a place many of us wants to return to--but it is where healing begins.

Coming to Term helped me understand the day to day struggle of my nephew and his wife whose twin daughters were born very prematurely one month after Kim and Bill Woodwell's babies. One of the twins died a month later, and the guilt and grief these parents felt was made more real to me by Woodwell's story. I also finally understand why my nephew's wife was pumping and storing her milk for many weeks before her baby could breastfeed, and how difficult it is to wean an extreme preemie to the breast. The story is especially poignant told from a father's point of view. Woodwell opens his emotions and vulnerabilities as we follow his journey from skeptical father-to-be to a father and husband who now greets each day as a gift. In addition to its educational value, Coming to Term is a truly inspirational book.

What happens to a family when, looking ahead to celebrating the birth of twins, they are suddenly faced with the loss of one daughter and the questionable survival of another? How does a father support his family emotionally and deal with his own feelings of loss, guilt, and fear, when his children enter the world after only twenty-four weeks in the womb?

Despite the difficulty most parents experience in sharing their struggles, William H. Woodwell successfully tells his story in a way that informs, validates, reassures, and even inspires other parents confronting similar horrors. In "Coming to Term: A Father’s Story of Birth, Loss and Survival", he describes in detail the events surrounding his wife’s life-threatening pregnancy and the subsequent early birth of their twins. With an honest prose and candid tone, Mr. Woodwell successfully conveys the sense of loss and despair felt by parents who suddenly find themselves on the emotional roller coaster of prematurity. Parents will appreciate his frank disclosures about how he felt regarding Nina, the more fragile twin, and her early death. His candor and empathetic understanding will help parents facing similar situations to garner strength. Mr. Woodwell superbly expresses the painful emotions of a husband whose wife is critically ill, of a father whose children face an uncertain future. Confronting a terrible predicament, he openly questions his roles as provider, supporter, and defender of his family, and allows the reader to glimpse his grief, uncertainties and feelings of helplessness. He illustrates the surreal atmosphere that surrounds high-risk birth and neonatal intensive care units, simultaneously discussing the bittersweet aspects of the experience and the crisp medical prescriptions for his family. Coming to Term is tough to read in many ways, and its audience is likely to find their emotions welling to surface, but it ends as a simple and beautiful story of survival and accomplishment in the face of tremendous adversity. "Coming to Term: A Father's Story of Birth, Loss, and Survival" is endorsed by The Preemie Place, an international support resource for caregivers of premature children...

Our daughter (now 3 and perfectly fine) was premature. Like the author's wife, I also had HELLP and had to be delivered early. The NICU is one terrifying place. Reading this book 3 years later helped to put everything that happened to us in perspective.

This was a great book. I had to read a book for a counseling class I am in, and it totally helped me to understand what parents are feeling and going through.

While this is certainly a profoundly important book for families of extremely premature babies, I think it's almost as valuable for all parents of kids of every age. When you get mad at your teenager, frustrated at your eight-year-old, stressed out from the demands of juggling work and day-care, or just about any challenge that comes with parenting, reflecting on what William and Kim Woodwell did go give two little infants a shot a life will put everything in perspective for you. After reading this book, I gave my perfectly healthy nine-year-old daughter a bear hug and couldn't let go.
And if you're in a position to give counsel or advice to new parents (hospital social worker, physician, clergy), you'll better understand the incredibly complex range of emotions that parents in this situation are trying to cope with.

I thought it might be difficult to read a book that would renew the difficult memories of my own child's premature birth, but I actually found it quite healing. While Mr. Woodwell shares his family's personal experience, he speaks for all of us who have endured this crisis. No one wants to become a parent to a critically ill baby, but those of us who do learn some valuable life lessons. COMING TO TERM reminds us to value life -- that of our children's and our own.

An excellent book for anyone in the health care field - especially all those dealing with birth and loss. The story is written so well that you personally live the experiences with Bill and his wife, Kim. I highly recommend it for all health care professionals in labor and delivery and neonatal intensive care - A must for your reading list.

A good read. Premature birth can be traumatic for not only mom and dad, but the extended family as well. I have found that there are not enough books on the subject. This author's work adds to the list of quality material available.

I would reccomend this book as a companion to Equal to the Task, by Dail R. Cantrell. The books are similiar enough to be read together. Cantrell's book was a Book of the Year nominee, and fills in gaps left by this book. Both books present a powerful message.

Woodwell did an excellent job telling the story of the birth and subsequent death of one of his twins. It was compassionate yet it did not make you cry. I had the honor of speaking with him in a chat and he told me it would not make you cry but I did not believe him. It took my quite sometime to finally pick up the book and read it. I was rooting Josie on the whole time even though I knew the outcome already I could not put it down. As a mom of preemie twins I know first hand the ups and downs of the nicu. A must read for all parents of preemie multiples.