Amazon.com: Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love (9780471740490): Richard A. Isay M.D.: Books
Commitment and Healing and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more


or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
or
Amazon Prime Free Trial required. Sign up when you check out. Learn More
Sell Back Your Copy
For a $1.50 Gift Card
Trade in
More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love
 
 
Start reading Commitment and Healing on your Kindle in under a minute.

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love [Hardcover]

Richard A. Isay M.D. (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)

Price: $19.95 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
Only 4 left in stock--order soon (more on the way).
Want it delivered Monday, February 27? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition $9.99  
Hardcover $19.95  

Book Description

May 19, 2006
"What's love got to do with it? Everything, according to Richard Isay's informed and illuminating look at the role of romance in modern gay life. I highly recommend this book for people of any generation and partnership status."
--Dean H. Hamer, Ph.D., author of The Science of Desire and The God Gene

"Richard Isay offers something far better than simple bromides and false hope. In this book, he challenges us with a provocative, illuminating, and ultimately hopeful look at ourselves and explains how those of us who yearn to love and be loved (and who doesn't?) can best find happiness and healing in a committed relationship."
--Eric Marcus, author of The Male Couple's Guide and Together Forever

"Many gay men (and others, too) are likely to find this book exceptionally interesting and helpful. In a series of vividly illuminating case histories and with a psychoanalyst's depth and clarity of insight, Richard Isay lucidly explains why gay men have particular difficulty in establishing and sustaining loving relationships and how they might sensibly improve their chances of doing so."
--Harry G. Frankfurt, Ph.D., author of On Bullshit and The Reasons of Love

"Richard Isay's portrayals of gay men's lives are likely to be controversial. Isay is not the stereotypical psychoanalyst who sits quietly while his patients ramble--and we're all the better for that. He has something to say and what he says is worth hearing. This provocative book should be read by anyone who yearns for but hasn't yet found real love."
--William Rubenstein, Founding Director of the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and former Director of the ACLU Lesbian & Gay Rights Project

"Based on Dr. Isay's three decades of experience working with gay men in therapy, this is a deeply thoughtful study of the difficulties gay men may experience with falling and staying in love. For a gay man, reading this book may cause him to revisit some dark places along his own life's journey, but it will also give him a glimpse of the self-affirmation and capacity for change that are the goals of gay-positive psychotherapy."
--Simon LeVay, Ph.D., author of Human Sexuality and Queer Science

"Indispensable insights from America's wisest observer of gay relationships."
--Charles Kaiser, author of The Gay Metropolis

"Gay people seek the freedom to marry for the same mix of reasons as non-gay people, and for most, love and commitment are central. Drawing on his exceptional expertise and decades of stories from his patients, Richard Isay explores the challenges and value of romantic love--how to overcome our pasts and enrich our present lives at home--as we build a future of greater equality and inclusion in society."
--Evan Wolfson, author of Why Marriage Matters

Frequently Bought Together

Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love + Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development (Vintage) + Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance (Vintage)
Price For All Three: $47.14

Show availability and shipping details

Buy the selected items together
  • In Stock.
    Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
    Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details

  • Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development (Vintage) $13.21

    In Stock.
    Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
    Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details

  • Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance (Vintage) $13.98

    In Stock.
    Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
    Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychoanalyst Isay trains a Freudian lens on the difficulty gay men have sustaining serious, long-term romantic partnerships. Up against society's prejudice against homosexual love, he observes, they've separated sex and love. As adolescents, gay men suffered the rejection of unrequited affection, but most formatively, they sustained emotional damage in childhood from paternal rejection and/or maternal inattentiveness to their feelings or disregard for their need for autonomy. The result is an inability to fall or stay in love, arising from deep-seated anxiety about dependency, lack of self-love and mistrust of another's love. Isay analyzes dozens of case histories of chronically single gay male patients (he has worked with gay men for more than 30 years), tracing their attachment difficulties to childhood experiences with remote, rejecting or smothering parents. Though Isay (Being Homosexual) weighs in on the same-sex marriage debate with his secondary argument—that the lack of a formally sanctioned structure further undermines gay commitment—readers looking for a complicated, cultural analysis will be frustrated by Isay's one-note psychoanalytic reasoning. He voices important emphasis on the happiness found in long-term, loving relationships, but his account remains too basic for mental health professionals and lacks concrete strategies for real sufferers. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From the Inside Flap

In his many years working with gay patients, psychiatrist Richard Isay has found that regardless of the original reasons they seek help, the majority of gay men eventually bring up their problems with romantic love. Some have difficulty falling in love and even more find it hard to sustain a loving, romantic relationship. If you experience these issues in your life, Commitment and Healing offers hope.

Filled with fascinating case histories drawn from Dr. Isay's practice, this compassionate and inspiring book examines how parental rejection or a lack of empathy with the needs of a homosexual child may later on inhibit a gay man's capacity to feel and express his need for love. Some gay men grow habituated to the means they have relied on to seek happiness without intimacy or intimacy without commitment. Many feel unworthy of romantic love or remain unaware of it until midlife.

In Commitment and Healing, Isay writes that a loving relationship over many years is the antidote for the loneliness and the rejection most gay men have experienced in their lives. While the book is a clear and empathetic exploration of the barriers many encounter, Isay shows that it is indeed possible for this generation of gay men to overcome their fear of commitment and learn how rewarding a loving, long-term relationship can be.


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (May 19, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0471740497
  • ISBN-13: 978-0471740490
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #564,248 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

 

Customer Reviews

6 Reviews
5 star:
 (4)
4 star:
 (1)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (6 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Breakthrough Guide to a Breakthrough in Life, November 22, 2006
By 
Martin Kantor (Asbury Park, NJ) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love (Hardcover)
This terrific book makes two sustainable, important, and moving points: that monogamous gay relationships are possible, desirable, and wonderful, and that if a gay man cannot attain nirvana it is because of certain emotional hang-ups he has, which are possibly reversible by looking at oneself through the mirror that Dr. Isay provides. In my opinion the review from Publisher's Weekly cited above is way off the mark. This text is not narrowly but broadly oriented, and it offers real hope and help, far more than just a series of psychoanalytically-based formulations of no use to anyone but the theorist. I highly recommend it to gay men seeking love but having difficulty finding and sustaining it. Martin Kantor, author of "Together Forever: The Gay Man's Guide to Livelong Love. "
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Cold truth we should all know, but are afraid to find out, August 25, 2006
By 
Mark F. Malan (Pasadena, CA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love (Hardcover)
Dr. Isay makes some very strong points. I bought this book in response to a recent break up. I found its pages filled with incite into a very strong possible reason for why my recent lover was not able to let me into his heart. I used to think that monogamy was not possible in a gay relationship. I found someone that I wanted to share everything with, exclusively. I now feel that monogamy is possible and Dr. Isay explained some valid and compelling reasons why that should be a goal. I highly recommend this book for anyone that has found something missing in their traditional gay relationships.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Commitment and Healing, July 30, 2006
This review is from: Commitment and Healing: Gay Men and the Need for Romantic Love (Hardcover)
This book gave professional insight into gay relationships and their origins and ways to deal with resulting conflicts. Most books have not dealt with such an area. The case histories were also a plus.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews




Only search this product's reviews



Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
This book is about the importance of romantic love for gay men and the difficulty many have in finding or sustaining it. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
homosexual boys, random sex, most gay men, many gay men, other gay men
New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats
Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Front Flap | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Back Flap | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Search Inside This Book:




What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?


Suggested Tags from Similar Products

 (What's this?)
Be the first one to add a relevant tag (keyword that's strongly related to this product).
 
(3)
(2)

Your tags: Add your first tag
 

Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions
   
Related forums



So You'd Like to...


Create a guide


Look for Similar Items by Category


Look for Similar Items by Subject