Common Thread: Mothers, Daughters, And the Power of Empathy [Hardcover]

Martha Manning (Author), Rosie O'Donnell (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0756784034 | ISBN-13: 978-0756784034 | Publication Date: September 30, 2002

There is no relationship more fulfilling, infuriating, emotional, and problematic than that of a mother and daughter. Psychology has traditionally regarded as inevitable -- and, in fact, necessary -- a female child's eventual separation from her mother as adulthood ensues. Now renowned psychologist and author Martha Manning offers mothers and daughters of all ages a revolutionary new way of understanding each other and their relationships, and challenges the accepted thinking that this powerful bond must ultimately be severed. In a work of intelligence, wit, heart, and scholarship, Manning examines this important link and concludes that it is a precious attachment that is never outgrown -- that, while the differing, ever-changing needs, conflicts, and obligations of two distinct women may create a chasm between them, bridging the gap will serve to strengthen a lifelong commitment, love, and identity, while fostering essential independence. The key is empathy.

Through empathy -- the ability to perceive the other's actions as an aspect of individual behavior -- even a troubled relationship can become gratifying and beautiful. Exploring the developmental stages of the mother-daughter union from infancy through old age, Manning provides potent tools to help us build stronger ties, enabling us to celebrate rather than eschew the twists and turns, joys, secrets, and surprises inherent in this most glorious of life connections. She also focuses new attention on the parts played by cultural, historical, psychological, and biological influences, areas often ignored in previous works on the subject.

Drawing on her personal experiences as a mother, daughter, and "champion eavesdropper," combined with scrupulous research and intriguing insights culled from today's headlines, literature, pop culture, and extensive clinical experience, the author casts a fascinating new light on what can -- and should -- be a dynamic, fluid, and mutually empowering relationship. For everyone who is, and always will be, a mother, a daughter, or both, this important, inspiring book will guide the reader toward a new love and respect born of understanding and the enriching ability to find the common thread.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Clinical psychologist Martha Manning skillfully pieces together the many "squares" that make up mother-daughter relationships, with empathy as the common thread that binds them all. The result is an elaborate, expansive quilt, rich with facts, anecdotes, and her own compelling stories from daughterhood and motherhood.

While chapter titles ("Pregnancy and Childbirth," "Infancy," "Childhood," and so on) suggest a clear progression, Manning's tendency is to travel whatever fascinating allegorical "back roads" she spots. Thus, her young adulthood chapter wonderfully dissects the elements of change, autonomy, and the new roles mothers assume as their daughters enter this stage; yet along the route, readers will find gems in Manning's references to Venn diagrams, passports, many contemporary books and plays, and a sitcom-worthy transcript from a visit to her elderly parents, titled, "You Can Never Have Too Much Heat and Light."

All reference details park at the back of the book, leaving plenty of room for the heavy flow of Manning's analyses, insights, and musings. Not surprisingly, she lists author Andrew Solomon (The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression) as an inspiration: Manning's own work--while not as exhaustive as Solomon's--similarly weaves, bends, and takes the occasional untrod mental path, with truly laudable results. --Liane Thomas --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Both psychologist Manning (Undercurrents) and Snyderman, a surgeon, columnist, ABC and PBS medical news correspondent, and author, explore the mother-daughter relationship through research and personal experience. Although Snyderman restricts her study to adolescence and Manning takes a broader view, they both examine the relationship from dual perspectives, considering how mothers and daughters can bridge the gaps between them and create dynamic relationships for a lifetime. Manning argues that empathy can link mothers and daughters and identifies barriers to empathy at each life stage. Stressing that it is never too late to build a better relationship, she urges women to examine themselves and see what barriers they are creating. In an afterword, she urges all women to use empathy not only in their relationships with their mothers and daughters but in improving the status of women everywhere. Snyderman offers an in-depth analysis of the mother-daughter relationship during adolescence, suggesting that growth and change need to be experienced by the mother as well as the daughter and offering guidelines for dealing with these changes. She stresses the individual nature of each relationship for both mothers and daughters, and notes the frequent coincidence of a daughter's adolescence and a mother's entry into mid-life, times when both may be exploring expanded roles and identities. Snyderman offers concrete examples and tries to debunk certain myths of adolescence, such as inevitable rebellion and raging hormones. Both books are recommended for parenting and women's issues collections in public and academic libraries. Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 351 pages
• Publisher: Diane Pub Co (September 30, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0756784034
• ISBN-13: 978-0756784034
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.2 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,177,490 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Compassionate, wise, and true, April 16, 2002

By 

Andrew Solomon "NoondayDemon" (New York, New York USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Common Thread: Mothers, Daughters, and the Power of Empathy (Hardcover)

In this astonishing book, Martha Manning really pins down the truth of mother-daughter relationships--how difficult, how tender, how involved they are, how they define whole lives. In prose that is often beautiful, she evokes the intimacy and the struggle that exist between the females of the family, and shows how the generations learn to tolerate what they cannot love in each other. What's especially astonishing is that Manning is able so often to accomplish her purpose with gentle humor--the book keeps you smiling from cover to cover, even when it's describing difficult passages in life. I recommend it unconditionally.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ FOR MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS ALIKE, April 30, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Common Thread: Mothers, Daughters, and the Power of Empathy (Hardcover)

I've always been drawn to works of fiction, not psychology, to try and understand the human psyche. But Martha Manning has won over my heart with her new book, THE COMMON THREAD. Yes, it's a book that delves head-on into numerous psychological issues that are born out of the mother-daughter journey. But she uses literature and stories from her own life to make these issues come alive. Manning is such an exquisite (and breezy) writer that you forget you're reading a serious nonfiction book. I got the same pleasure out of reading THE COMMON THREAD as I do reading a favorite novel. I also have an entirely new understanding of my current realtionship with my mother and a new set of tools for navigating our future together. Thank you Dr. Manning for such this truly special book!

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A True Gift To Mothers and Daughters, May 6, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Common Thread: Mothers, Daughters, and the Power of Empathy (Hardcover)

Dr. Manning uses literature and her own personal experiences as she explores the mother/daughter relationship from pregnancy to old age. She helps you to understand this sometimes challenging connection. What I like most about Manning's work, is her humor that shines through, particularly when dealing with difficult circumstances. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is a mother or a daughter.