5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
"Common Threads," Individual Journeys, March 7, 2002
This review is from: Common Threads: Nine Widows' Journeys Through Love, Loss and Healing (Hardcover)
Diane Kaimann's "Common Threads" intermingles her own story of sudden widowhood with accounts of the losses endured by a group of (disguised) friends. The narrative is vivid and heartfelt, objective without being dispassionate. Neither Kaimann nor her peers come off as whiny or weak. In fact, the reader wonders how some of these women survived their spouses' long illnesses and the sustained caregiving and adjustments in their personal and family lives that preceded the actual deaths.
Kaimann, however, was spared both the suffering and the potential gratification of saying a final "goodbye." Her husband, Dick, died abruptly while scuba diving off a Maui beach. It was near the end of a vacation in "paradise." While she worried that Dick continued to pursue diving opportunities despite a history of heart disease, she indulged his love for the activity, hoping that his doctor's permit was well-advised. So, with a hearty "have fun, see you later," she took a walk and returned to their hotel less than two hours later to witness an ambulance whisking her husband, in cardiac arrest, to a hospital. By the time she caught up, doctors told her that resuscitation efforts had failed. Half a world away from her Milwaukee home, Kaimann left "paradise" and traveled back alone--to a whole new existence.
How she and the others have turned existence into renewed living encompasses a variety of everyday situations: funeral preparations, a widow's group at the synagogue, travel, entertaining, dining out, encountering well-meaning (but still married) friends and family, house and car maintenance. Each story has its heart-tugging facets, yet there is humor: Kaimann's battle with a resident mouse, a friend's grandson taking "Grampy's" chair for the first holiday dinner without "Grampy."
Faith has helped some, therapy others. Where one immediately went back to work or travel, another held back and welcomed the rabbi's "permission" to not attend an out-of-town family wedding. Kaimann, dabbling in psychometric and psychic encounters, "hears" Dick's guidance and encouragement.
That one cannot generalize about--or judge--responses to loss, grief, mourning and recovery is the ultimate truth in Kaimann's book. She gently lets us know that, despite "common threads," it is an individual journey. And there is no right or wrong road on that journey.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A MUST READ: RESPONSE TO LOSS IS UNIVERSAL, March 6, 2002
This review is from: Common Threads: Nine Widows' Journeys Through Love, Loss and Healing (Hardcover)
I have more experience with grief and loss than I would like. As a former grief counselor and nursing instructor, I have read many books about the grief process. Diane Kaimann's book stands above the rest, as it is written from the heart, and is easily understood by anyone. Diane takes you into the homes of the people she interviewed, making you feel as if you are there with her. Her own poignant story takes you on her journey from shock to despair to learning to live with her loss. Anyone who has experienced a loss or who ever will, must read this compelling and heart rendering book.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Common Threads is truly a gift, March 6, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Common Threads: Nine Widows' Journeys Through Love, Loss and Healing (Hardcover)
Once I picked this book up, I could not put it down. As Diane shares the thoughts and feelings that she and others experience after such a terrible loss, we are reminded that we are never alone. This book offers a message of comfort and hope to anyone who has ever lost a loved one. Common Threads and its author are a gift.
R.F.
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