Communion: The Female Search for Love (Paperback)

by bell hooks (Author) "VERY day I talk to women about love and aging..." (more)
Key Phrases: female search for love, patriarchal men, sexist thinking, John Gray, Elizabeth Wurtzel, Harriet Lerner (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
While feminism may have changed boardrooms, it didn't make much headway in bedrooms, argues philosopher/writer hooks. Women have made progress in regard to social empowerment, but the quest for emotional density for love has remained elusive. Why are men still so emotionally unsatisfying? Because, hooks argues, "patriarchal thinking has socialized males to believe that their manhood is affirmed when they are emotionally withholding." Patriarchy valorizes power and assigns it to men, and devalues nurturing and labels it feminine. Thus, young postfeminist women find themselves with "nothing to show" from their newly won equality but a double shift of work: first the paid job, then the physical and emotional homework of their relationship with their man. Still, as feminists of hooks's generation reach midlife, they may find it easier to rethink these terms of engagement, to risk changing things. The first step, she says, is self-love accepting one's body and soul just the way it is. Without such acceptance, women cannot escape the domination-submission dynamic. Even then, in this patriarchal universe finding love with another person may require some creativity. Hooks explores romantic friendships, lesbian loves and "circles of love" (which allow for committed bonds that extend beyond one partnership). A life with no coupling, but "a more authentic relationship between self and world," may also be satisfying. Twenty-something women who've embraced the highly problematic "bitch persona" Elizabeth Wurtzel has written of may sneer at hooks's affirming style, but older women, particularly those raising girls themselves, will find much to ponder here. (Feb. 1)Forecast: This should satisfy those looking for an alternative Valentine's Day gift for the leftist/feminist woman in their life.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
It's not true that you can love too much, social critic hooks warns women. Just let yourself go.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (December 24, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060938293
• ISBN-13: 978-0060938291
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #92,424 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Self love radiating out to others, January 19, 2003

By	rainqueen - See all my reviews

This review is from: Communion: The Female Search for Love (Hardcover)

Simply wonderful. Covers not only romantic, familial, and friendly relationships but focuses on the heart of the matter: women loving and respecting ourselves. Choosing appropriate relationships and nurturing them is only one part of that more important aim. bell hooks urges us to focus on being complete within ourselves - difficult for all women in our culture, particularly so for women of color.

Her observations are wise. Her grasp of history is absolute. Her ideas stimulate intelligent and loving thought, conversation, and action. Read this book.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Love from a feminist perspective, February 19, 2003

By	The Spiritual Reviewer (Center Harbor, NH United States) - See all my reviews

Communion is a discussion and legitimization of the pursuit of love from a mid-life feminist perspective. Hooks believes that the desire to understand how love works is a serious, important, and ultimately joyful life-work activity that should be studied and taught. The big question she attempts to answer is how to "find, keep, and make love despite the power of patriarchy."

The best part of this book is that Hooks always tells the truth as she sees it. There is no glossing over or contriving to make a point. Sometimes her language is sexually explicit and blunt. She explains love from the perspective of her own personal life experience and through intelligent observation and study of our culture and gender practices. The impact of the feminist movement is woven through her assessment. Unlike many other feminists, however, Hook's voice is not militant.

There is only one caution. The ever-present temptation for Hooks and for all of us is to find excuses why we cannot find love or be loving. From the ego's perspective, there is always a so-called justifiable reason for the rejection of another. In this case, the justifiable reason is patriarchy. However, unconditional love means that we undo the hate inour minds and extend love no matter what distressing disguise is presented to us.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars wise, humane, and well worth reading., March 6, 2002

By	Lawrence W. Prichard "lj-and-me" (Kent, OH, United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Communion: The Female Search for Love (Hardcover)

I have read journal articles by bell hooks, but this is the first book I have read of hers. It won't be my last book by her.

Communion: The Female Search for Love is part memoir, part challenge, and very thoughtprovoking.

One aspect I liked best was her debunking of the myth of "women who love too much." Another center of focus is the effect of gainful employment on the perceptions of love.

Her language is direct and clear, but not simplistic.

This is a very good book, and one that I hope will be widely read and discussed.

Even though her subtitle is "The Female Search for Love," men can learn from this worthwhile book, if they have the courage to read it.

This might be an excellent choice for a book group.