Customer Reviews

Communion Wafers Box of 1000

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. One can only eat so many carrot and celery sticks before one screams. How better to spruce up the blandness than the crunchy goodness of Jesus? Jesus is good with fat-free dips, as the base for cucumber sandwiches (especially with lemon salt) and out of this world on salads! I mean, do you have any idea how many calories croutons have? But not Jesus. Oh, no. He's fat and virtually calorie free.

We are taught to bring all our problems to the feet of Our Loving God, Jesus, and many of us have prayed for years in vain for help loosing the inner tire or the cottage cheese legs. And you know, He was answering us all along! Order several boxes of Jesus, and He'll help you out with that unsightly double chin, just as you prayed!

I am concerned to think that uninformed customers may be buying generic communion wafers like this over the internet. Not only is there the risk that these products may contain impurities or traces of false gods which will cause serious and permanent damage to your soul, there is also the undoubted fact that buying generic wafers deprives legitimate churches of income which they can use to research new and more effective means of salvation. I must also emphasise that communion wafers should never be supplied ready consecrated and do not constitute Jesus until processed by a trained professional wearing the appropriate liturgical vestments and using the approved lubricants. Steer well clear.

It is almost blasphemous how disgusting these things taste. I don't know how this company sleeps at night, creating these foul tasting wafers supposedly used to celebrate the Lord's Supper. Perhaps your church has low standards, then maybe these are for you. But for the discerning communion wafer buyer, pass on these and go for the 1/2" square variety. (Yes, they are unleavened, just the way you like them). Or use anything else but these. Don't buy these things please.

I made the mistake of buying these for my church and in addition to having the rest of the church staff laugh at me repeatedly for buying such a disgusting communion wafer, I also wasted some of the church's money, which is never good. Don't be like me. Be a hero.

If just one person is saved the shame and humiliation that these wafers bring into the lives of innocent people, I will know that this review was not written in vain.

These are great for snacking in front the TV while my stories are on. Yesterday I made some onion dip w/ bacon and it was the perfect spread for these little bits of Heaven! The only problem is that sometimes I get a hair or a little bit of bone in a wafer. They should do a better job of filtering out all the Savior's inedible parts.

When I bought these communion wafers, I expected the body of Christ to be good for me. However, upon delivery, I noticed that there was no nutritional information on the box. How good is Christ for me, really?

I use the Astroglide to grease the joints in my sling shot and the sling shot to fire Jesus pieces at unsuspecting sinners. My belief is if a sinner or non-catholic is touched by the body of Christ they will automatically reform. I am a Catholic Superhero working everyday to better our world and ensure that more people go to heaven. All this altar boy stuff is just shameful and I am coming for you!!!!

Why is the price of a used box the same as a new box? Or is it one of those loaves-and-fishes deals?

Somehow the manufacturer has managed to get rid of that disturbing bloody aftertaste that plagues most brands of Jesus' raw flesh. Maybe they somehow siphon off the Jesus blood to use it in making tasty, iron-rich, blood of Jesus-flavored wine.

For those people who suffer from celiac disease, and therefore are unable to tolerate wheat, we wonder if this tasty Jesus-flavored snack would still trigger the destructive autoimmune reaction that typifies celiac disease.

If you know the sooper-seekrit magic spell that can be used to turn these ordinary wafers into the literal raw flesh ripped brutally from the carcass of a famous human-deity hybrid you can turn these wafers into a high protein main course for the entire family. Imagine Jesus in a rich marinara sauce, or for a change of pace a spicy Jesus curry! Add lots of salt, soy sauce, and smoke flavoring to make your own Jesus Jerky. Or you can grind up this wonderful, meaty Jesus flesh and make Jesus burgers, we like ours with mustard, ketchup and a pickle on the side.

I bought a box of these lovely communion wafers, and the lord is tasting a little stale. You might want to check the date on that lord, or to cover up the taste I recommend using Astroglide Personal Lubricant, Sensual Strawberry, 5-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 2). Not only does it help with the swallowing process, it also adds some flavor.

These didn't taste like Jesus at all to me. I did, however, like them with some peanut butter (extra chunky) and a glass of wine (not actual blood of christ either...). I like sticking a few together with peanut butter and seeing how many I can fit into my mouth at once. The pastor loves this trick! Why does he tickle me so? Well, you'll like these, just don't go making dinner with them - you will be disappointed....