Customer Reviews

The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Tina has written a book that is accessible and appropriate for a variety of lifestyles. My partner and I are not yet married, but are in a committed, three-year relationship. I will move to his town in about a year, when my last child leaves for college. He lives an hour away and is responsible 50% of the time for his two children, 12 and 15. Our schedules are often hectic and difficult to coordinate. "The Commuter Marriage" provided us with resources and strategies to face our challenges head-on. Through her use of case studies involving couples in different situations, my partner and I were able to find examples that 'spoke' to us, and with which we were able to identify. I believe we will not only survive the next year, but we will thrive! I highly recommend "The Commuter Marriage" to anyone in a long-distance/commuter marriage or committed relationship. Brenda Lange

I was very disappointed in this book. The author takes a very clinical point of view. Emotions pay a very small part in the counseling. I know that the feelings I was having were harmful, that's why I bought the book. I needed advice on how to cope with my disappointment, anger, jealousy (of the new job), etc. She gives hints that a chapter will begin discussing an emotional issue and I would think, "Finally!", only to find that she skimmed over the issue. Even her sample couples seem cold and contrived.

I must mention that my children are very nearly grown so my husband and I don't have many of the workload issues that other couples have. Perhaps someone with small children would find it more useful so i gave it a 3. I would NOT recommend it for anyone else.

The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart

What the experts are saying about The Commuter Marriage:

"When you get married, you promise to love and cherish 'for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health'...but what about 'for near or far?' When the circumstances of life put a bit of distance between husband and wife, Tina Tessina provides the perfect insights and solutions for keeping close across the miles. Couples who sense a challenge in their long-distance situations will learn how to communicate and keep their equality in their home, handle anxiety and jealousies, get creative and flexible in finding solutions...and then those Welcome Homes are all the sweeter! Whether you travel for work or just keep opposite shifts, the greatest gift you can get for your marriage is this book!" -- Sharon Naylor, author of The Bride's Diplomacy Guide and Love Bets.

"Tina Tessina's The Commuter Marriage is the guidebook for which so many couples have been longing. Always practical, logical, and extremely sympathetic, Dr. Tessina lays it all out - the points to consider, the do's and don'ts, the potential pitfalls and, yes, even the advantages of this very modern phenomenon. No one should even think about making arrangements for a long distance relationship without her book in hand." - Isadora Alman, MFT Board certified sex therapist and author of Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex.

"An inspiring, insightful book for husbands and wives who desire a fuller, more satisfying and healthier relationship. It offers a variety of practical solutions to assist and empower married couples in creating a productive, gratifying and meaningful lifestyle that works best for their family. Every married couple should read it!" -- Hogan Hilling, The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads

"As a public safety psychologist, I work with police and fire fighter families as they struggle with shift work and emergency deployments. Help is on the way. Dr. Tessina's easy-to-read new book, The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart is full of sage advice, tips, and skill building exercises for a range of topics from the practicalities of managing time, money and childcare to the emotional challenges of intimacy, communication, and jealousy. Along the way, she shows the reader how real couples cope with a variety of long and short term separations." -- Ellen Kirschman, Ph.D. author of I Love a Cop: What Police Families Need to Know and I Love a Fire Fighter: What the Family Needs to Know

"More and more couples find themselves married (or together) while spending significant amounts of time apart. Problems with childcare, intimacy, emotional support and household management can make "commuter marriages" difficult -- but relationship author, columnist and private-practice therapist Tina Tessina has seen it all.

"In The Commuter Marriage, Dr. Tessina presents practical exercises and commonsense advice for intimacy, parenting, divvying chores, keeping anxiety -- and jealousy -- at bay, and even such small, but important, things as getting used to sleeping alone.

"As the frequently traveling half of a couple, I found terrific techniques here for dealing with the practical aspects of running a household apart from a partner. Not to mention the fellowship that comes from knowing that, in living together-but-sometimes-alone, I am not, in fact, alone." -- C.K. Lowe, journalist and author of Everything Health Guide to OCD

"She's done it again. Like her many other helpful books, this one is just loaded with practical do-able suggestions. Sometimes you just want to say, "Why didn't I/We think of that!!" But in the midst of the issues one doesn't. Other suggestions you may have thought of, but decided they were probably not any good, and Dr. Tessina gives you courage to try. I plan to give this to several friends immediately." Rev. Dr. Mary Ellen Kilsby, Pastor Emeritus, First Congregational Church, Long Beach, CA

"In an age when most of us are separated by long distance and time or apart because of demanding schedules, this book hits a chord. Simple, straight-forward, practical, and compassionate, this book offers just-in-time wonderful advice for our crazy-busy lives. I need it!" -- Eileen McDargh, international speaker and author of Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life's Complexities and Work for a Living & Still be Free to

Live.

"With so many couples living apart at least some of the time, Tina has written an enlightening book with lots of tips and insights into keeping a commuter relationship healthy." -- Daylle Deanna Schwartz, self-empowerment counselor and author of 9 books, including All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise.

"Tina Tessina's advice to commuting couples is thoughtful, direct and smart. She provides a straight-talking but sympathetic roadmap through a situation that can be full of stress." - Maryn McKenna, author, Beating Back the Devil: on the Front Lines with TheDisease Detectives of the Epidemic Intelligence Service

"In today's economy, we sometimes need to go where the jobs are -- even if that means temporarily living far from home. Tessina helps parents keep their marriage, kids and sanity together with solid tips for staying close to your children, and parenting as a couple, while you're apart." -- Kathy Sena "Parent Talk Today" blog [...]

"If you're in a commuter relationship, or considering one, you and your partner should read this book cover to cover. Dr. Tessina anticipates every challenge you're likely to face, and gives a solid perspective and self-help exercises for dealing with each one. Learn how to keep your marriage close when you're apart and re-unite when you're together. The Commuter Marriage stands out because it is up to date - for example, using current technology to share thoughts and photos - and because Dr. Tessina is a world-class expert on making relationships work." - Joan Price, [...], author of Better than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty.

"If more women in commuter marriages read Tina Tessina's book they might not have to read mine. This is a down-to-earth, practical, extremely helpful guide to staying together when circumstances conspire to keep you apart." -- Erica Manfred, author, He's History;

You're Not, the Girlfriends Guide to Mid and Late Live Divorce.

"As a specialist in modern women, I often refer my readers to Tina Tessina and her books. Tina writes in a way that is relevant, interesting and her unique style resonates particularly well with women and the challenges they face in modern relationships." -- Kylie Welsh, journalist and author of Impertinent Women? Women In Pursuit Of The Extraordinary!

"The Commuter Marriage takes a practical and proactive approach to handing the challenges inherent in a commuter marriage. Author Tina Tessina explores the many issues that couples face when living apart--from coping with the financial cost of "distance marriages" to staying close emotionally even when separated by miles. The personal stories provide a valuable insider's viewpoint, highlighting the unique experiences of couples in commuter marriages. By following the recommendations and advice in The Commuter Marriage, couples will not only be able to successfully weather their time apart but will bring a new perspective to their time together." -- Nancy Christie author of The Gifts of Change and creator of [....]

"In The Commuter Marriage, Dr Tina Tessina expertly addresses a 21st century reality -- that more and more couples are in long-distance relationships, because of work, shift differences, or military deployment. The exercises, case histories and guidelines in this book will help any couple negotiate the thorny issues -- including communication from afar, maintaining intimacy, co-parenting at a distance, and re-entry. Any couple facing separation would benefit from this book." -- Lisa Earle McLeod, Author of Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear

"As a licensed marriage counselor, I appreciate the practical and effective advice in Dr. Tessina's book. These are the major issues for commuting couples, and the exercises and information in these pages will help any couple navigate them." -- Riley K. Smith, M.A., MFT, Author of How to Be A Couple and Still Be Free, and True Partners

"Being far apart doesn't mean you can't be close. -The Commuter Marriage is a good guide for couples who want to stop arguing about finances." Stacie Z. Berg, award-winning journalist and author of several books, including The Unofficial Guide to Managing Your Personal Finances.

"As Dr. Tessina says, commuter marriages are not new. I was married for over 40 years to the late Rudy Bond, an actor who spent much of his time in Hollywood or on the road in plays. Our marriage worked very well, perhaps better than a more conventional one, as we both were people who needed our space. Each coming together was a honeymoon. This intelligent book will help other commuting couples achieve success." -- Dr. Alma H. Bond, psychoanalyst and author of several books, including Who Killed Virginia Woolf? A Psychobiography