55 of 59 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
How to think like a gentleman, January 1, 2005
This review is from: The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry (Hardcover)
How does one become a compleat gentleman? According to Brad Miner, the first step is to desire to be one (as the word should be defined, not necessarily as we use it today).
Mr. Miner does not take the "Etiquette" by Emily Post approach to the subject. A gentleman does not follow a checklist of do's and don'ts. No checklist can address every circumstance in which the gentleman may find himself.
Rather, the author attempts to show the aspiring gentleman how he should think, for if a man understands the principles that inform gentlemanly behavior, he will need no checklist.
Mr. Miner succeeds in his lesson. Though certain points are made repetitiously, the breadth of the author's knowledge of history and of the classics is not only apparent, but also helpful. The book would be interesting as a history of Western Civilization even if it did not address the topic under consideration.
The compleat gentleman, according to Mr. Miner, strives for balance between the should be, and the can be. So, while he desires to meet the highest moral and spiritual standard, the true gentleman is not, as my father once said, "So heavenly minded that he is of no earthly good."
If you want a book to tell you what to wear and when to wear it, what to say and when to say it, and how to respond to specific circumstances, do not read this book.
If, on the other hand, you want to be challenged to think like a man and live like a man, I recommend "The Compleat Gentleman."
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
26 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Becoming a Compleat Gentleman in the 21st Century, January 22, 2005
This review is from: The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry (Hardcover)
With the large number of books being published these days, one might think there are ample books already available on any given subject. The subject of the Gentleman may be a counter-example to that idea. Brad Miner's book, The Compleat Gentleman, attempts to fill the void of books describing and defending the virtues of a gentleman.
Most of the first chapter centers on the actions of the men onboard the sinking Titanic, both the hit motion picture and the true history. While watching the movie in the theater with his son, the laughter of some teenagers behind him at the words of a gentleman made him realize what constituted chivalry in the early 1900s have been lost on the current culture. In this chapter he uses the men of the Titanic to define some elements of the gentleman and set up the rest of the book.
Chapter 2 begins Mr. Miner's deep plunge into the history of chivalrous tradition. The natural starting point is Arthurian legend since "King Arthur is the lightning rod of the chivalric imagination." Two threads are developed in this chapter that are often interwoven: the literary history of chivalrous tradition and historical information on the training and activities of knights. He not only discusses the chivalric elements of Arthurian legend but also the issues of historical reliability of the traditions. He continues on to training of the page, squire, and the knight, which leads historically to the Knights Templar.
The position of the knight faded away, but the code of chivalric conduct remained. "The model of the true knight was gradually supplanted by the beau ideal of the complete gentlemen, which-arguably-reached its zenith during the long reign of England's Queen Victoria." This transition is brought to bear in Chapter 3 in a discussion of the plethora of literature on gentlemen's code of conduct in the midst of the Victorian era.
The first three chapters are the foundation for the next three. A set of values and characteristics being established historically, Mr. Miner defines three main categories essential to the gentleman: the warrior, the lover, and the monk. Chapter 4 focuses on the martial spirit of the gentleman. According to Mr. Miner's analysis, honor is to be valued above, even at the expense of death and key to this is being prepared for anything. He colors his report with a bit of history and evidences from his own experiences.
Switching back to a more historical analysis, Mr. Miner examines the courtly love tradition in Chapter 5. After a brief tangent on women in the military, Mr. Miner comes to the conclusion that in love the goal of the gentleman is "to allow a woman to be what she wants to be." His ideal woman is "the architect of her own happiness."
Mr. Miner begins his discussion of monks in Chapter 6 pointing out what seems to be an inherent contradiction in the categories of the gentleman. "At any time have there been `lover monks'?" Instead of women, Mr. Miner focuses the affections of the monk on learning and truth. The monk qualities of the gentleman then are education and self-discipline.
After all of the build up from historical analysis, Mr. Miner gets to the application of what it means to be a gentleman today. For today's warrior courage, strength, and honor are necessary, as well as always being prepared. For today's lover, he reiterates "What does a woman want most? To have her own way. This is the key to both conjugal joy and social harmony." For today's monk he also reiterates the necessity of education. Mr. Miner sums up this chapter, in part, by reflecting on some of the codes of our armed forces and how those are examples of codes of conduct for the gentleman.
The final chapter is on the art of sprezzatura, roughly meaning restraint, though Mr. Miner spends time throughout the book playing with slight variations of meanings. The gentleman "is possessed of the commingling of restraint and detachment that is sprezzatura and that we can easily call cool."
When I picked up The Compleat Gentleman, I expected more of a book on conduct. To a great degree, I was pleasantly surprised by Mr. Miner's emphasis on historical analysis and definitions, as well as a discussion primarily focused on character rather than conduct. This is to Mr. Miner's credit. However, much of the historical information became tedious. I found myself bored through Chapters 2 and 3 and mostly kept reading in hopes that Chapter 7 would be worth it. Not only was some of the information tedious, but particularly the overview of the debate on Arthurian legend was irrelevant to the rest of the book.
The chapter on sprezzatura, I think, would have fit better before discussing the applications for today's gentleman. But disorderliness is somewhat characteristic of this book. At several points Mr. Miner begins talking about a future chapter, apologizes for getting ahead of himself, and returns to the point where he started. This often made the book feel unorganized and perhaps not well thought out (surely he has a Word processor and can rearrange his points!).
What makes this book a worthwhile read is: 1) the topic is not discussed often enough, so any discussion of it is worth the time, 2) many "academic" discussions of literature and history are brought into a layman's understanding, and 3) Mr. Miner draws out many conclusions that would make the world the better place were they practiced by men. For a Christian perspective read my full review by adding dot com to my name.
I could have easily put the book down towards the beginning, but about half way through it became more difficult to do so. In the end it was worth the time, and I would expect to read it again within the next 5 to 10 years. Overall: B-
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Outstanding "History of the Idea of the Gentleman", June 17, 2004
This review is from: The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man's Guide to Chivalry (Hardcover)
Many men reflect in quiet moments that they are not, perhaps, what something inside them longs to be. We have every material comfort our ancestors longed for, and many they couldn't have conceived, and yet, as our President put it in 2000, so much prosperity, to so little purpose.
What is lacking is these men are not gentlemen, or at least that they are intellectually divorced from the ideal. This book is an outstanding review of the entire idea, grown so alien to us in our age of no-fault divorce, baby-daddies and crass materialism.
As Miner sets forth in his introduction, the book is neither a manifesto nor a particular call to action, but instead a concise (a bit too concise, in my opinion) history of what it has meant to be a gentleman, from the birth of the idea to what it means to be a gentleman in the modern world.
I cannot imagine a better gift for a young gentleman on the verge of graduation. This book has the potential to make the reader a better man.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Was this review helpful to you? Yes
No
